


Boys Will Be Boys

by KingKay



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Feels, Choices, Coming Out, FTM Ginny, Gay James Sirius Potter, Happy Ending, Multi, Name Changes, Not Harry Potter and the Cursed Child Compliant, Older Characters, Parenthood, Post-War, Potions, Smut, Trans Male Character, Transitioning, Transphobia, Unsupportive Molly Weasley
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-10
Updated: 2020-04-10
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:41:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 54,754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23199583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KingKay/pseuds/KingKay
Summary: Ginny has always felt wrong for as long as she could remember. Uncovering that there is a name for it should have been a relief, if only she had known sooner. At 36 years old, married and a mother of three, Ginny has to decide whether to risk the life she has to become who he was always meant to be.
Relationships: Harry Potter/Ginny Weasley
Comments: 85
Kudos: 199
Collections: HP TransFest 2020, On The Topic Of Gender





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt 52
> 
> Coming out as trans later in life.
> 
> So, this fic is very personal to me and was an emotional rollercoaster to write but I am incredibly pleased with how it turned out. 
> 
> Shout out to the wonderful people who arranged this fest and my amazing beta and sensitivity reader.

Ginny laughed as she leaned forward, eyes screwed tight against the tears threatening to fall as Ron gestured wildly and continued his description of a customer who had come into the joke shop to complain about a product but had failed to correctly read the instructions.

“So he comes in waving it in George’s face and just as he starts shouting it explodes. The entire shop is filled with black smoke; no one can see anything and his shouts of anger are now screams of terror. I didn’t know it was possible for a guy to get his voice that high after puberty,” Ron finished even as he struggled not to laugh himself.

“I bet if there was a spider around here you could manage it,” Ginny sniggered, which had the rest of her brothers and Harry howling while Ron sobered up quickly and gave her a dark glare.

“Hey, I’m not as scared of them as I used to be and anyway it was George and Fred’s fault I even got that phobia.”

Ginny just rolled her eyes as Ron slumped back and crossed his arms in what could only be described as a sulk.

“Oh don’t get your wand in a twist little Ronikins, I’m sure Hermione will protect you from the nasty spiders,” George chimed in as he ruffled Ron’s hair which only earned him a two finger salute, that lucky for them all, their mum didn’t see as she bustled around the kitchen.

Ginny’s mouth opened as she prepared to start her own story about some idiot she had dealt with recently when the sound of her name being called distracted her.

“Ginny. Can you set the table for me dear?”

“Sure thing,” she called back as she rose to her feet with a sigh, her eyes lingering on their group with a spark of jealousy as Charlie jumped in with his own tale and the guys all listened eagerly for the punchline. Entering the kitchen the first thing she noticed was the glance her mother shot her way before it returned to the dough she was rolling out about to be placed on the apple pie and it made her pause in the doorway with her eyebrows raised in question.

“What?”

“Just wondering why you’re not outside with the other girls watching the kids.”

Unable to speak at first as her gut rolled Ginny shrugged in reply, unsure how to explain to her mother that being around her sister in laws was uncomfortable. Sometimes it was fine but other times it felt like they were speaking a secret language that she couldn’t follow, hidden in subtext and coded against outsiders. Guys were so much easier to understand, their words straight to the point or so full of sarcastic banter even a deaf person could pick up on it.

“I was catching up with Charlie since I didn’t see him last week when we dropped the kids off at kings cross. I can’t believe it’s Albus's first year, and it will only be a couple of years until Lily starts Hogwarts too.”

“All the kids are growing up so fast,” Molly sighed as she wiped the flour off her hands with a cloth and tucked it into the pocket of her apron. Ginny felt the corner of her mouth curl upwards as she stepped into the kitchen fully and wrapped her arms around her mother, squeezing her tightly. She had outgrown her over the years and now stood a few inches taller than her, a fact she used to her advantage as she rested her cheek on her mother’s grey wavy hair.

“They are, and eventually you’ll end up cooking even bigger meals to feed their children.”

“I hope by then you’ll have taken over and I can finally put my feet up with a glass of wine,” Molly muttered even as she squeezed Ginny back before letting go. The lurch in her stomach made Ginny step back quickly as the image of her in Molly’s shoes filled her head for a second. There was no way she could ever fill that role in their family and honestly even considering it a possibility made her shudder. Thankfully her mother’s next words cut through her dreary daydream but did little to improve her mood and she rolled her eyes as she drew out her wand.

“I have a wonderful new recipe you could try, something special you could do for the kids when they are home from school.”

“Great, give it to Harry. He’s been looking for something new to try out and loved the others you passed along.”

The moment the words were out she turned her back and therefore was only subjected to the exasperated sigh her mother let out without the accompanying expression of frustration at her attitude. It seemed that no matter how many times Ginny explained that her mother’s skill at cooking hadn’t been inherited by her, Molly was stubbornly determined in her attempts to prove otherwise. It also wasn’t the only thing they ended up knocking heads over. Ten years ago when she had cut her long hair into a choppy pixie cut had been the first of their disagreements , followed by questions about why she hardly ever wore dresses and skirts and her clothing choice was still a touchy topic now. All her tiny criticisms that while being well meaning and often peppered into the conversation as offhand comments always made Ginny’s chest feel tight. It was no secret to anyone including Ginny that she didn’t exactly fit and the feeling of being a square peg in a round hole wasn’t a new sensation but something that had been present for as long as she could remember.

It was always there but came in waves, ebbing and flowing like the sea inside her. Sometimes it was a trickle that tickled the soles of her feet and she could almost forget it as she focused on everything else around her but then there were times when she felt like she was drowning. On those days she didn’t feel at home in her own skin, her bones too big and desperate to stretch out. Those were the days she had trouble finding herself in her own reflection while peering into the mirror, her familiar features for some reason wrong. In her darkest moments she thought that she was broken. That the war, or something before that such as her possession by Voldemort at the tender age of eleven, had perhaps left a mark, a flaw on her psyche. The only problem with that logic was that the feeling had started long before the age of eleven, around the time her brothers no longer wanted to play with her and the games they played were according to her mother 'not appropriate for girls'.

Pushing aside the depressing thoughts in her own head she focused on the spell needed to lay the table. A gentle swish and two sharp taps with a twist at the end and the plates floated down from the shelves, spinning slowly as they did a lap of the table before lowering into place. She had lost count of the number of times she had broken them in her youth and didn't understand why Percy wasn't being asked to do it when he was better at the charm. She had always struggled with spells that required a more delicate touch and her father liked to joke that it was because of her fiery temper, something she had gotten from her mother. Each time he said it in earshot of his wife he earned himself the swishing whip of a dish towel but it never seemed to deter him. As if on cue her Dad entered the kitchen and gave her a warm smile before capturing her in a one armed hug. His eyes met hers and she widened them in a silent plea.

“There’s my little firecracker, I’ve got something new for you to look at in the garage.”

“Oh no, you don’t, you’ll both end up filthy and dinner will be served in a few minutes,” Molly jumped in, her finger waving at her husband. Arthur stepped forward and abandoning Ginny seized Molly’s hand and pressed a kiss to her knuckles.

“I promise we will only be a minute and we won’t have a speck of dirt on us when we return. I’ll call the kids in on the way and they can help lay out the cutlery for you dear.” Before Molly could do more than take a breath he had spun away and with his arm back around Ginny quickly dragged her out the back door.

Filled with relief Ginny took a breath of the crisp autumn air and the feeling lessened as she blew it back out slowly. Her eyes scanned the field before her until they stopped on the two groups off in the distance. On a blanket under the old apple tree were Roxanne and Lily, her long red hair tied up with ribbons into two plaits. It was very clear that the girls had decided to have an impromptu make-over as Lily frowned in concentration and with great care braided Roxanne’s frizzy black curls. Several feet away from them stood Teddy who was clearly explaining something to Hugo as he gestured at the next field but Ginny couldn’t figure out exactly what.

“Dare I risk asking what the boys are up too?” Ginny inquired as she twisted her head to the side and found Hermione and Audrey sitting on the porch bench while Angelina perched on the armrest casually.

“Teddy is explaining the proper way to de-gnome the garden,” Hermione stated with mild irritation. Ginny’s smile grew at her tone; even now Hermione couldn’t stand the idea of what she saw as cruel treatment towards a creature. At least she hadn’t stepped in and stopped Hugo having fun. For a Weasley, de-gnoming the garden was a rite of passage and also a contest.

“Has he managed to beat my record yet?”

Angelina shook her head and flashed a smile in her direction, “No and George still swears you cheated on that throw.”

“That’s because he’s a sore loser. Wow, Hugo’s got a good arm for such a little kid!”

The gnome had flown over the fence, bouncing twice and failed three times to stand up before staggering away.

“Yes he does, I’ll predict right now that he ends up on a quidditch team when he starts Hogwarts,” Hermione confirmed.

“Fred is trying out this year and wants to be a beater like his dad was,” Angelina mentioned.

“I bet George is pleased about that. James is already proving to be as good a seeker as Harry but Albus doesn’t seem overly interested though he’s honestly the better flier. He’ll end up on the quidditch team only because he wants to show James up since he’s in a different house, not that I’m surprised he ended up in Slytherin. Lily’s not bad but it’s obvious she has no passion for it,” Ginny said with ease. At first her daughter’s lack of interest for the sport she had spent years playing and now wrote about for a living had been upsetting. However that didn’t last long and soon enough Ginny had learned to appreciate Lily as the wonderful person she was and give her the freedom to explore her own interests.

“Oh I meant to ask you Ginny!” Hermione exclaimed while pulling her scarf tighter around her neck to keep out the bitterly cold breeze, “Fleur is planning a shopping trip in France for us girls next month and wondered if you wanted to come along. We can get something special for the Ministry’s Christmas gala and then take a tour of the famous Louvre. Can you think of anything better?”

 _Winning an eight hour quidditch match by capturing the snitch resulting in a score of 200 to 210_ , Ginny thought but wisely didn’t say knowing that not even Angelina would agree with her.

“Er, Sounds good,” Ginny answered, forcing a smile as she tried not to groan at the thought of playing dress up. As if sensing her mood Arthur quickly jumped into the conversation.

“Wonderful plan ladies, why don’t you talk more about it over dinner which I’ve been told will be ready soon if it’s not already on the table by now.”

With a collective nod towards Arthur they all began calling back their children, the names mixing together into a din that Ginny cut through with a sharp whistle. In only a few minutes the children had all arrived and with instructions from Arthur all headed inside to help lay out knives and forks and napkins. Lily paused long enough to wrap her arms around Ginny’s waist in a hard squeeze as she showed off the fancy braids down each side of her head and the golden ribbon that had been weaved into it.

“It looks gorgeous Lilypad, why don’t you go show your dad?” Ginny suggested and wearing a bright smile Lily ran inside already shouting for Harry.

“You coming Ginny,” Hermione asked as she waved her son inside and tilted her head.

“I’ll be in soon,” Ginny answered and with a nod Hermione disappeared through the door. A hand settled on Ginny’s shoulder and she looked over at her father, his blue eyes still bright even behind the square rimmed glasses he now wore as age crept up on him blurring his sight.

“She means well you know,” he muttered as they walked towards the garage not needing to say more than that because they both knew who he meant.

“I know but,” Ginny let out a small groan rather than finish the sentence because she did know and so did her dad and possibly even her mother and bringing it up again would just leave her sounding like a moody teenager. She had one of those herself and being in her mid thirties was now far too mature to whine about life being unfair. There wasn’t any malice behind her mother’s words but still they rankled Ginny in a way she couldn’t explain. It wasn’t like she hadn’t tried to fit in but doing it only for the benefit of others hadn’t sat well with her and the older she got the more important her own comfort became over societies. Now she just wished it was no longer an issue and that she could be normal.

“What’s going on in there firecracker?”

“I honestly don’t know,” Ginny answered as she turned to face her father and the lines of worry on his brow. “I think it’s just stress and I miss Albus and James already.”

With a nod of understanding Arthur tugged her into a hug and pressed a kiss to her forehead, “It’ll get better and they’ll be back before you know it for Christmas. Now come see what I’ve got.”

The childish excitement in her dad’s voice helped banish the lingering sadness in her heart and Ginny eagerly followed him through the paint chipped wooden door of the garage where he pulled out a small muggle computer game.

“It doesn’t work so well around here because of the background magic but I’ve managed to make it run once or twice. Muggles truly are amazing in what they can do with nothing but a handful of little metal pieces and some plastic.”

“They are,” Ginny agreed as she gazed round at the odd collection around her, her eyes stopping on a box full of light bulbs and a drawer overflowing with plugs and she remembered the days spent in here marveling over each bizarre item. Even though through her marriage to Harry she now knew almost everything there was to know about muggle technology this place still felt magical to her. As her father continued to chat excitedly about how the 3DS worked Ginny let it wash over her and chase away the tension from her shoulders. She remembered oil on her hands and the scent of burning as she had helped her father take apart his muggle gadgets to see how they worked. It had always been a place where she felt free and helped settle her mind enough to head back into the Burrow a few minutes later before they got into too much trouble for being late for dinner.


	2. Chapter 2

The moment Ginny arrived home she headed towards the sofa and fell onto it face first with a grunt.

“Tired, love?” Harry asked as he sent Lily upstairs to brush her teeth before bed with a wave of his hand.

“More like drained,” Ginny muttered into the soft cushion before lifting her head and repeating it so that Harry could understand her.

“Then what do you say we put Lily in bed and then we can cuddle up with a cold beer for some quiet time?”

“I would say I love you,” Ginny teased with a small smile. All of her stress was fading to nothing now she was home and no longer felt like she was being buried under all the little expectations that had piled on top of her over dinner. The discussions about the trip to France had caused unease to build up inside her chest so that her heart rate had sped up with a type of anxious nervousness that she only got when the topic of a girls day out was mentioned. Each one she got roped into always went the same way, with her trailing behind everyone and desperate to sneak off to look at racing brooms or her eyes trailing over to the men’s section where the more monochrome colours didn’t give her a headache like the glitter and glam of the women’s section.

She envied Harry for his lads nights out with his Auror team and would give up a shopping trip anywhere in the world just to sit in a pub and play pool. The closest she got to that nowadays was evenings at Ron and Hermione’s while Lily slept over at Molly’s and they would have a few drinks and laugh about what was going on in their lives. They didn’t care if she wore jeans and snorted beer out of her nose when she laughed too hard or gorged on take away.

“Come on, lazy, let's tuck in our princess and then you can vegetate on the sofa,” Harry stated as he dragged her into a sitting position and then onto her feet.

“Fine but it’s under protest,” Ginny quipped as she marched past Harry up the stairs in Grimmauld place to the first floor and along the corridor to the third door on the right in time to catch Lily exiting the bathroom already dressed in her pajamas and the ribbons still in her hair.

“Want a hand taking them out?”

“Do I have to?” Lily asked as she reached up to brush a hand over the plaits. Ginny tried not to grimace at the idea of sleeping on the tight braids but shook her head.

“Not if you don’t want to but you might have a bit of a headache when you wake up,” she explained. She always had whenever she had left her hair tied up overnight and was one of the reasons for her drastic change of hairstyle. The main reason however was that it lessened the sensation of wrongness, and each time she ran a hand over the short strains it brought her a strange sense of comfort.

“I don’t mind, I really want to keep them to show my friends at school,” Lily half pleaded with eyes as green as her father and completely melting Ginny’s heart.

“Alright, you win,” Ginny said with a grin as Lily’s face split in two with a broad smile.

“Thanks, Mum.” Ginny was prepared for the hug and opened her arms in time to catch Lily as she launched herself forward. Carefully she trailed her fingertips over her daughter’s rich red locks and after pressing a kiss to Lily’s forehead quickly moved her hands lower and ran her fingers over Lily’s ribs. With a high squeak followed by a girly giggle Lily jumped back and out of reach, before dashing into bed and covering herself from head to toe with the cover. Harry rolled his eyes as he moved past Ginny and into the room, tugging away the flower patterned cover to expose Lily’s face.

“Goodnight, darling,” he whispered before dropping a kiss on Lily’s nose and then moving away.

“Thirty mins and then lights out Lilypad,” Ginny instructed as Lily shifted to sit up in bed and picked up the book on the small set of drawers beside her.

“Can I please stay up until I finish, I’m soooo close to the end now,” Lily begged and after a quick glance to see that indeed Lily had almost completed the book Ginny gave a nod.

“Very well, forty five mins but no more regardless if you’ve finished it or not. You have school tomorrow and that means you need a good night's sleep.”

Lily opened her mouth; clearly about to protest before closing it again and with a distractedly muttered 'yes mum' opened her book and began devouring the words before her. Knowing full well that she wouldn’t get anything out of her daughter now, Ginny shared a knowing smile with Harry as he passed her and together they headed back downstairs.

“You’re such a softy for her,” Harry joked as they entered the kitchen and he pulled two chilled beer bottles from the fridge.

“Sometimes, but so are you and I’m just as soft with Albus and James. It’s not special treatment.”

“And what does that mean?” Harry asked as he handed her one of the bottles and then snapped his fingers which caused the cap to pop off. Ginny snatched it out of the air and running her thumb over the flat surface moved it slightly so it caught the light from the fire that roared to life with a wave of Harry’s hand. Ginny wasn’t sure exactly how to explain what she meant, but knew that Harry would understand anyway. It was one of several reasons why their marriage had lasted for fifteen joyous years and she still considered him her best friend as well as her husband.

“Growing up and being the only girl I always got special treatment but as I’m sure you know being special isn't always a good thing.” It had come with so many expectations and she had tried to live up to them but never quite managed it. It was like someone had carved out a place for her but got the measurements wrong and no matter how much she bent and twisted she couldn’t fit into the space. As nice as it was sometimes to have something that made her unique from her brothers what she wanted more was to be one of them. To be just a Weasley and not, the girl, the daughter, the sister and in her wildest dreams she had pondered what it would be like to have been the seventh son.

“I was always so jealous of my brothers, it always seemed like they could do anything. I want Lily to be whatever she wants to be, to have that same unrestricted freedom but mostly I want her to be happy.” Harry frowned slightly as he reached out and cupped her cheek, his thumb tracing her cheekbone as he peered into her eyes.

“Are you happy?”

“What? Of course I am,” Ginny quickly said in reassurance and she meant it. She had a wonderful husband, three amazing and beautiful children and a job she enjoyed and found fulfilling. If not for the persistent nagging feeling she could describe her life as perfect and it only caused her more frustration when the sense of wrongness rose up because what more could she ever want.

“Well I’m glad to hear that and don’t worry too much, Lily will be fine. I can’t think of anything that could upset that little sunbeam,” Harry reasoned before closing the gap between them and capturing her lips in a soft kiss.

As Harry broke the kiss and smiled down at her Ginny considered his words. It was certainly true that Lily seemed to have a talent for seeing everything in the best possible light. Ginny had so much admiration and even held a spark of envy for her daughter’s confidence in knowing who she was and wanted to be.

“You’re right, as always,” Ginny admitted as she bopped Harry’s nose with her finger. “Still wish I had been a boy growing up, you guys seem to have things easier.”

“You’re joking right?”

A jolt of nervousness shot down Ginny’s spine at Harry’s disbelieving and almost hard tone.

“Of course I am, it’s just a joke,” Ginny promised even as she pushed down a spike of fear because she hadn’t been completely joking. It was a secret, one she had never shared with anyone; even Harry but sometimes she imagined what life would be like if She had been a He. At least she had managed to play it off as a joke and she smiled through the ache in her chest.

“Good, because I can assure you my life wasn’t easy,” Harry continued his voice shifting to something that held a note of humour. Somewhat relieved that Harry wasn’t really angry about her comment Ginny tilted her head as she lifted a hand and ruffled Harry’s messy mop of hair noticing the flecks of grey starting to show in the inky locks.

“You were a special case, Mr Savior,” Ginny gently teased, aware of how much her husband had suffered to be gifted that title. With the general mood now dampened by their conversation and feeling once again uneasy, Ginny quickly changed the subject.

“So do you fancy that cuddle on the sofa now? You did promise.”

Harry’s eyes lit up at her proposal and slinging his arm around her they headed back to the sitting room and the sirens call of their well worn and comfortable sofa. Falling down onto the padded cushions with Harry, Ginny shifted closer into his side so they touched from shoulder to knee. And titling her bottle towards Harry they knocked them together with a soft ting before both taking a large gulp and then letting out a huffed breath at the refreshing hoppy taste.

As they sat and discussed their plans for tomorrow Ginny forgot all about her earlier discomfort. Instead she leaned her head on Harry’s shoulder and closed her eyes as she listened to the rise and fall of his tone as he grumbled about paperwork and the occasional idiocy of his staff that created more work for him whenever they messed up until things began to get fuzzy.

With a yawn Ginny blinked her eyes open aware that she didn’t have a clue what Harry had just been saying for the last few minutes and the wisps of sleep still swirled around her brain. A Glance at the clock on the mantle showed that it was still early, not even ten o’clock but it felt much later as she rubbed her tired eyes.

“I better check on Lily and make sure she’s asleep,” Ginny said in an attempt to rouse herself only for her hand to be captured as she went to stand. Held in place by Harry they stared at each other for a few seconds before Harry spoke.

“I think we should turn in for the night, we both have work tomorrow and neither of us will be any good tired."

“Good point."

“I’ll get rid of the bottles and douse the fires while you check on Lily, deal?” Harry asked and Ginny handed over her empty bottle as she answered.

“Deal.”

Careful to avoid the creaking floorboard Ginny reached Lily’s bedroom door and poked her head around the corner before letting out a quiet chuckle at the sight that greeted her. Lily lay with her book still open on her chest, fingers still curled around the edges but her eyes closed. With a fond smile Ginny crept closer and pried the book loose, Lily only stirring slightly as she let out a heavy breath. Ginny turned the book in her hand and found only a few pages remained to be read and turning to the last page her eyes skimmed over the end of the tale.

_And they all lived happily ever after._

Swallowing past the lump forming in her throat Ginny marked her daughter’s place with a bookmark. The coloured strip of paper was covered in hand drawn flowers and in one corner was a small snitch. It had been her contribution to Lily’s handmade craft one wet evening a few years ago. She knew logically that living happily ever after was in itself a fairytale, an ideological but unrealistic idea. However, like many she had chased that dream, marrying the man she loved and having a family and living in what might as well be a castle for the size of Grimmauld place. With all that why was she still not satisfied, why did she still feel like there was something missing, why did she feel like she was wrong? A wave of guilt crashed over her at her discontented thoughts but she pushed it away as she studied Lily, the few wisps of hair that had escaped the braid curling on her forehead as she breathed softly through parted lips.

The love Ginny felt for Lily and in fact all her children couldn’t be described in words and to even call it love seemed like a weak description for the depth of the feeling she had for them. Being a mother had never been part of her plan as she dreamed of playing quidditch until she retired from old age but when Harry had mentioned starting a family she hadn’t thought twice. A decision she had no regrets over even if she sometimes missed her teammates and the roar of the crowd, this was a hundred times better. She also felt that way about Harry and noticing movement in the corner of her eye Ginny’s gaze shifted. She locked eyes with Harry leaning on the doorframe, his lips curled into a fond smile and something more than that radiating from his eyes. Ginny blinked back the tears forming in her eyes and hoped Harry hadn’t seen them in the dim glow of Lily’s fairy light.

“She looks so much like you when she’s asleep,” Harry commented quietly as he stepped forward and taking the book from Ginny’s hand set it down on the table. As he guided her from the room Ginny didn’t speak, pushing aside everything and concentrated only on Harry’s hand on her hip. The comfort she experienced from that touch enough to silence the worries in her head for now and lessen the weight that sat like a rock in her stomach.

After washing up in their en suite Ginny crawled into bed beside Harry dressed in a pair of cotton shorts and an oversized t-shirt. Harry’s arm was stretched out ready to draw her into a hug and she allowed him to pull her close and kissed him sweetly between whispered good nights before laying her head on his chest. Restlessly, she listened to the steady beat of his heart and let it drown out the world until she finally fell asleep.


	3. Chapter 3

Two weeks later and feeling reasonably comfortable in her skin Ginny walked into her office in the daily prophet and tried not to notice the sudden drop in volume around her. Being editor meant that she was technically the boss of the sports section and while respect was necessary it was something else that caused them all to look at her with polite smiles. Over the years they had relaxed a little at her presence, likely noticing that she wasn’t going to be offended at a bit of male banter and was even happy to join in.

However there were always those moments when their laughter would cut out and they suddenly looked away from her. Often it was an inappropriate comment about a female player in a recent match and while Ginny didn’t allow such things in her workspace, they always made it seem personal to her. It was then that the sense of belonging would vanish and she was singled out as being different. No longer one of them they would cough nervously and dart looks at her like they were afraid to catch her eye. Usually she would make an excuse about deadlines and encourage them to continue their work while she headed to her own desk set at the very back.

Today they were looking between her and a gentleman who was sitting before her desk, his hat clasped tightly in his hands as he turned to look at her and then with a snort turned away.

 _Ah_ , she thought and took a deep breath in preparation as she walked forward and coming around her desk took her seat with a friendly smile.

“Hello, Sir, how may I help you?”

“I want to talk to whoever runs this place,” the man snapped, his tone holding the lilt that all pure bloods with money tend to own.

“And you’ve found me, so what would you like to talk about?” Ginny asked again as she felt her smile become stiff but her voice remained calm.

“I want to talk to the man in charge, not his secretary.”

That was the point that Ginny gave up on trying to remain professional and leaning forward she let her smile disappear as her eyebrows lowered into a frown. Clasping her hands together to hold back the burning desire to grab her wand and turn the man before her into a bug she made sure to speak clearly so he wouldn’t misunderstand her again.

“I am the man in charge and have been for the last ten years. Now may I have your name, sir?”

“You’re a woman,” the man said instead and a shiver went down Ginny’s spine at the sound of that word, said in that tone. It was full of disdain and not for the first time she wondered how many times she would have to hear those words.

“I am the editor of the Prophet’s sports section,” she corrected in chipped tones.

“Oh, well then.”

 _And here it comes,_ thought Ginny as she closed her eyes for a second and got ready for the inevitable.

“You might not be aware miss-.”

“Mrs,” Ginny cut in, “And I am very aware of everything. As I said I have been doing this for years and before that played professionally so before you give me some patronizing explanation about what you believe to be wrong with one of my articles please reconsider and don’t.”

She hated it when they thought she was dumb, when they got nice about their complaint rather than remain angry. It was insulting and frustrating, she would rather they continued to shout and swear than try and be charming. It always just came out sounding smarmy.

“Now I don’t think there is any call for that sort of attitude.”

Growing even more annoyed, Ginny unclenched her jaw, and looking over his shoulder called out to her team.

“Can one of you guys please tell me who this man is and what his complaint was.”

“He’s Mr Vines, his son was on the list we ran last week of up and coming quidditch players in the minor leagues.”

“Vines, I remember now. I believe the article said that he wasn’t a bad flier and certainly knew how to hold a bat but not swing one. His average was only 47% and while when he managed to hit the bludger the power he put behind it was impressive the number of wild swings by comparison left him looking like a toddler trying to swat billywigs. A metaphor I particularly liked and decided to keep in the article. So I shall assume you are unhappy with our review of your son and would like a retraction to be made. I will of course do as you ask and apologise for our unflattering comparison but I will still make it clear that he needs to continue practicing his aim if he hopes to make it as a professional player. Is that acceptable Mr Vines?”

“No it bloody well is not, my son is a talented player and your slanderous article has cost him being scouted.”

“Listen sir, the only team that would consider taking him on is the Chudley Cannons but even they have higher standards than that.”

“Now see here!” the man shouted as he rose to his feet and Ginny was on hers a second later, her wand in hand but not yet pointed at the man before her as he glared down his pointed nose.

“I will retract my original article with an apology but I will not lie just to give your son an ego boost he doesn’t deserve. Either sit down and accept my offer or leave and get nothing. I know the law and what I can publish under the freedom of speech act that was revised in 2006.”

A law that Hermione had personally revised when she had assisted Kinsley in modernizing the legal system while working as the deputy head of the DMLE, and meant that Ginny knew it back to front and front to back. The man’s face had gone red while his lips were white with how hard he was pursing them together. Ginny didn’t even blink as she stared him down, unafraid and ready to stand her ground to the end. She saw the flicker in his eye when he realised she couldn’t be intimidated and he battled with his pride over accepting her more than kind offer or saving face by storming out.

In the end he let out a huff of clear disgust and spinning on his heel marched out through the rest of her department who smirked at him as he purposely kept his head up high. She still heard his muttered insult through the pounding of her heart in her ears.

“Stupid bitch should be at home not sat behind a desk.”

“What an arse,” Earl said the moment the door had closed and was soon joined by a chorus of agreement.

“You told him boss,” Nicolas stated as he saluted at Ginny from his desk.

“Thanks, hopefully that’ll be the last one and I’ll never have to deal with this crap again.”

“Well you won’t get it from us, you’re one of the guys as far as I’m concerned,” said Blake as he dropped his report on her desk. Ginny smiled as he turned away and returned to his work station, a warm feeling settling into her chest that helped soothe the irritation of Mr Vine’s unpleasant visit.

Later that day after Lily was once more tucked into bed and it was just her and Harry, Ginny explained how her day had gone. Harry had listened while he washed up the plates from dinner and hadn’t said a word but Ginny had seen the tension in his shoulders as she explained Mr Vines’ attitude towards her. She knew a part of him wished he had been there and able to step in on her behalf but he had learned very early on when they had gotten back together during her 7th year at Hogwarts that she did not appreciate such things. It was bad enough having to put up with her over protective brothers and she didn’t need him to be another man looking after her.

The fact that he rarely ever felt the desire to try had been one of the things that had drawn her to him in the first place. Until the year he left to hunt horcruxes he had never treated her as helpless and she had been furious with him when he had left her to, in his words, keep her safe. It had been one of the reasons she had kept fighting and worked with Neville to build a rebellion inside Hogwarts. A tiny part of her had wanted to prove him wrong.

“I told him he could accept an apology or leave. I could practically feel the heat coming off his face before he stormed off,” Ginny finished and smiled as Harry’s stony expression broke as he snorted out a laugh.

“That’s my girl,” Harry said proudly but Ginny felt her cheerfulness dim at his choice of words. There was just something about it that seemed in a small way as patronizing as Mr Vines’ comments.

“I hate it,” she whispered, unable to keep the words locked in her head. The amount of rage in her tone was so clear that Harry’s head whipped towards her in a second.

“Hate what?” Harry asked as he quickly dried his hands and reached out towards her. She stepped back from his embrace, her hands curling into fists by her side as she fought to push back the intense anger she felt.

“Gin, talk to me,” Harry urged softly, with his arms hanging uselessly by his sides.

“I’m fine; it’s just frustrating to be seen like that.”

“Like what?” Ginny took a deep breath and slowly raised her eyes up to meet Harry’s.

 _To be seen as a woman_ , she thought but didn’t say because she knew what Harry’s next question would be and that was the one she didn’t want to answer because she didn’t know how to.

“Just you know, as less capable than a man,” she muttered out, a half truth but not a lie.

“Anyone who sees you like that is a fool. You are more than capable at your job and outside it too. You are an amazing person and the people who matter know that so don’t worry about what some idiot thinks.”

Ginny uncurled her hands, her palms only stinging slightly from the crescent moon dents her nails had caused digging into the flesh. Harry’s words made sense but still she couldn’t banish all her irritation and it lingered in the back of her mind. It stirred the wrongness inside her, agitating it into joining the rampant thoughts that spun in her head. It wasn’t fair that even in the wizarding world where magic leveled out most physiological differences women were treated differently. Then a thought slipped into her head, one that she wished she hadn’t formed or even had the ability to consider but there it was.

 _I hate being a woman_.

As if on cue guilt filled her gut, an ugly twisted emotion that burned like acid inside her and poisoned her mind. There were so many strong and brave women in her life and to even think that she hated being one of them felt like a betrayal. There was her mother who had raised seven children and lost one in a war but had held them all together even in her own grief. Hermione who had looked at the magical world and seen its flaws and rather than turn away was determined to fix things by learning everything she could. Even Fleur, who had seen her husband scarred and infected for life by a werewolf, had only held onto him tighter and proved that love was stronger than anything else. Then there was her own sweet Lily that always wore a smile, and could brighten up the day of anyone she met just with her optimistic presence. What sort of person was she to hate such a vital part of herself?

“Ginny.”

Harry’s hesitant call pulled her back into the present and her eyes focused once more on his face, the worry clear in the narrowing of his eyes as he searched her face for some clue to her mood.

“You’re right, I shouldn’t let it get to me but I guess it really got into my head and under my skin,” Ginny said while giving Harry a strained smile. Even though she was still reeling a little from her turbulent thoughts she stepped forward and wrapped her arms around Harry. It only took a second for his arms to rise and while one settled along her lower back pulling her closer his other hand cupped the back of her head. The gentle stroke of Harry’s fingertips in her hair wasn’t enough to completely erase the shame she was experiencing but just holding onto Harry was a comfort that she was thankful for. She didn’t want to think anymore, she also didn’t want to feel but that seemed impossible as she felt herself drowning again beneath the wrongness that never disappeared completely.

While Harry held onto her and whispered words meant to calm her she let them wash over her and instead fought with the demons in her mind. There had always been a part of her that disliked being female, but it had always been because of how others treated her, though she was slowly beginning to see that it was more than that. She hated her smaller frame and softer curves, hated that she would forever be judged by her appearance, hated when people reminded her that she was a girl. It wasn’t something she ever thought about until someone pointed it out, like gravity, it was just something that was but didn’t matter. Ginny was just Ginny, she liked quidditch and baggy jumpers and joking with the guys.

_And she wished she had been born a boy._


	4. Chapter 4

Ginny pulled up the hood of her jacket as the light shower of rain started and hurried to catch up with the others ahead of her. Hermione and Audrey were close together discussing Ministry policies as they sipped coffee from takeout cups while Angelina and Fleur talked about the history of the beautiful city of Paris. Ginny had to admit that the narrow cobbled streets held a certain charm but didn’t see how it was better than just going to London. The French just seemed a bit snobbish to her and not even their overpriced but delicious coffee could change her mind about it.

“Oh look,” Hermione gasped as she pointed out a bookshop that at first glance appeared older than Ollivander's. However that obviously didn’t deter Hermione as she grabbed Audrey’s hand and tugged her through the door. As the rest of them followed Angelina caught Ginny’s eye and they shared a look at Hermione’s book obsession. Ginny honestly didn’t mind stepping into the dusty shop if it got them out of the chilly drizzle of rain.

Scanning around her she pulled down her hood and hesitantly moved forward through the ceiling high shelves that looked ready to topple any minute and almost screamed when a throat cleared behind her, followed by heavy accented French. Ginny spun on her heels and her hand reached for her wand before she looked down at the very short gentleman and instead pressed her hand to her chest over her pounding heart.

“Um,” she said before the man interrupted speaking quickly again in French, his hands held out towards her before he gave a bow. Fleur thankfully jumped in and began talking to the man, her easy nature soon had him softly smiling at her silently as she continued or that might have been a touch of veela allure. Either way Ginny had lost interest as she looked more closely around the shop. From where she stood it was clear that the shop was larger than it had appeared and built on odd levels, with the back raised slightly and a twisting staircase on the left while the right held a door leading to what seemed to be even more books.

Hermione had already wandered over to the nearest shelf and was frowning at the titles as she ran a finger slowly over the spines. Hermione could speak and read French reasonably well if Ginny remembered correctly and it was likely that they wouldn’t be leaving soon. Relaxing Ginny was content to wander the strange shop and found it far more interesting than the glamorous boutiques she had been dragged into already. There are only so many times she can fake interest in shoes or make up before it becomes tedious. A small part of her even considered that Hermione had picked up on her waning interest when she had decided to enter the bookshop and was using it as an excuse to give Ginny a break.

“I have been told that there are English books on the second floor, if you are interested in looking around,” Fleur said, cutting into Ginny’s thoughts.

“Might as well take a look,” Ginny suggested, “what else did the guy say; I didn’t catch a word of it.”

“He was apologizing for startling you and for thinking you were a man. It seems his eyes are not what they once were and with your short hair he made a mistake.”

“Oh,” Ginny uttered, trying to make sense of her feelings. She wasn’t insulted by the man’s mistake; she wasn’t even miffed but almost pleased. She wasn’t exactly happy but it was a nice feeling that she couldn’t name except that it left a warm sensation in her chest and she smiled at the gentleman to show that there were no hard feelings.

Still a little bit confused by her reaction to being mistaken as a man she quickly followed Hermione and Angelina up the stairs, focusing on the collection of rooms she entered. For a moment she wasn’t sure if they were divided by walls or just the shelves even as she had to step down into the room to her right. Audrey came up behind her and let out a gasp at the bay window that overlooked the street below and the two overstuffed chairs obviously placed there as a reading nook. It was so cozy with the light drifting inside that showed the dust dancing in the air and the gentle tap of rain above them that Ginny felt her shoulders relax. There was something about this shop that reminded her of the Burrow.

“It’s like it’s been pieced together from a hundred other book shops,” Hermione commented as she pulled a book off the shelf and opened it without looking at them.

“Exactly,” Ginny agreed. The Burrow had been built bit by bit as more space was needed and the book shop seemed to have a similar design. Walls built with shelves and extra space acquired from the buildings on either side so that it could grow and spread.

“Hey, check this out,” Angelina called out and walking towards Ginny held out a book with a faded blue cover and reading over the title Ginny snorted out a laugh.

“Pranks and jokes for all occasions. When was this thing published?” “1857, I bet there are some things in here that George hasn’t heard of and even if he has it’s something he would enjoy,” Angelina said and Ginny couldn’t disagree with her. Picking up a book herself about the invention of airplanes Ginny settled into one of the chairs and flipped through the pages as she waited for Hermione to finish looking.

By the time someone nudged her, Ginny had lost track of time and the rain shower outside had stopped. Hermione was clutching three books to her chest and looked like a child on Christmas day with how excited she appeared.

“Good haul?” Ginny asked as she set the book back on the shelf.

“Yes, I will have to return another time and have a much more thorough look around,” Hermione said quickly as they all headed downstairs. The man was still there but now tucked behind the counter that they had missed when they entered. Hermione paid for her purchase along with Angelina and with the books now packed into brown paper bags they all called thank you and goodbye as they left.

Ginny had almost forgotten her earlier unease and apprehension about this trip as they strolled down the busy streets. In fact she was so focused on her conversation with Angelina about some of George’s new ideas for the joke shop that she walked right into Hermione’s back not realising she had stopped.

With a muttered apology she quickly stepped back and looked up to see what had caused their holt. The shop had two large windows, complete with fancy arches above each one as well as the glass doorway between them. In the left window stood a headless mannequin wearing a dress of dark blue and speckled with glitter so it resembled the night sky while the right window displayed a pair of matching silver heels and handbag on a two tier pedestal. The sign above was scripted in fancy black letters that stood out against the peach coloured paint of the building.

“Le Tailleur Magique boutique,” Fleur announced excitedly before pushing open the door which jingled as it rang a small bell over the door.

“The magic tailor,” Hermione translated with a raised eyebrow as Fleur nodded in agreement.

“My friend owns this place and I have been coming here for years,” she continued to explain as she waved everyone to follow her.

Ginny was the last to enter, her eyes shifting down the street as if seeking an escape in vain as everyone gushed over the beautiful dresses on display. Fleur was busy hugging a man that was probably in his 30s or 40s and after kissing each cheek they pulled back to smile at each other.

“Antoine, it is wonderful to see you again. We came to see your papa, Where is he?”

“He retired last year and left the business in my hands,” Antoine answered in heavily accented English before complimenting Fleur, “You look lovelier each time I see you. I hope your husband is aware of how lucky he is.”

“He is,” Fleur reassured as Angelina whispered under her breath in Ginny’s ear, “and if he isn't she reminds him.”

“And who are these gorgeous women, ma Cherie?”

Fleur introduced each of them to Antoine who pressed a kiss to each hand offered to him until he reached Ginny. It was clear that he hadn’t expected her grip to be quiet as firm and released it without a kiss for which she was grateful.

“You must be a relative of Monsieur William, the resemblance is unmistakable,” Antoine pointed out.

“It’s the nose isn’t it?” Ginny deadpanned. After hearing so many people recognize her as a Weasley due to her red hair and the covering of freckles on her face she had taken to coming up with new ways to knock them off balance. Antoine chuckled at her question, even as he shook his head.

“Partly but more so the roughness of your hands, is moisturizer unheard of in England?” Antoine jested back and Ginny allowed herself to defrost slightly at their clearly similar sense of humour.

“Pleasantries aside, is there anything you would like help with today?”

“I’m glad you asked, my friends are in need of evening dresses for the Christmas gala.”

“Ah yes, wonderful, wonderful, please come into the back,” Antoine said as he gestured them to follow him behind the counter and through a plain wooden door. On the other side Ginny’s jaw dropped at the expanded room beyond, which had to have been the result of magic. However it was the six house elves that had all turned to look at them that really caught her eye. All of them were dressed up to the nines in perfectly tailored dresses and suits and held themselves with more confidence than elves usually possessed. Hermione’s changes to the laws regarding elves' rights had gone a long way to changing things but Ginny would bet money that these elves had never been mistreated or thought of themselves as slaves.

“My staff is the best in the business and cannot be matched for quality. You are in safe hands.” Antoine snapped his fingers and four of the elves stepped forward, leaving their stations while the other two continued cutting and sewing.

“These four ladies are in need of evening gowns, something truly dazzling.”

As Antoine asked who would like to go first Ginny took a small step back, anything that might delay the inevitable and dreaded experience of putting on a dress. Her tactic seemed to have worked as Angelina and Hermione were selected first and hustled away by the house elves two apiece. As Ginny waited with growing anxiety she hardly paid attention to the conversation around her, only responding in the occasional nod whenever anyone glanced her way. It honestly seemed like no time at all before the girls returned, walking with purpose in their glamorous dresses. Ginny hardly noticed what they were wearing save the colour and basic cut, instead her eyes focused on the smiles gracing the two women’s faces. In them Ginny saw how powerful they felt as they swished their hips a little more and held their heads a touch higher.

“Beautiful, the fabric is so light and I adore that colour for your skin tone,” Fleur gushed as she took Hermione’s hand and looked over the dress closer. All Ginny could say about the colour was that it was cream, maybe even a beige, but despite the drab colour the way it fell in rippling waves reminded her of sand banks being hit by the sea. Angelina’s dress by comparison was a rich red and hugged her curvy body tightly. The hem was cut on a slant which in Ginny’s opinion added to the seductive vibe it gave off.

“I told you my workers were the best, now for you two ladies,” Antoine said and Ginny suddenly found her hand being taken by one of the elves as she was led into a smaller changing room. Standing in silence Ginny watched as a tape measure moved magically around her, checking the distance between her shoulders and then her height before moving on to her arms. As this was happening the elves were holding up swaths of fabric towards her, reds were quickly dismissed and instead they concentrated on greens and yellows. At least they were colors she was used to wearing from when she had played for the harpies. Finally the tape measure rattled closed and disappeared from sight and the elves, having selected their fabric, began discussing their ideas in rapid French.

Unable to follow along Ginny only grew more nervous as they gestured at her to remove her jacket. Gingerly she took it off to show the plain loose black t-shirt underneath and placed it on a nearby bench before shoving her hands deep into the pockets of her washed out jeans. The elves studied her for a moment more before snapping their fingers, and a familiar feeling of magic washed over her and her clothing melted away to be replaced with something else.

She knew before she looked down what she would see and sure enough, there were her breasts. Cupped in a fold of emerald green fabric, her chest seemed to almost defy gravity and stick out much more than she remembered them ever doing before. Closing her eyes for a second she wished for her baggy top back or a jumper, anything that would cover them again. While logically she knew that they were always there she had gotten into the habit of blocking out that fact and hid them by wearing sports bras and baggy tops. Before her children they had been smaller but had changed with each pregnancy just like the widening of her hips and there was no workout routine that could completely erase those things.

Arms wrapped across her chest she took a calming breath and peered over at the mirror hanging on the wall.

 _Wrong_ , her mind said as the band of black that clinched in her waist showed off the curves she didn’t want. As she shuddered and looked away again the skirt brushed over her knees. The sensation of being exposed that she felt in the strapless dress was sickening and she swallowed the saliva that had begun to pool in her mouth and focused on not falling over in the painfully high black heels that arched her feet.

It used to be easier, or maybe she just had been so desperate to fit in that she had been willing to dress up while in the public eye. Now it was rare for her to be seen outside a quidditch match as she spent more time sitting behind a desk where no one cared what she looked like. Cursing the stupid Ministry for its parties and Harry’s need to be there in her head she turned pleading eyes on the elves who were frowning worriedly up at her. Clearly they could see her unhappiness and didn’t know how to fix it, she wanted to tell them it wasn’t the dress but her that was wrong, but the words wouldn’t come and she didn’t think they would understand her anyway.

"Is everything alright ma cherie?" Antoine asked.

"Uh, yeah," Ginny answered as she cracked the door open slightly in an attempt to stay hidden.

"That nose of yours will grow if you tell fibs, mademoiselle Ginny." Unable to help it Ginny felt her nose crinkle at hearing one of the few words of french she knew.

"Oh, I see," Antoine said pressing on the door and letting himself into the changing room before pulling out his wand.

"Just tell me what needs to be changed."

Unsure of what was happening Ginny pointed down at the heels on her feet. She had almost tripped moving back for Antoine to enter.

“Um, could you make the heels a little smaller?”

In a second the shoes changed and the corner of her mouth curled up at the flat ballerina like slippers she wore.

“Thank you, and could you do something about the, uh this?"

Finding words difficult she waved her hand over her bare legs and chest area. Antoine nodded as he gave her a warm smile and once again flicked his wand as he muttered a spell. The skirt lengthened to her ankles and a short velveteen jacket appeared and buttoned under her chin. Suddenly Ginny could breathe again and her smile grew as she looked at the dress again. In truth she still wasn’t completely comfortable but it was as close as she was likely to get.

“Thank you, it’s perfect,” she said to Antonie and was glad that the elves earlier saddened expressions were gone as they smiled and bowed toward her.

Now to show the others and then she could change back into her old clothes that were neatly piled next to her jacket on the bench, Ginny thought and firming her spine she stepped out of the changing room.

“Oh, Gin. It’s lovely,” Hermione said as Audrey stopped in her spin. Her dress was peach and decorated by roses in a darker shade and Ginny stared at them rather than look down at her own dress as blood rose to her cheeks.

“Gorgeous, ma Cherie,” Antoine exclaimed as he appeared behind her, “All of you will turn heads at the gala.”

Ginny gave a nervous smile and hoped he was wrong, neither she nor Harry liked attention and usually only went to these things out of necessity and left as soon as possible.

Dressed once again in her comfortable clothing, the tension began to seep from her shoulders and her heart slowed until the beats were as regular as a ticking clock. In an attempt to be reasonable, Ginny reminded herself that it was only one evening and then it would be six months before she had to go through all this again for the summer festival. She also wondered what Antoine would say if he knew that his dress would end up shrunk and gifted to her daughter who would dance around the house in it imagining herself a princess. That thought brought a real smile to her lips helping to keep her calm and justified the galleons she handed over to pay for the dress.


	5. Chapter 5

Ginny looked around the lavishly decorated hall where the Christmas gala was being held. So far she had been here for two hours and that was two hours too long in her opinion. She smiled as another person complimented her dress and held out her hand to be shaken by one of the ambassadors, or was he a department head? It was hard to keep track of everyone here as many of them she only saw twice a year at these over the top celebrations.

Everyone here was wearing their best, the decorations blindingly bright and the sparking lights giving her a massive headache. Rubbing at her temple she moved closer to Harry’s side, using him as a shield from the other wives who would invite her to tea parties where they would eat dainty cakes and gossip about the women who weren’t there. Honestly she couldn’t stand it and had long held the belief that if you wouldn’t say it the person’s face then shut up. As Lady Barksdale caught Ginny’s eyes and began heading her way with a determined expression Ginny knew she was in trouble.

“You look lovely darling.”

“Thank you and you look great too,” Ginny offered with her politest smile.

“It really is a shame that the only time I see you is during these events however I’m hosting a little soiree in the New Year if you’re interested?”

Ginny’s smile grew stiff as she hurriedly tried to think of an excuse, before using her usual diversion tactic, "Oh, I’m afraid I’ll be busy in January. A new broom is scheduled to be released that promises to be a game changer in the world of quidditch. Did you know that there are currently only 3 points between the top two teams? I’m predicting that the Tornados will win but only if Eli Harding is playing otherwise the Wasps might just-”

“That’s very nice, please excuse me. I really must speak with Mrs Glassbrook.”

“I saw that,” Harry whispered into Ginny’s ear as she turned her small smirk in his direction.

“I don’t know what you mean, I was just making conversation.”

Harry shook as she chuckled beside her and Ginny felt some of her tension disappear at the familiar sound.

“Come on let's sneak out, I’ve had enough of this too.”

“Thank Merlin, my face is getting sore from smiling and my head hurts from the lights.”

“Not surprising, it is particularly glittery this year. We’ll say a quick goodbye to our friends and then head home before I get roped into another discussion about running for Minister or worse asked to make a speech,” Harry said with a groan.

Ginny squeezed his arm in a gesture of support and gave him a real smile, “We better hurry up then and make our escape.”

Stepping out of the floo Ginny headed straight upstairs without pausing and stripped off her dress with only a small amount of care. Her bra followed quickly behind it and she pulled on her favorite plain black t-shirt, the fabric softened by years of wear. A pair of hands slipped around her waist as a kiss was pressed to the base of her neck. Letting out a hum Ginny dropped her head to the side and leaned back into Harry’s body. 

“The Lily is at Molly’s until the morning and it’s still early,” Harry muttered and Ginny knew what he was really saying. Rather than speak she turned in his arms and draped her arms around his neck with a small smile. With only a few inches between their heights it wasn’t a challenge for Ginny to reach up and press her lips to Harry’s. The kiss wasn’t soft or hard but one shared between two people that are very familiar with each other, their movements and the flick of their tongues perfectly in sync from the thousands of times they had done this before. They didn’t need words anymore and with a twist Harry spun them and walked Ginny backwards towards their bed. One of his hands had lifted to tangle in her hair while the other hand rested on Ginny’s arse.

Breaking the kiss Ginny gulped in a lungful of air and licked her lips as she gazed up at her husband. In no rush she trailed a finger along Harry’s jaw, feeling the beginning of the stubble already growing even though he had only shaved that morning. It was a sharp contrast to her own smooth skin and she cupped his cheek to experience the prickle of it on her hand that sent a shiver down her spine. As she brushed her thumb over Harry’s cheek she used her other hand to undo another button of his shirt. The first one had already been opened and the tie and jacket he had been wearing discarded and she would probably find it draped over the sofa or haphazardly thrown at the laundry basket. 

With a few buttons now undone she was able to see patches of Harry’s chest, the scars that decorated it reminders of the war and she knew all the stories behind them. Using both hands now she finished taking Harry’s shirt off and then slid her hands over firm skin scattered with dark hair before she pressed a kiss to the mark on his chest where the horcrux had burned Harry before moving onto the jagged white lines near his shoulder. The result of a nasty hex Harry had taken a few years ago but it didn’t dampen her desire in the slightest.

As her hands began to tug at Harry’s trousers she kissed her way back up his neck and stole another kiss. She could taste the ale he had been drinking rather than the fancy champagne that had been on offer while she fought to unbutton his trousers at the same time. The fabric was stretched by his hard cock as it strained for release and Ginny was eager to get her hands on it.

This time Harry was the one to break the kiss with a sigh as his hip pressed forward and closer to Ginny and her hand that was now teasingly close.

“I need to take my potion,” Ginny whispered between them as she pushed down Harry’s trousers and he stepped out of them. With another kiss, this one a little rougher as desire mounted and the need to touch grew Ginny reluctantly pulled away and Harry let his hands drop as she walked quickly to their bathroom. It only took a minute for her to locate and gulp down the contraceptive potion but she could still taste the overly sweet concoction coating her tongue as she entered the bedroom again.

Harry in the meantime had striped down to his boxers and Ginny eyes lingered on the bulging fabric before rising to met Harry's. He opened his arms as she approached and Ginny closed her eyes expecting another kiss only to have him wrap his hands around her waist and fall backwards onto the bed. A small giggle escaped Ginny as she caught herself on her hands and looked down at Harry’s grinning face before she shifted to straddle his waist. Harry’s hands moved under her t-shirt, fingers digging in a little as they scratched down her back and she let out a low groan at how good it felt as her eyes fell closed. 

For a moment she just basked in the feeling of Harry under her, his still confined cock pressing up against her and the heat that seeped into her skin where they touched. Opening her eyes she locked eyes with Harry and reaching out took off his glasses to drop them on the pillow, removing another barrier between them before she leaned down and kissed him deeply. Her tongue slipped past his lips, drinking in the huffed breaths and soft hums between them. One of her hands moved upwards until it was buried in Harry’s thick hair, the curls wrapping around her fingers as if even they wanted to hold her closer. She wanted to be closer and when Harry’s hands dropped to cup her arse she began to rock her hips.

As her Skin grew slick with sweat and desire rose heating their bodies Ginny lowered her head and kissed Harry's neck between her ragged breaths. She could feel her pants growing damp from the friction which only made the action feel better and she pushed down a little harder.

“Fuck,” Ginny moaned as she broke the kiss and Harry lifted his hips slightly.

“Good idea,” Harry replied as he curled his fingers into the waistband of her pants, tugging them down slightly. It took a bit of maneuvering but eventually Ginny slipped them off completely, unhooking them from one of her ankles to drop them onto the bed while Harry finished kicking off his boxers. The moan that escaped her as she settled back down on Harry’s lap was involuntary as skin meet skin and the cock between her legs nestled between the wet lips of her sex. Reaching between them her hand curled around Harry’s cock and with each stroke the knuckle of her thumb rubbed over her clit sending jolts of bliss through her.

As her breathing grew heavier Ginny watched Harry’s mouth open as he panted before his teeth bit down into his lip to hold back the low groan that still slipped out. His hands were under her shirt and resting on the curve of her hip but he didn’t move them higher or attempt to remove her shirt. It wasn’t something they had discussed in any depth but an unspoken understanding that had developed when Ginny had become pregnant with James. Simply that Ginny preferred to keep a top on whenever they were intimate or sleeping, however, even before then Ginny had shown discomfort at Harry touching her chest and picking up on that Harry had naturally avoided doing so. Therefore as Ginny ground down on Harry while stroking what she could reach Harry kept his hands on her hips or lower.

As they both grew more aroused one of Harry’s hands trailed down to grasp at her thigh. The slight pinch of skin just painful enough to be pleasurable and unable to wait Ginny lifted herself up and angled Harry’s cock towards her opening. Her eyes dropped closed as she felt herself being slightly stretched as she sunk onto Harry’s cock. With her back straight and her hands pressed to Harry’s chest she could feel his heart pounding beneath her palm. Usually they would take more time teasing each other, fingers and mouths used to heighten their desires but tonight Ginny wanted things a bit rougher.

She had played the pretty wife, her arm looped over Harrys as they moved from group to group exchanging mostly meaningless small talk and now Ginny wanted to forget about it all. Harry’s cock buried deeper inside her as his hand grasped the back of her neck and pulled her into a kiss pushed away all the discomfort she felt. At this moment she felt perfect, joined with the man she loved and gasping into his mouth as they messily kissed. Lost in the moment she lifted her hips before pressing them back down and fucked herself on Harry’s cock.

This wasn’t soft or gentle but full of passion and lust as Harry bent his knees and thrust upward as she moved downward. The closer they got to coming the more difficult it was to keep kissing and giving up on that Ginny dropped her head onto Harry’s shoulder, occasionally she would press a kiss to the heated skin or nip at it between her gasps for air. She could feel her orgasm building and knew that it would take only the right touch to push over the edge.

After placing one last kiss on Harry’s neck she sat back up and bit back a whine as his cock sunk deeper into her. Their pacing was getting messy as Harry’s speed increased and she struggled to keep up while so close to reaching her peak. Harry’s thumb circling her clit was exactly what she needed and holding her breath she threw her head back as the dam broke and her muscles contracted drowning her in waves of pure pleasure that finished with a shiver racing down her spine and her gasping for breath. From the grunt Harry made and his now still hips it was clear he had also managed to find his release and as she moved to drop onto her side next to Harry she felt the wet trail on her inner thigh as Harry’s cock slipped out of her. A hand took hers and she smiled as Harry lifted it to his lips and kissed her knuckles, as they both lay together and waited for their heart rates to return to normal and the lingering aftershocks of their orgasms to ebb.

She yawned as magic danced over her skin, removing the layer of sweat from her skin and the dampness from between her legs.

“Thanks,” she muttered to Harry before wiggling closer to him and dropping a kiss onto his shoulder before resting her forehead against the still overly warm flesh.

“No problem,” Harry answered as he reached over to cup her cheek and turned his head to kiss her forehead. Aware that she would fall asleep soon Ginny nudged Harry into moving so that they could climb under the covers and after exchanging a few sweet kisses and goodnights they fell asleep cuddled together.


	6. Chapter 6

The only way to describe the scene before Ginny was pandemonium as she took in the large group of people currently being squeezed into the burrow. The boys had all banded together and were busy laughing loudly in one corner of the sitting room. Albus was currently telling Hugo about his first term at Hogwarts while James continued to tease him about being a slimy snake. Thankfully Harry was already looking over at them and the look he gave James soon had their eldest holding his tongue.

The girls on the other hand had taken over the sofa, pressed tightly together as they gossiped in whispers with occasional fits of giggles. Taking a step forward Ginny listened in a little closer and once it became clear they were discussing a muggle boy band she shook her head quickly and backed away. She was perfectly content in not knowing which one her daughter thought was the cutest and instead walked over to Teddy. He had found a space next to the Christmas tree that was perhaps a tad too big for the room and was deep in a discussion with Bill even if his eyes kept drifting to Bill's daughter Victoria. Sitting beside Fleur they made a striking pair as they spoke to Hermione about her latest equal rights campaign for the Ministry.

“Hey guys,” Ginny said as she joined Teddy and Bill, only slightly irked that she had to look up at both of them even if it was only a few inches.

“Hey, how are things?” Teddy asked as Bill raised his glass toward her in greeting before taking a gulp.

“Not bad though I didn’t realise how much quieter things were with the boys at school. If James and Albus keep fighting I’ll be sending them both back before the end of break.”

Teddy chuckled and reaching out patted her shoulder, “I would have thought you were used to them bickering by now.”

“They’re brothers, winding each other up is just how they show affection,” Bill added with a smirk.

“I don’t remember you having that attitude when we were growing up. How many times did you say you hated Charlie and his stupid dragon obsession?”

“He knows I didn’t mean it and speaking of Charlie I need to ask him if he’s tanned or just burnt.”

Chuckling Ginny shook her head as he stepped away and watched to see Charlie’s expression of irritation as he gave Bill a shove.

“Some things never change,” Ginny said softly as she observed all her brothers good-natured teasing, aware of the bond they shared and she would never be a part of.

Pushing aside that dark thought she focused back on Teddy, “So how’s your second year in healer training going? Are you beginning to regret not joining the Aurors?”

“Nope, I still don’t regret it. I really want to help people and this is the best way for me to do that. Second year is a little tougher but I think I’m managing to stay on top of the workload. My supervisor is really impressed with me and believes I will be the top intern next year when we begin working with patients,” Teddy stated and Ginny felt proud of the young man he had become.

While he had lived with his grandmother, she had always seen him as her and Harry’s first child. Harry had taken him to his first quidditch match when he was just five to see Ginny play and she still claimed that she always flew better knowing he was in the crowd cheering her on.

“That’s brilliant and have you decided on where you want to specialize?”

“Not yet,” Teddy admitted shyly as he ruffled his hair, a nervous gesture he had picked up from Harry.

“There’s no rush and I’m sure whatever you pick you’ll succeed in,” Ginny reassured confident in her belief even if Teddy wasn’t.

“I’ll certainly try,” he promised as his hair turned from turquoise to ginger. A habit he had developed as a child whenever he spoke to one of the Weasley’s. As his hair changed back to the blue he preferred and his eyes switched from blue to brown Ginny felt a flair of envy. She had felt the same way after meeting Tonks and had spent a fair amount of time wondering what it would be like if she could alter her appearance. She didn’t want a smaller nose or to remove the freckles from her cheeks, rather she wanted to sharpen her jaw line and thicken her eyebrows so that she would be able to blend in with her siblings and look just like one of them.

However with age came wisdom and by the time she was 15 such an idea had become a pointless fantasy and she reminded herself of that as she pushed down her jealousy over Teddy’s gift.

“Do you have a new roommate yet?” Ginny asked to change the subject and redirect her thoughts. Teddy had moved into a small flat in London at the beginning of the year after staying with them following Andromeda’s death the year before. Her health had been poor for years and all of them had helped out as much as possible but losing her husband, daughter and son in law had taken its toll.

“Um, yeah I have. He was in my house at Hogwarts but a year behind me and we get along really well. He’s working a muggle job at the moment but hopes to join the Aurors next year.”

“Really? Well I’m sure if you ask Harry he would be happy to give your roommate some pointers.”

“Great idea, I’ll talk to Harry later about it. Now if you’ll excuse me the mistletoe is headed for my girlfriend,” Teddy said as he wiggled his eyebrows.

“Go on. Kids these days,” Ginny teased but knew that when it found her and Harry they would end up sharing a kiss too, much to the disgust of her kids. Thinking of them she gazed around the room and noticed Albus had broken away from the group and was slumped in the corner fiddling with a scrap of tinsel.

With a soft smile Ginny made her way over to her son and ruffled his black curls as she leaned against the wall, deciding not to mention the mess he was making by pulling apart the glittery decoration in his hands.

“What’s the matter Al?”

“I don’t fit in,” Albus muttered as he side eyed the others. For a moment Ginny felt her chest lurch at his words and the sad tone with which they had been spoken. It was a statement she was far too familiar with and for a second she worried that Albus would suffer the same way she did with that particular sensation.

“What do you mean?”

“I’m the only Slytherin in the whole family and even though James is the only one who brings it up I know the others are all thinking it. None of them talk to me very much at school because they don’t want my evilness to rub off on them.”

Ginny frowned down at Albus as she began planning the conversation she would be having with James once they returned home.

“You are not evil and neither are Slytherins in general. That sort of discrimination causes wars and I would hope your brother and cousins would know better than to hold those sorts of prejudices.”

“I know that and maybe I’m just overthinking things but I just feel like they are all pulling away from me.”

Ginny tugged Albus closer and hugged him close to her side not wanting to embarrass him with a larger display of affection.

“Let me ask you a question, do you think you fit in Slytherin? Does it make you feel wrong to be with your housemates?”

Albus looked up at her as his eyebrows drew together in a frown of concentration.

“No. I like the friends I’ve made especially Scorpius regardless of what they say about him and I like being in Slytherin. It fits, if you know what I mean.”

“I do,” Ginny lied, “you were put into the house where you belong. There is nothing wrong with being a Slytherin or being you Albus and you shouldn’t let anyone make you feel that you don’t fit. You and James are brothers but that doesn’t mean you have to be the same.”

Ginny leaned down so that her mouth was level with Albus’s ear and whispered, “Don’t forget your Dad was almost sorted into Slytherin and it’s those parts of him that you share. You are ambitious. You are adaptable and when there is need for it you are cunning. These are things you should be proud of Al.”

“I’ll try to be, thanks Mum,” Albus said gently with a crooked smile before heading back over to the other boys with his head held high.

“Care to tell me what that was about?”

Ginny turned to meet Harry’s inquisitive expression and shrugged her shoulders as she answered.

“Albus is still struggling with his house but we knew he would. “

“Ah,” Harry replied as he slipped a hand behind her back and placed his hand on her hip. “I did overhear James earlier. We might need to have another talk with him.”

“I agree but it can wait until tomorrow. For today I just want to have a nice family Christmas without any drama.”

Harry let out a chuckle as he raised an eyebrow at her wish, “I think your expectations are too high. Family and drama tend to go hand in hand together.”

Ginny let out a sigh of resigned agreement and let her head rest on Harry’s shoulder.

“Probably but Christmas is meant to be a time of miracles so I’ll continue to hold onto my unrealistic hope.”

“Dinner is ready, everyone,” Molly called from the kitchen.

“Come on, let’s go and eat until we can’t move,” Harry said as he guided her away from the wall.

“Sounds good,” she replied with a smile. She was looking forward to her mother’s amazing cooking but also just enjoying the company of her whole family.

*** 

The next day when James finally came downstairs, yawning and trying to flatten his hair Ginny and Harry were ready to have a discussion with him.

“Al, can you and Lily go and play in the living room please,” Harry said firmly. Albus shot a frightened look at James who was glaring daggers at him before quickly jumping down from the table and grabbing Lily’s hand.

“Come on,” Albus whispered as he tugged her out of the room.

“What did the little snake tell you?” James asked as he took a seat opposite Ginny and pulled the plate set out for him closer.

“Albus hasn’t told us anything, but you can believe I will be asking him some questions after hearing that,” Ginny said as she took a seat opposite James and noticed how he was staring at the table rather than meet her eyes.

“I haven’t done anything, he’s just a baby.”

Ginny leaned forward and rapped her knuckles on the table which made James look up at her.

“I beg to differ. I know you’re only teasing him when you call him a snake but the joke isn’t funny anymore.”

“It’s just a nickname, and he knows that.”

Ginny looked up at Harry and they shared a look of mutual understanding over James' denial of his actions. Turning back to her eldest son she decided to try a different approach to the situation.

“Are you sure he knows that?” Ginny asked as she leaned back in her chair and locked eyes with James. Her son shifted in his seat, clearly uncomfortable with the question.

“He told me that you and his cousins don’t talk to him. He feels like he’s done something wrong by being sorted into Slytherin and that is only because of you,” Ginny stated and watched as James' attitude slipped away and he swallowed nervously.

“He is a Slytherin but first and foremost he is your little brother. You might think it's fun to call him a snake and with the rivalry between the houses at Hogwarts something that is expected of you. However, it’s bullying, plain and simple and we raised you better than that.”

“Oh come on. It’s not like I’m beating him up or something, it’s just a stupid joke.”

"That doesn't mean that it hurts any less and sometimes words can be far more damaging. I was called everything from the heir of slytherin to a madman during my time at school. It gets into your head and unlike a bruise doesn't always heal. You're making him feel bad for being who he is and that’s not fair James,” Harry said speaking up and Ginny felt his hand grip the back of her chair. “If anyone else hurt Albus or Lily you would be the first person to jump to their defense because that is the type of person you are. It’s all well and good to tease each other occasionally but you have to be careful not to cross the line.”

“Do you understand?” Ginny asked as James remained silent and tore apart the piece of toast on his plate.

“Yeah, I didn’t think it was bothering him that much but I still don’t want to hang out with him when he’s with his snake friends.”

“Then don’t, but don’t push him away either. He needs to know you're there for him and still his brother.”

“Alright,” James muttered before taking a bite of his breakfast.

“Thank you James, Albus is very lucky to have such an amazing brother,” said Harry and after squeezing Ginny’s shoulder headed off to find Albus and Lily.

“Was he really upset?”

Ginny could hear the underlying concern in James’ tone and even a trace of guilt.

“Yes he was and I think he cares a lot more about your opinion than you think, he looks up to you” Ginny began and seeing James expression drop even further quickly added, “He’ll be alright and so will you so don’t worry about it too much. Just promise me that you’ll be a bit nicer to him at school.”

“Sure thing, Mum,” James said and looking slightly more relaxed he snatched up his fork and started eating his eggs on toast.


	7. Chapter 7

Ginny shifted the box of donuts she was carrying, holding it under one arm as she rapped on the door to Teddy’s flat. She hadn’t seen him for a few weeks since the New Year's eve party they held at Grimmauld place as Teddy had cancelled his usual Wednesday dinners with her and Harry because he was swamped studying for an upcoming test. Therefore, since she had finished work earlier than normal today she decided to bring him a sugary treat and check in on him. Slowly the door began to open and Ginny smiled at Teddy who looked shocked to see her.

“I wasn’t expecting you,” he said even as he reached out to hug her. Careful not to crush or drop the donuts Ginny wrapped her free arm around his neck.

“I know but I figured you could use a little break from studying and I even brought a snack. I know how focused you can get and wanted to make sure you weren’t running yourself into the ground.”

Teddy let out a chuckle as he ran a hand through his hair and nodded in agreement.

“Yeah, I know. I promise I’ve been taking breaks. Um, come in,” Teddy said a little nervously and Ginny frowned as she stepped inside shooting a side glance at him.

“Everything ok?”

“What? Oh, no it’s fine just that I’m expecting my roommate back soon. I thought you were him at first and that he had forgotten his key or something.”

“Should I be worried? He’s not a rabid fan or a weirdo or something is he?”

“No nothing like that thought he certainly shares your love of quidditch and would probably talk your ear off about player statistics.”

“That doesn’t sound bad at all and I’d enjoy discussing quidditch with someone who knows all the nitty gritty details. Harry’s not bad but his love is just for the game rather than the numbers and ratings.”

Now inside Teddy’s flat Ginny looked around picking up on the small changes since her last visit. There was a hoodie draped on the back of the sofa that was too small to belong to Teddy and a few more posters displayed on the walls, mostly of muggle action heroes or quidditch players who were charmed to move. The whole thing was open planned with a kitchenette to the right that filled one corner and was separated by only one low wall from the rest of the room. Heading that way she placed the box down on the small table in the center of the kitchen and then flicked on the kettle. With a tilt of her head she picked up the two different brands of coffee and turned to show them to Teddy.

“Different tastes, at least he isn’t a tea drinker,” she joked.

“Yeah, but we have lots in common and he’s much better than my last roommate,” Teddy stated as he reached past Ginny to collect two mugs from the cupboard by her head.

Stepping away and leaving Teddy to finish making their drinks she took a seat and recalled Teddy’s old roommate. Orson had seemed nice enough but it was clear that he wasn’t interested in getting his head down and Teddy’s academic pursuits had suffered due to his roommate’s continual parties and girlfriend drama. In the end Teddy had given the guy an ultimatum to either stop the parties or move out. Thankfully Orson had decided to move in with his newest girl and hadn’t given Teddy too much grief before packing up his things.

“I’m glad to hear that, so what’s his name?”

“Oh, it’s Jake,” Teddy said as he finished pouring the boiling water and then gave the cups a quick stir before bringing them over. Ginny wrapped her hands around her cup and felt the warmth chase the chill from her hands caused by the bitter English weather.

“I hope I get to meet him, he sounds like a cool guy. Do people still use the word cool or am I showing my age?” she asked after taking a sip of her drink that had been made perfectly.

“We still use cool or I do and you’re not that old yet,” Teddy teased as he reached out and opened the box. His hand hovered for a moment over the colourful iced rings before selecting one with pink icing and sprinkles.

“Are these from the place down the street?”

“Yep, saw them in the window and they looked too good to pass up.”

Reaching out Ginny helped herself to a donut with chocolate icing and took a large bite. The soft dough almost melted in her mouth as she got a hit of rich sweet chocolate from the icing and unable to help it she gave a hum of enjoyment.

“Merlin that’s good,” she said after swallowing and quickly took a second bite.

“They really are. In fact I’m sure I’ve spent most of my wages from training on their baked goods.”

“Worth it. I might have to visit more often just to try their other treats.”

Teddy laughed as he agreed and suggested they save one of the donuts for Ginny to take home to Harry.

“If there are any left then I will,” she promised and was about to ask about the exam he was studying for when she heard the scrap of a key being placed into a lock behind her.

“Hey Ted, I’m back,” an unexpectedly high voice called as the door opened. In response Ginny spun in her seat and came face to face with someone dressed in a loose hoodie and jeans with a black beanie over their warm brown hair. It was hard to tell they were female but the soft features of her face were unmistakably feminine.

“Oh, hi Jake. Um I’ve got my godmother visiting. Ginny, this is Jake, my roommate. Jake, this is Ginny.”

“Hi,” Jake said nervously, “you were an amazing chaser, one of the top female players when it came to scoring goals.”

Ginny didn’t reply to that but turned back to Teddy with a frown of confusion, “I thought your roommate was a guy, you kept calling them a he?”

At this Teddy firmed his expression and rather than look embarrassed seemed almost irritated.

“He is a guy and he is also standing right behind you.”

Surprised to be called out for her bad manners but still puzzled by what was going on she looked back at Jake who was now chewing on their lip and was staring at the floor.

“I’m just gonna go to my room, it was nice to meet you. Ted is always talking about his family and how brilliant they are.”

Before Jake could take another step Ginny was on her feet and moved to stand in front of him.

“Please, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to be rude but I guess I’m a bit lost here.”

“Yeah, I hear that a lot when people first met me,” Jake shrugged but it was clear he still wasn’t comfortable.

“Teddy said you were interested in quidditch and know a ton about it.”

“I do, I’m obsessed with it. I read your article yesterday about the new broom. The skyskim sounds like it’s gonna be the broom all the professionals will be using this season.”

“The seekers and the chasers certainly, but the keepers would be better off sticking with the Firebolt elite. It’s more than fast enough while it’s heavier wood will keep it steadier.”

“True, you did mention that. Did you honestly almost fall off when you took it for a test run?”

Ginny laughed at Jake's question glad that he seemed to have relaxed and was no longer slouching his shoulders.

“I did, that thing can move and the breaks are sharp as hell. For dives it’s gonna let seekers hold off even longer before pulling up and potentially ruin the wronski feint but I also expect a lot of injuries in the beginning as people try and push it too far. It always happens, and it’s usually the more experienced players because they are too confident in their abilities.”

Really? I didn’t know that,” Jake said with a tilt of his head and a sweet smile.

“Come and grab a donut and join us. I really am sorry if I upset you.”

“It's fine, I knew you weren’t being transphobic or anything like that,” Jake said as he settled into a chair between Ginny and Teddy. Glancing over the table Ginny caught Teddy’s eye and saw him mouth the words thank you.

“I have no idea what that word means and I don’t want to put my foot in it again but I do have some questions if you’re alright answering them?”

Ginny's work required her to have keen interview skills and she used what she had learned through that to be careful with how she phased her request.

“I don’t mind people asking questions. It feels good to help people understand as long as they are willing to listen. So I guess the big question is why I look like this if I’m a guy?”

“Well yes, is it the result of a potion or spell?” Ginny couldn’t help studying Jake, taking notice of the way he was sat and the bitten nails on his hand as he reached out and took a donut, chocolate like the one she had picked.

“I wish it was that simple but actually I’m trans,” at Ginny’s clear confusion he continued, “Transgender. We used to be called transsexual or transvestites but most people use transgender now."

"I'm afraid I don't know what any of those terms mean," Ginny admitted feeling both a little stupid and old.

"Let me make a coffee and I’ll give you the basic run down of Trans 101.”

Ginny nodded mutely and considered telling Jake that it was fine if she was being too nosy but he seemed to be more comfortable than when he had first walked in. Even though Ginny didn’t know much about any of this she got the feeling that people might have reacted much worse than she did. It was possible that Jake’s nerves had been the result of fear and a lump formed in her throat that she had caused him to feel that.

“Ok,” Jake said as he sat back down, now with his own coffee in a Falmouth Falcon’s mug, “A trans person is someone whose gender doesn’t match up with their birth sex. To clear things up sex is what parts you are born with and gender is what your brain says. This is the simplified version but that’s the base of it. Now for me I was born female but in here,” Jake said tapping a finger to the side of his head, “I’m male. As you can probably imagine this caused some issues, mentally mostly. I just didn’t fit.”

“Yeah, I can imagine,” Ginny whispered as her mind began to spin at Jake’s choice of words. Dread and hope battled inside but she now needed to know more even as her chest grew tight with anxiety.

“So growing up I kept telling people I was a boy but they wouldn’t listen, told me it was a phase or that I was just a bit boyish but I knew they were wrong. Still I tried to fix myself by doing what people expected me to, I had long hair and wore dresses but it felt wrong y’know?”

Ginny did know and now her heart was pounding against her ribs so hard that she wondered if it might burst out of her chest. She looked to Teddy and found him already looking at her, his brow pulled low in concentration as his eyes roamed her face. She was sure that the panic she was experiencing wasn’t visible in her expression but it’s possible that Teddy would still know: he had always been good at reading people.

“So, how can you make that feeling of wrongness go away?” she asked, facing Jake as she leaned forward in her chair.

“There are lots of different ways, for muggles they tend to use hormone therapy or surgeries to change how they look and certain body parts, some don’t or only do one or the other. For us it’s both easier and harder.”

“What do you mean?” Ginny couldn’t hold back her question and Jake looked at her harder before continuing.

“There are potions that can change your sex to match your gender but because there isn’t a large demand for them they are super expensive and you can only get them with your parents consent unless you’re over seventeen. They have to be taken once a month for three years but at the end it’s as if you were born that sex.”

“Wow,” Ginny whispered as she began to imagine what would happen if she took those potions.

“Are you taking them?”

“I’ve just started and only four months in so not much has changed yet but over time my voice will get deeper and I’ll start growing facial hair. It’s actually thanks to Teddy that I’ve even gotten this far.”

Ginny glanced over at her godson and raised an eyebrow silently asking for an explanation.

“I just lent him a bit of money to get things started.”

“You did more than that mate; you let me move in and are covering the costs for my transition. Don’t worry I’m gonna pay him it all back,” Jake quickly added and Ginny knew that he was being sincere. Keeping her eyes on Teddy she felt a smile stretch over her face and her eyes grow a little damp. She didn’t think Teddy could ever be more amazing but here he was proving just how wonderfully kind he was.

“That’s lovely. Teddy has always been a sweetheart and I’m glad to see that hasn’t changed in the slightest.”

“You’re pretty great too, my parents flipped out when I told them I wanted to change my sex and refused to pay for the treatments. When I turned seventeen and said I was going to do it they kicked me out.”

Ginny clenched her jaw, she couldn’t fathom the idea of any parent turning their back on their child, not for any reason and certainly not something they couldn’t control.

“I honestly wasn’t sure what to do but Molly sent me to Teddy who took me in without a second thought,” Jake finished and Ginny forgot her anger to smile. Of course Jake would know Percy's daughter Molly and likely her sister Lucy too since they were all hufflepuffs.

“You’re friends with Molly?”

“More than friends,” Teddy said as he nudged Jake in the side who scowled over at him even as his cheeks went red.

“Oh,” Ginny said, not shocked but curious how that happened. “You two are dating.”

“Yeah, I was tutoring her in transfiguration and then we started hanging out more. It was because of a joke that I made about the class name that I accidentally came out to her and from that told her about my plans to transition. She was super understanding and nice about the whole thing. I kinda fell head over heels for her after that and then when I was in my last year at Hogwarts I plucked up the courage to ask her out. I still can’t really believe she said yes.”

“I can, you seem like a very charming young man,” Ginny said and meant every word. She might only have just met Jake but already she felt like she knew what sort of person he was.

“Thanks, still we decided to keep it low-key until after my transition is over. I want her parents to meet and see the real me and I want her to be sure that I’m still the person she wants.”

Ginny could understand Jake’s concerns but having known Molly since she was a baby she knew that once she had made up her mind there was very little chance of changing it.

“Percy can be a bit of a stick in the mud but as long as you are respectful and have a plan for your future he’s pretty relaxed about stuff now. As for Audrey she’s really friendly and very open minded which is probably where Molly gets it from.”

“Molly is amazing,” Jake said quietly, his cheeks growing even redder.

“Aww, you’re such a smitten kitten,” Teddy teased as he reached over and tickled Jakes side making him squeal.

“Knock it off you wanker,” Jake gasped as he pressed his arms close to his sides to protect them. In a second he had stopped laughing and was gazing at Ginny wide eyed as he mumbled out an apology for his bad language.

Ginny just waved off his apology, “I grew up with six brothers; trust me when I say I’ve heard worse. Harry said I used to swear like a sailor whenever I lost a match.”

“It’s true, Harry was always very quick to cover my ears when Ginny lost,” Teddy teased and Ginny glared at him before pinching another donut out of the box.

For the next few hours they sat around the little kitchen table and talked about everything from Teddy’s exams to Jake’s dream to be an Auror one day and it was with a small amount of regret that Ginny had to say goodbye knowing that it was getting late and she needed to head home.

“It was great meeting you and you’re welcome to join Teddy when he comes for dinner on Wednesday.”

“I’ll think about it. You lot are serious fam goals with how tight you are with each other.”

“Fam goals?” Ginny repeated, “Can I have that in old English.”

“It just means he would really like to have a family like ours where everyone is really close,” Teddy explained returning from a trip to his room. In his hands was a book that he passed to Ginny before pulling her into a hug.

“Just in case you wanted to learn a bit more,” he whispered and Ginny lifted the book to peer at the cover over his shoulder. There was a picture of three black boxes with male, female and I don’t know written beside them, in the first and second box were the faded remains of a tick and a much darker tick in the final box with the title underneath.

_Moving boxes, a guild for the unsure._

“Thanks,” Ginny said with an almost shy smile as Teddy released her and she shrunk the book down so that it would fit easily into the pocket of her jacket.

“See you on Wednesday Teddy and take care Jake.” Stepping outside the door she checked around her for any witnesses before disapparating to the steps of Grimmauld place.


	8. Chapter 8

_Am I trans?_

_Am I just confused?_

_How do I know the truth?_

The thoughts continued to loop in her head for the hundredth time in the last two months since her visit to Teddy’s flat and the conversation that had changed her life, but still she didn’t have an answer. She had read the book Teddy gave her back to front several times and had even bought more in an effort to remove some of her confusion. She had read multiple accounts from trans men that mirrored her own behaviors and feelings throughout childhood and well into adulthood.

She could remember when she was five and had cried when her mum put her in dresses. She could remember the years of jealousy and envy as she watched her brothers grow. She could even clearly recall the fear that had filled her after her first period and the burning desire to rip her insides out just to make it stop and how it had taken years for her to just accept them as a recurring illness without a cure. She remembered thinking of her body as alien during each pregnancy, like it had stopped being hers for that period of time but still she had put on a smile and thought only of holding her child. However, just when she thought that she had it figured out another piece would be uncovered and send her right back to square one.

Surely she would have known earlier, her feelings would have been clearer and even though her conversation with Jake had felt like someone throwing her a life line, could she be sure that they were the same? There were reasons why people might think they were trans only to discover they were wrong, such as trauma or because they were confused by their sexuality.

Ginny could confidently say that she wasn’t hiding any sexual attraction to women with her desire to be male, if anything it was the opposite. She felt like she should act more feminine when in sexual situations because that’s how things worked between straight couples usually. She could also rule out trauma as a factor because regardless of her possession by Voldemort she had felt wrong long before that occurred even if she didn’t have a name for it then. Did she have a name for it now? Was the wrongness really gender dysphoria or did she just have a desire not to conform to the role society wanted her to play? Maybe she was grasping at this just because she wanted to find a solution and was in fact desperate to find one. Perhaps…

“Hmm,” Ginny hummed as she looked up at Harry stood before the oven stirring something that smelled amazing while he stared hard at her.

“I said, “Are you okay?” You’ve been a bit spacey recently.”

“Oh, it’s nothing. Sorry if I’ve been distant,” Ginny said with a smile as she climbed to her feet and stepped behind Harry, resting her cheek on his shoulder.

“It’s just a bit worrying. I can’t remember you ever being this quiet. You’re not getting sick are you?”

“No,” Ginny mumbled as the sharp scent of tomatoes hit her nose and she glanced into the pot to see the rich red sauce swirl in the saucepan. It was Wednesday and Teddy would be over soon - Lily was at present waiting in the hallway ready to jump at her cousin the moment he arrived. Jake still hadn’t visited and from the brief discussion she had managed to have with Teddy out of earshot of the rest of her family it was because he wasn’t comfortable having to explain himself to people. Ginny could respect his reasons and hadn’t been to see him either as she battled her own insecurities and worries.

“Teddy bear!”

Ginny smiled at her daughter’s loud cry and pulling back from Harry she waited for Teddy to enter with Lily by his side.

“Hey guys.”

“Hi,” Ginny said along with Harry before glancing away from Teddy’s eyes. Each time he had visited he had been watching her closely and she wondered if he had managed to become such an accomplished legilimens that he could read her mind without her knowing. She honestly hoped not because her head was a complete mess and she didn’t have a clue how to deal with it.

“How’s Jake?”

“He’s good but busy; he’s picked up a few more shifts at work recently.”

“Is that true or is he too shy to come over? I really would like to meet this new friend of yours; Ginny told me he’s interested in joining the Aurors.”

“He is but not yet, and no offence but meeting the defeater of the dark lord is a bit daunting for most people.”

Harry rolled his eyes and returned his attention to dinner as he checked the pasta bubbling away beside the bolognese sauce. With a nod he then nudged Ginny away a little more with his hip so that he could open the oven door and a whiff of garlic filled the room making Ginny’s mouth water.

“That smells delicious,” Ginny said as Harry pulled out a tray of crisp garlic bread.

“It’s also done. Can you grab the plates and I’ll dish it up?” Harry asked and while Ginny collected the plates Lily tugged Teddy into a seat and sat beside him. She could just hear Lily talking excitedly about the letter Albus had sent her that arrived yesterday as she handed Harry the plates and then opened the drawer to get their cutlery.

“He’s really happy and says that Slytherins aren’t scary at all no matter what James says.”

“That’s good to hear. Does this mean you want to be in Slytherin when you go to Hogwarts in a few years?” Teddy asked, giving Ginny a smile when she placed a plate before him.

“I’m not sure. It would be nice to be with Albus or in Gryffindor with James but I’m not sure I would fit in with them. James can be really loud and rude sometimes and Albus probably wouldn’t want me bothering him.”

“Albus loves you; I doubt he would be upset if you were sorted into his house. He might even like having some company,” Harry pointed out as he took his seat opposite Lily and shared a look with Ginny beside him.

“Yeah, I guess but snakes are kinda gross,” Lily countered, her tiny nose crinkling in disgust which made them all laugh.

“Snakes aren’t so bad.”

“Says the guy that used to talk to them, personally I’m with Lily on this one,” Ginny stated before taking a bite of her food. The well seasoned, creamy sauce coated her tongue smoothly while the pasta had just a hint of bite to it that balanced out the dish wonderfully and she silently thanked Merlin for Harry’s cooking skills. She wasn’t sure where his enjoyment of cooking came from, if it was the ability to have control over what he ate or simply the desire to eat something edible which her attempts rarely were but she was grateful either way.

“Where do you think I would fit?” Lily asked, breaking through Ginny’s internal appreciation.

“I think you’re gonna be a Puff like I was,” Teddy guessed knocking his shoulder lightly against Lily’s.

“I have to agree, I think Hufflepuff suits you,” Harry said and Lily smiled as she looked at Ginny waiting for her answer. Keeping her gaze on her daughter Ginny considered the choices before throwing them all aside.

“I think you should be in whichever house you want to be in. Wherever you will be comfortable and happy. Other than that it doesn’t really matter.”

Glancing at Teddy she saw the pointed look he was giving her but chose to ignore it, focusing back on Lily and giving her a soft smile.

“That sounds smart mum. Ok, I’ll do that and I think I’d like to be a Hufflepuff. I bet they are all super friendly there, just like me.”

“They are,” Teddy promised. After that silence descended as they all enjoyed their meal and it remained that way until they pushed away their empty plates with their stomachs full.

“That was great Harry; I don’t usually bother cooking much since it’s just me and Jake.”

“It’s no problem but thank you,” Harry said as he collected up the plates and headed to the sink. However Ginny jumped up and took the plates from him, pressing a kiss to his cheek in the process.

“You cooked, I’ll clean.”

“Alright,” Harry said before clapping his hands together and looking over at Teddy and Lily, “So, who’s up for a game of exploding snap?”

“Oh, I am,” Lily said, jumping up from her chair and rushing away to get the pack of cards.

“I guess I don’t get a say,” Teddy joked good naturedly.

“Nope,” Ginny replied as she filled the sink with a flick of her wand and set a spell to begin scrubbing the dishes before hitting the table with a cleaning charm. Grabbing a tea towel she began picking up and drying the now dripping plates, pots and cutlery as they floated from the sink onto the drying rack.

“Let me help with that,” Teddy offered and without waiting for an answer picked up another cloth and began wiping dry a plate.

“You don’t have to help.”

“I know,” Teddy answered and knowing that he would anyway Ginny didn’t bother trying to stop him. By the time they were done and had everything put back away in drawers and cupboards Lily had returned and Harry had finished shuffling and dealing out the cards. Taking their seats once more they played two games, with Harry losing both times and teasingly accusing them of cheating somehow before they moved into the front room.

“You get your exam results this week, right?” Ginny asked Teddy as she curled into Harry’s side on the sofa.

“Yeah, Friday, and I’m kinda nervous. I think I did well but I’m beginning to worry.”

“I’m sure it will be fine. You are always so hard on yourself.”

Ginny could only second Harry’s statement but knew that it wasn’t that simple to stop worrying. Her own over thinking had left her exhausted and kept her up most nights as she fought with a sense of guilt for failing to embrace her gender. Why couldn’t she be content just being a strong woman, did she really need to throw that away or change that part of herself to be happier? It was with no small amount of shame that she had to admit that the answer was leaning towards yes. In the small moments when she allowed herself to be completely honest with her feelings she feared that she had left things too late, that at this time in her life it wouldn't be possible to change things. Of course with that came the worries and more guilt over what effect it would have on her family if she spoke up.

Was she being selfish? They would be dragged along with her if she decided to take action and that wasn’t fair on them. How could she ask more of Harry than what he had already given her and the rest of the world? To request that he still love her if she became someone different: a man. This wasn’t something she would be able to hide and her children would bear the brunt of transphobic slurs from their classmates and the media. Would they hate her? Would Lily be hurt watching the mother that looked so much like her turn into a stranger? Would James and Albus reject her for wanting the sex they had been born as? She needed to be sure, needed to remove every single doubt from her mind before even considering putting her family through that. However that was impossible because there was no way to know. Either she was trans or she had to make peace with her sex and, while she didn’t have to listen to people that spoke of a woman’s place, it would continue to be used against her. Could she live with that and the wrongness that seemed to have grown larger so that-

“Gin.”

Ginny’s head snapped up at the sound of her name and she wondered how long she had zoned out for this time.

“Are you alright Mum?” Lily asked, rising from her seat beside Teddy to perch on the armrest and look at Ginny more closely.

“Of course I am Lilypad. I just remembered I need to talk to Earl about something tomorrow and then got distracted thinking about what else I need to get done. The Quidditch World cup is getting close and things are getting busy.”

“That explains it. You do know that you can talk to me when work is stressing you out and I can even request some leave to help you out a bit more until things settle down.”

Ginny smiled at Harry as guilt churned in her stomach, sending up bile to burn the back of her throat from lying to him. They had never kept secrets from each other before but it was too much of a risk to talk to him just yet.

“Thank you but it’ll be fine. After these next few weeks we’ll have everything prepared and I’ll stop stressing.”

Reaching over she squeezed the top of Harry’s thigh to offer him comfort while also driving home to herself that she needed to try harder to stay out of her own head. As Lily’s hand landed on her shoulder she released Harry to place her hand over Lily’s and looking up smiled at her thoughtful daughter. Then she looked at Teddy and knew that he didn’t believe her at all. He was frowning and his usually brown eyes had turned a piercing blue that bore into her own until she turned away.

Later, while Harry took Lily to bed, Ginny escorted Teddy to the door. He stopped in his tracks and turned to face her in the dimly lit hallway.

“Are you really alright?”

Ginny didn’t know how to answer because she still didn’t know and wasn’t sure that she should place any of her own problems on Teddy’s shoulders. She had helped raise him and while he was no longer a child and possibly the only person she knew that would understand he was only 19. Nevertheless, she had nowhere else to turn and needed help before she drove herself crazy. Then an idea entered Ginny’s mind, one that seemed insane at first but would give her the answers she needed to make sense of her feelings once and for all.

With her eyes locked onto Teddy’s she paused for a moment, licking her lips as she considered what she was about to ask.

“I’m not sure, but I think I know where to find my answers if you’ll help me.”

“Anything you need,” Teddy replied and Ginny pulled him into a hug as she whispered that she would visit him tomorrow.


	9. Chapter 9

Ginny rubbed her thumb over the smooth glass vial in her pocket before pulling her hand free and knocking on Teddy’s door, her heart beating faster with something close to terror. When Teddy opened the door she let out a quiet hello and accepted the hug he pulled her into, feeling some of the tension slip from her shoulders. This was Teddy, the boy whose knees she had healed when he’d tripped over at the age of four and who she had flown loops with, holding his tiny frame close against her so he didn’t fall. As she stepped back she looked at him now, so much bigger but still the caring child he had been and she managed to smile.

“How are you?” Teddy asked as he ushered her inside with a wave of his hand.

“I’m a bit of a mess if I’m being honest,” Ginny said before stopping. There was so much she wanted to say but couldn’t seem to push the words out.

“I noticed. I thought at first that you were just a bit distracted but it’s more than that and you’ve been getting worse. Talk to me Gee Gee,” Teddy said as he took her hand and led her to the sofa. The seat was softer than the kitchen chairs and allowed him to sit beside her. Ginny laughed, Teddy hadn’t called her that since he was about three and only just learning to talk and he was using it now solely to cheer her up. She held tighter to his hand, using it to give her the strength to start.

“I’ve been thinking a lot recently, since meeting Jake.”

“It can take some time to get your head around it but after that,” Teddy shrugged before continuing, “It just seems right. I thought you got it quicker than most once you got over the shock. I even thought maybe you could understand him better than anyone.”

Ginny knew it was a loaded statement and could feel the weight of his eyes on her even as she looked down at her lap.

“You knew?”She asked, finally lifting her head even as her guilt tried to pull it back down and force her eyes away from his, afraid of what she would see.

“No, I didn’t know anything. I wondered a little, especially with your reaction to hearing about Jake’s experience, but I wasn’t sure. There was a chance you were just interested which is why I gave you that book. Did it help?”

“Yes and no, I still don’t know what I’m feeling, if it means I am-” Ginny cut off her words and sucked in a breath.

“What are you feeling?”

Now was her chance to finally let it out and she knew that she could talk to Teddy and he wouldn’t judge her. That didn’t mean it was easy and she remained silent for a minute organizing her thoughts before she spoke.

“I’ve always felt wrong but I put it down to just being a bit quirky. As a child it didn’t really matter but the older I got the more it began to bother me. I thought there was something wrong with me, with my head because I hated when people would call me a girl. I tried to fix myself by pretending to be like my friends but it just made me feel worse so I stopped trying to fit. Instead I tried to convince myself it was just the attitudes of misogynistic idiots and the unwritten rules of society I hated because that meant I could take the blame off myself.”

“I’m going to assume that’s not the case anymore,” Teddy urged when she fell silent. Her free hand was curled into a fist on her leg and she could feel how her body trembled as it tried to hold her together while being bombarded by too many emotions, several of them conflicting.

“No, it’s not. Listening to Jake felt like someone had crawled into my head and was reciting all my darkest secrets. I’ve never told anyone how I felt because I didn’t want them to think I was insane and now I’m terrified.” Turning so she could face Teddy directly, Ginny swallowed back the lump in her throat as the first tear fell, “I’m so scared that I’m going to ruin everything because now I know or think I do, I will never be able to stop thinking about it.”

Ginny closed her eyes as the warm trickle of her tears continued, she hated crying. Hated that Teddy was seeing her like this but she couldn’t make them stop and the more she tried the harder she cried. Dropping her forehead onto Teddy’s shoulder as he pulled her into his arms, she let out a broken sob before gasping for air and letting out another.

“It’s okay. Shh, it’s gonna be okay, Ginny. You haven’t ruined anything. I’m here and I’ll help you in any way I can.”

Eventually Ginny managed to calm down, the release of her emotions after bottling them up for months left her more clearheaded than she had been for a while. As she accepted the tissue Teddy handed her and blew her nose she braced herself to begin the plan she had come up with last night.

“Will you help me, Teddy?”

“I’m surprised you would even ask and kinda insulted,” Teddy teased and it helped break the somber mood that had settled around them as Ginny snorted out a small laugh.

“Can we do an experiment? I read in some books that people try different things to see what feels comfortable. I already know that I don’t feel right in dresses or anything feminine but wondered if you would try using male pronouns for me. Just so I can see what it's like,” Ginny knew her cheeks were red and wondered if this was the most embarrassing situation she had ever been in.

“Yeah, I can do that. Uh, right. I once saw Ginny do a triple reverse spin and he nailed it.”

Ginny’s heart skipped at the use of he, her ears picking up on it in a way she never had before when people used ‘her’.

“His kids are amazing and he has a very understanding husband,” Teddy continued and once again Ginny’s heart skipped while her stomach dropped. The mention of her family had only reminded her of what she was risking. The guilt at her selfishness surged and began to drag her back down.

“Harry is the best and so are my kids and I don’t want to lose them,” Ginny said and Teddy frowned as he looked at her closely.

“You’re not going to lose them, Gin. I don’t think anything could make that happen.”

“I’ve read the reports Teddy; it’s very rare for a marriage to survive after one member of it comes out as transgender. I’m just worried I’ll be making a huge mistake and destroy the family I've built just because of my discontent. This would affect everyone, my parents and my brothers, my work. Isn't it too late for me to change now? I’ve lived 36 years like this, why can’t I just block it all out again and continue the way I was.”

Teddy looked shocked by her words, mouth unintentionally opening with a quiet gasp before he settled his hands on Ginny's shoulders.

“Because it’s making you miserable and it's never too late. You said you’ve felt wrong for years but you don't have to keep feeling that way. It's not healthy to repress stuff like this and you know it Gin. Coming out is a risk and it won't be easy but doing the right thing rarely is. You taught me that and I've watched you teach your kids that. You told Albus and Lily that their comfort and happiness comes first so now I'm asking you to take your own advice. I want you to be happy, don't you want that?”

“Yes,” Ginny answered quietly, her eyes glancing to the side. She knew that Teddy was right and while it was one thing to deal with an unknown feeling it was quite another to bury what she knew. Did she know? Talking to Teddy had certainly cleared some things up and she could still remember the jump in her chest at hearing male pronouns. However she needed more proof than that and she slowly reached into her pocket again and wrapped her hand around the vial hidden inside it. There was one way she could be sure but could she do it? If she went through with this then she would have to tell Harry, tell her kids and the rest of her family. Was she ready to take that plunge or did she want to go back to pretending that everything was fine and ignoring the wrongness that would continue to haunt her?

“I had an idea,” Ginny said as she pulled the potion out and held it out on her palm. Teddy’s eyes darted from the potion to Ginny and she could almost feel the waves of concern that radiated from him.

“What is that?”

“Polyjuice potion,” Ginny reassured him and she watched as understanding dawned on Teddy’s face.

“I figured the only way to be sure was to experience it. To try being in the right body or at least one that’s the right sex. I know it seems a bit extreme but I don’t know what else to do, Teddy. I’ve thought about it all, over and over and my head is so full that I feel like it might explode but it doesn’t help. I still don’t know if I’m trans but too afraid to admit it or something else, but this could give me the answer.”

Teddy hadn’t said anything as she explained herself and the fact he hadn’t jumped up and called her crazy gave her a small amount of comfort. If it really was a terrible idea Teddy would have already taken the potion from her hand and told her so.

“Okay, I guess I can see your logic here but, Ginny,” Teddy said before firming his expression, “Are you going to be able to deal with the answer. If this works and the answer is that you are trans what will you do then?”

“Then I’m going to tell Harry and hope that he still loves me afterwards,” Ginny said flatly as with determination she uncorked the bottle and added the hair she had taken from a muggle in the bakery down the road. She had loitered for an hour outside the building waiting for the right person to walk by, someone who was close to her size and colouring but most importantly male. She knew she could have used a hair from one of her brothers but as much as she wanted to be like them the idea of literally becoming them would have been weird. This was already weird enough and giving Teddy a tight smile she held up the vial in a toast.

“To finding out the truth,” she muttered as she stood up and brought the vial to her mouth. Ginny swallowed down the potion and squeezed her eyes shut as her body began to ripple, muscles shifting and bones growing in a matter of minutes so that she was left feeling slightly disoriented.

Still she refused to open her eyes at first; rather she took a moment to breath. She felt her chest expand taking in an ounce more air than she was used to and already she could sense the missing weight of breasts. Her t-shirt sat differently on her, fabric touching areas of skin usually unreachable even though she hadn’t bothered to put on a bra today. Shifting a little more she lifted her shoulders and felt her top tighten even more around her arms, the bands of her sleeves digging in slightly to her thicker arms. Still not ready to look and face Teddy she ran a hand over her face, the scratch of stubble on her cheek a shock but not upsetting. She moved her hand lower over firm pecs and marveled at the contradiction compared to the soft tissue of breasts. Lowering her hand once again she felt her stomach and then slid both her hands over her hips. They were slimmer; the curves she had developed after carrying three children finally gone.

Unable to help it Ginny gasped out a sob, as her emotions swelled and became too powerful to remain contained. She knew it wasn’t her body and that it was only temporarily but for the first time HE felt right.

Opening his eyes Ginny locked them with Teddy who looked slightly shocked at the tears that were now running down Ginny's cheeks. Teddy’s hair began to turn an unnatural shade of red that spoke of danger and fear while the orange tips suggested he was worried.

“Are you…?”

“I’m good Teddy, I’m really, really good. The best I’ve ever been,” Ginny said answering the question Teddy had tried to ask. Of course he was alright, this is what he should have always been, what his mind had been trying to tell him but lacked the knowledge to do so. Now he couldn’t understand why it had been so difficult to figure out and had required months of over thinking about something that was so simple.

“So those are happy tears?” Teddy said with a broad grin. Ginny nodded before the bottom fell out of his stomach and the smile that had been stretched across his face vanished. He could feel the blood draining from his face and knew it would make him look pale and sickly as the ramifications suddenly became real. Overwhelmed, he closed his eyes again and struggled to remain upright. This test was supposed to solve his problems but all it had done was change them. He knew the truth now and wouldn’t ever be able to forget the complete joy he had felt for that brief moment. In the space of a second he had gone from ecstasy to a deep dark pit of despair far worse than the wrongness. Fear filled him, covering and consuming any trace of the happiness he had felt.

“Teddy,” he choked out and, feeling a hand settle on his shoulder, Ginny looked into the warm brown eyes of his godson. Their height now even so that he didn’t have to look up like he had before.

“Hey, it’s alright.”

“No it’s not, I’ll have to tell Harry, my kids. What am I going to tell them?”

“The truth,” Teddy answered simply. It was almost too innocent a reply and despite himself Ginny smiled at his naïve view of the world. Real life wasn’t like a storybook, there was no guarantee of a happy ending and doing the honest thing wasn’t always the best option.

“I’m scared,” he muttered through his trembling lips, as he wrapped strong arms around his flat chest.

“About what?” Teddy asked.

“That they’ll hate me.”

He saw Teddy’s arms strain as he pulled Ginny towards the sofa and pushed him back down onto the soft cushion that dipped lower under his slightly heavier weight. The extra mass didn’t prevent Teddy’s fingers from being painful as he gripped Ginny’s shoulders and shook him hard.

“No they won’t. You are still you, Ginny, the person that taught me how to cast a bat bogey hex and sat up with me all night when Grandma Andy died. Harry didn’t give a shit when you cut your hair, he doesn’t care that you hate dressing up or that you don’t cover your face in makeup. He loves you. He loves you because you’re funny and kind and because you’re right together. You’ll always be right together and he would never begrudge you being who you are and being completely happy. Just like you would never begrudge him that either.”

Ginny forced himself to breath and take a moment for Teddy’s words to sink in. Slowly he looked down at his hands, the fingers squarer and a little thicker but they moved the same as they always had. It was almost strange to see them flex and curl. Ginny had never paid much attention to his body before past knowing how to make it perform the tasks necessary. Suddenly he felt connected to a body that was completely alien to him only a few minutes ago. Realising that brought to light just how much he had distanced himself from the body he had been born with out of discomfort. Teddy was right, he would have to tell Harry because he couldn’t go back. The wrongness was no longer a confusing bundle of unknown distress but his mind trying to cope with a problem that he hadn’t known how to fix. Fear tried again to fill his chest and steal his air but Ginny pushed it back down and refused to listen to it even if he couldn’t stop the churning in his gut. Harry would understand because that’s the type of person he was and he loved Ginny unconditionally. His children would always be his and he loved them fiercely, nothing could change that or his place in their lives.

“You’re right, Ted,” Ginny said, noticing the deepness of his voice now his mind was calmer and a spark of joy slipped past the worries to warm his chest.

“Good. Do you want me there when you tell him?”

Ginny was pondering his answer when the flat door opened and Jake came in calling out a greeting to Teddy. He stopped when he spotted Ginny, eyes narrowing as he took in their positions with Teddy’s hands still resting on his shoulders and his face still damp from crying earlier.

“Everything alright?”

“Yeah,” Teddy said glancing at Ginny for permission and when he nodded Teddy continued, “Ginny is a bit upset but I think he’s feeling better now.”

Jake’s eyes almost bulged as he looked at Ginny again before he smiled with a large toothy grin and stepped forward to look more closely.

“Not to be rude, but I have some questions,” he said parroting what Ginny had said to him at their first meeting.

“I’m polyjuiced. I had a question I needed to answer and now I have,” Ginny explained after letting out a low chuckle and getting a jolt of pleasure at the vibration of his Adam’s apple.

“Is this because of me?” Jake asked, looking a little nervous as he took notice once more of the tear tracks on Ginny’s face as he wiped them away.

“A little, you gave me a name for my feelings - ones I’ve been trying to ignore for too long. I know I've left it a little late to work everything out."

"Some people just need a bit more time than others but you've gotten there now," Teddy interjected. Jake moved and dropped down onto the armrest next to Ginny since there was no room on the sofa, his hand rising to pull the hat off his head so he could run a hand through his hair.

“Wow, so what happens now?” Ginny looked back at Teddy, the corners of his mouth lifting into a small smile.

“I’m not sure but I really need a coffee. Once I have that then I can start thinking about everything else.” Teddy gave him a nod and, releasing his shoulders, headed to the kitchen to get the drinks.

“Ginny, oh wait, are you still using that name?” Jake asked which caused Ginny to frown. He hadn’t thought about changing his name though he knew many people did and that Jake probably had.

“Ginny is fine for now,” he said. That was something that could wait; he had more pressing issues such as telling his husband that he was now married to a man.

“Alright, so you decided to try polyjuice? I’ll admit I considered it but knowing it wouldn’t last and not being sure if I would ever be able to transition it seemed like a bad idea. Like finally reaching the goal only to have the quaffle snatched out of your hands and the game ended without ever getting to hold it again.”

“I can understand that. I wasn’t sure I would do it even as I bought the potion but I needed to be sure before I told Harry.”

“My offer still stands, if you want me there then I’ll be there,” Teddy said as he carried over their drinks holding them easily with a floating charm.

“Maybe, or maybe I should do it on my own. I’m not even sure where to start or how to bring up the topic,” Ginny admitted as his hand wrapped around his cup and he brought it close to his mouth. Blowing the steam away he took a small sip wanting the caffeine hit and willing to risk scolding his mouth to have it.

“Would it help if I came to dinner? It would give you a way to steer the conversation that way afterwards and you would be able to get a read on Harry's openness to people like us,” Jake offered. Ginny’s head whipped around to look at Jake in awe at his willingness to help him despite his discomfort.

“You don’t have to do that, Jake,” Ginny said, continuing to talk even as Jake waved away her protest. “I really appreciate the offer but I think it’ll be easier if I just talk to Harry alone.”

“Okay, I can respect that. So when are you going to tell him?”

“The sooner the better,” Ginny answered as his nerves fluttered like snitches in his stomach.


	10. Chapter 10

That night Ginny loitered outside his daughter’s room after checking to make sure she was asleep. Her slow even breathing was relaxing compared to the pounding of Ginny’s heart as he worked up the courage to go downstairs and face Harry. He wasn’t afraid of Harry getting angry, over their years together Ginny could count on one hand the number of times he had raised his voice. Instead he was terrified that Harry would be disgusted, that he would look at him and no longer see the person he married.

He gave himself a few more minutes to think over what he would say while tugging at his t-shirt, being back in his body after the polyjuice wore off had been harder than he had expected. He felt suffocated by the weight on his chest, compressed into a smaller space and when he looked at his hands they were small and delicate regardless of the calluses. Unable to put it off any longer Ginny took in a deep breath and glanced at Lily once more as she dreamed undisturbed before heading downstairs. He found Harry in the living room, a cup of coffee already waiting for him on the table. Harry looked up from the files he was studying as he walked in and wearing a large smile asked how Lily was.

“Fine, fast asleep,” Ginny answered, his own voice grating on his ears. As he sat he reached for the coffee, but rather than drink it simply held onto it. With his hands wrapped tightly around the mug they didn’t tremble too much and he wished there was a way to stop his stomach churning as well. It felt like his guts were tying themselves into knots and it took several minutes to unstick his tongue to say anything.

“Um, Harry?”

“Hmm, yeah,” Harry replied with a hum as he frowned at a report and dipping his quill into the ink pot beside him scribbled a note in the margin.

“Do you know what transgender means?” Out of the corner of his eye Ginny saw Harry lift his head, eyebrows raised before narrowing in concentration.

“That’s people that are born in the wrong body, guys that are actually girls, right?”

“Yeah, something like that. So you’ve heard of them?” Now Harry was staring at him and slowly he placed the reports down, shifting slightly to face Ginny.

“Yes, why?”

This would be the perfect time for Ginny to come out but fear caused his throat to close and he had to cough before he managed to speak, choosing to ask another question rather than answer.

“What do you think about trans people?” he asked and held his breath while looking over at Harry to see his reaction clearly.

“I’ve never really thought about it, it’s hard to imagine being in that situation.” Even harder to be in it, Ginny thought but kept that to himself as he put down his cup unable to keep hold of it as his hands grew clammy.

“So you don’t think that it isn’t real or that people like that are weird?” Ginny pushed seeking comfort that maybe Harry would be accepting.

“It is weird but I don’t think people would make up something like that.” It wasn’t the most hopeful response but with Harry’s only basic understanding about those that are transgender it was better than Ginny had expected. Harry hadn’t said anything insulting and his expression spoke of confusion while lacking any judgment.

“Will you tell me now where this has come from?” The sound of Ginny’s sigh was unmissable in the quiet room as he released the breath he had been holding and licked his lips. His mouth was dry and he considered taking a sip of coffee but he still felt sick and he couldn’t keep delaying things forever.

“I think,” Ginny started before stopping, now wasn’t the time for half truths or wishy washy statements. He needed to be honest, not just with Harry but himself and starting again said clearly and firmly, “I’m transgender.”

The words hung in the air, held up by the deathly silence around them and Ginny tensed his shoulders further waiting for an explosion. Harry’s mouth had fallen open, his eyes widening as they searched Ginny’s possibly looking for a trace of humour. Ginny blinked, the tears gathering in his eyes pushed back by the action as he struggled to not get upset.

“Oh,” Harry finally said. The word was so soft that Ginny might have missed it if he hadn’t seen Harry’s lips form the word.

“I know this is unexpected and if you need some time to process I understand,” Ginny jumped in and wondered if he should leave. He could stay in one of the spare rooms tonight or for as long as Harry needed him too. Now it was out his heart went into overdrive beating so hard that it almost hurt, the twisting in his stomach bringing bile to burn his throat and the lump that had formed there.

“How long?”

“What?” Ginny asked, puzzled by the question and how calm Harry sounded. His gaze was steady while Ginny glanced from Harry’s face to his hands resting lightly in his lap.

“How long have you known?”

Ginny had expected Harry to ask if he was sure and put up some form of resistance to his claim. Then he realised how silly that would be, Harry knew him and understood that if Ginny wasn’t sure then he wouldn’t have said anything. He wouldn’t even consider brushing off Ginny’s words, they were equals and if one had a problem then both of them worked together until it was solved. A small smile pulled at the corner of Ginny’s mouth as a tear slipped down his cheek at Harry’s compassion.

“A day, a few months, forever. I don’t know. I’ve always felt wrong but it’s only been recently that I found a name for it,” Ginny didn’t mention Jake partly because it wasn’t his place to do so but also to avoid the unlikely event that Harry might blame Jake for Ginny’s coming out.

“You never said anything,” Harry said, a hint of hurt in his voice as he lifted a hand to wipe the tear away but pulled back at the last moment. The small moment of hesitation and unease passing with nothing but a pang of pain in Ginny’s chest.

“I know. I never said anything to anyone because I didn’t know what to tell them. I’ve never been comfortable when people mentioned my birth sex or the expectations that came with it, but telling people I don’t feel like a girl isn’t normal. I’ve tried to fit in but acting like that isn’t me and I’m tired of trying. The gala was hell, having to wear those clothes and smile," Ginny stopped and shook his head. “I hated it, I’ve always hated it.”

The tears were flowing freely now, more out of frustration than sadness. He was fed up with all of it and even if this blew up in his face he was glad he had taken the risk. He swiped at his face to clear away the tear tracks and gave a loud sniff as he pulled himself back together while being annoyed that he had cried twice in one day.

“So what happens now? What happens to us and the kids?”

“I guess that’s up to you. I still love you Harry and I don’t want to lose you which is why I’ve been so stressed recently. As for the kids, I am one of their parents and that will never change but I don’t know how they will take this. I feel guilty for saying anything but I can’t pretend I’m a woman when I’m not.”

Harry fell silent as he took off his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose, rubbing the skin with his eyes closed. Ginny dared not move and it was becoming hard to breathe as his chest ached. He chewed on his lip before taking the plunge and asking the question burning a hole in his tongue.

“Do you still love me?”

Harry snapped his eyes open to look at him, shock clear on his face.

“What? Of course I still love you.” In a second he had reached out and cupped Ginny’s face, the touch more reassuring than his words and Ginny leaned into it and the comfort it gave.

“But, it’s a lot y’know,” Harry finished sounding ashamed to admit such a thing, but Ginny understood. He was still dealing with this and he had been thinking about it for months, while Harry had just had it dropped in his lap without warning.

“Tell me about it,” Ginny joked, letting out a small chuckle. He didn’t think there was anything funny about this situation but he needed to let out some of the tension. Better to laugh than start crying again and he was rewarded with Harry’s mouth curling into a smile.

“Why don’t you tell me about it? Tell me everything because I’m still struggling to understand but I really want to,” Harry said as he dropped his hand from Ginny’s cheek to rest on the top of his thigh.

“Okay,” Ginny said as he picked up his now cold coffee, “Let me get a fresh coffee first,” he said aloud before adding silently, ‘then I’ll give you a crash course in trans 101’.

They ended up sitting at the kitchen table opposite each other as Ginny explained everything he had learned. He also offered Harry a few books to read including the one Teddy had lent him. As Harry flicked through them Ginny sipped his coffee, giving Harry time to absorb the large amount of information he had been given.

“You mentioned feeling wrong. Is that this dysphoria thingy?” Harry asked, glancing up from the page he was reading.

“Yes, some people have it worse than others and there are even transgender people that don’t have it but there is a lot of debate around that.”

“How bad is yours?”

“It varies depending on where I am and what I’m doing and even what mood I’m in. Most days it’s fine but situations like the gala or visiting the Burrow make it worse.”

“The Burrow?”

“Mum likes to remind me that I should be more feminine. It’s hard dealing with her sometimes but I know she means well and doesn’t understand why I struggle to match her expectations,” Ginny clarified, letting out a sigh. He would have to tell his mother at some point and was dreading it because he had a feeling that she would struggle the most to accept who he was.

“I guess that’s why you’re always worn out after a visit. I wish you had said something, maybe I could have helped.”

Ginny reached out and took Harry’s hand grateful when he didn’t pull away from his touch. It was strange to be talking like this and not holding each other as they usually did but Ginny didn’t feel confident enough to sit on Harry’s lap or even stand behind him to place his hands on Harry’s shoulders. A hand would do until everything had been aired out and they better knew where they stood.

“There wasn’t anything you could do until I worked it out myself so don’t start beating yourself up for this, Harry. I know you and you’ll try and put it all on your shoulders but I’ve never needed you to be my hero.”

While he had always admired Harry’s sense of morals and dedication to helping people he had always made sure that Harry didn’t overdo it. More than once he had reminded Harry that he doesn’t have to live up to other people’s expectations.

“I know,” Harry agreed with a smile as he turned his hand over and held tightly to Ginny’s. They stayed like that as Harry continued to read in comfortable silence and Ginny finally began to relax. The stress that had filled him was gradually slipping away so that the tension in his body faded and his stomach settled.

“Uh, are you going to transition?” Harry asked the question hesitantly, the tone making it clear that he wasn’t comfortable with the subject.

“I want to,” Ginny said honestly, taking his hand back and tracing the scratches on the table. James had written his name in the worn wood with the tip of a knife when he was five, the letter ‘a’ backwards and while they could have removed it they kept it. The memory of how proud he had been when he had called Ginny to see had been too precious to wipe away with a spell. Ginny thought of that now and how people sometimes clung to certain things as he waited for Harry to say what was on his mind. Clearly he was struggling with the idea of him transitioning as he pursed his lips and stared down at the book, not reading it but collecting his thoughts.

“There are potions, right. You take them and they change you into a guy?”

Ginny nodded.

“Over time and it seems much safer than the muggle route. Are you going to be alright with that?”

“I don’t know?” Harry answered and now he was looking at Ginny, his eyes moving over his features as if committing them to memory.

“I’ll still be me Harry, that won’t change, it’s just the outside,” he tried to argue but then it really hit what that would mean. He would be male with a male body and Harry wasn’t attracted to men that Ginny knew of.

“Oh,” Ginny said, feeling his cheeks warm a little. He had imagined being with Harry in the right body and the differences that would make. The idea of Harry’s hands moving over his body, running over areas they had been avoiding for years, and the chance to experience everything from the other side was very appealing. However it would require Harry to not only accept Ginny as a man but change his sexuality. Harry could no more desire him as a man than Ginny could desire a woman.

“If you’re not attracted to men then we can get a divorce, I just hope we can remain friends for the kids.”

Ginny’s words were cut off by the expression on Harry’s face as he tugged nervously at his hair. His scripted response to what he would do if Harry reacted badly or stated that they couldn’t make it work was pushed away as Harry looked down.

“I might have had the odd thought, once or twice about being with a guy but I’ve never acted on it and I’ll admit that it’s not my preference,” he muttered before shaking his head.

“I just really wish I could stop thinking about you looking like Ron because that is seriously disturbing,” Harry stated as he shuddered.

“I’m not going to look like Ron, I’ll look like me, how I would have looked if I had been born in the right body,” Ginny snapped, feeling grossed out at the direction of Harry’s thoughts even if he could understand the reasoning. Regardless it did spark a tiny bit of hope that maybe their marriage didn’t need to end. It didn’t promise that everything would work out because thinking about something and doing it was very different but there was a chance and Ginny held onto that with a rational amount of optimism.

“I really hope you’re right but I still don’t know how I feel about it all. I’m sorry,” Harry said, mirroring Ginny’s thoughts on the matter.

“Don’t apologise Harry, please. I know this isn’t easy and I don’t expect you to be completely fine with it but I’m hopeful that we can work something out. There are potions designed more for non binary people that change certain aspects rather than the entire body. However I would strongly prefer to transition fully.”

If Harry truly couldn’t accept him changing completely then Ginny might consider another alternative for the sake of their marriage. All relationships consisted of compromises. Ginny had left quidditch to have a family but he had been determined to continue to work. A few years later, Harry had taken the position of head Auror for the stable working hours and had given up field work to sit behind a desk which guaranteed that he would come home in one piece.

“I feel like a wanker, it shouldn’t be about preferences but what you need to do to feel comfortable.”

As Harry raked a hand through his hair and let out a groan of annoyance, Ginny grinned.

“I know but we don’t live in a storybook, this is the real world. Here things are a bit more complex and messy and not everyone can be happy. If it’s a choice between transitioning or you, then I will do everything possible to have both. I need both, I need to be more comfortable in my skin and I need you beside me. You’re my best friend, my love and one of the most important people in my life along with the kids.”

“I feel the same way so we’ll take this a day at a time. If something comes up then we’ll talk about it,” Harry said confidently and Ginny gave a nod before reaching his hand out for Harry to shake.

“Deal,” Ginny confirmed. There was still a trace of unease in the air around them and things were far from sorted out but the first step had been taken. From here it was just a matter of going forward and seeing where they ended up.


	11. Chapter 11

"You seem happier," Harry said a few days after Ginny had come out to him.

"I am, just having you know and be accepting makes me feel more comfortable," Ginny admitted checking to make sure Lily wasn't in earshot. They had decided that it would be best to tell the children together once James and Albus returned home for the Easter holidays. Three weeks and they would know, it was both too soon and not soon enough for Ginny. He wanted to stop hiding but he was scared about their reactions.

He still hadn't worked out how he should tell them and whether he would remain their mother or become a second father. It wasn't like he was ashamed to be their mother, truly it had been one of the most fulfilling if awkward experiences of his life but it would feel strange for them to use mother once he had physically transitioned and no longer appeared female.

"What are you thinking about?" Harry asked, cutting through Ginny's thoughts.

With a small smile that quickly vanished Ginny answered, "The kids and how this will work in regards to them. I don't want to step on your toes by becoming their dad but mother is rooted so firmly in female terminology that it makes me uncomfortable but that is what I am. I don't want to throw away that part of my identity completely because I am proud to be their mum so I'm sort of stuck."

With a groan of frustration at the messy confliction of his thoughts Ginny crossed his arms and leant back against the kitchen side. Why couldn't he still be their mum even if he did transition and looked like a man? Whose business was it what title he used so long as he and the children were comfortable with it? However would anyone take him seriously if he held onto that term, would they see it as a sign that he was just confused?

"Hey," Harry said, drawing Ginny back to the present again as he gently gripped the tops of his arms before stroking down to Ginny's elbows.

"I have no problem with you wanting to use dad because at the end of the day you are still their parent. Why not wait until you've talked to the kids and ask them for some input?"

"That makes sense; it really is something we all have to be comfortable with. Thank you for being the voice of reason here because I seem to have misplaced mine."

"Anytime, love," Harry said as he pressed a kiss to Ginny's cheek. The small act of affection was a boost to Ginny's waning confidence that things would be alright eventually. As he pulled back Lily stepped into the kitchen and giggled at them before taking an orange from the fruit bowl on the table. Ginny glanced at the clock out of habit but quickly decided that the small snack wasn’t likely to ruin Lily’s appetite for dinner.

“Don’t forget you need to pack a bag for tonight,” Ginny reminded Lily, who let out a small sigh.

“I know, Mum. Do I have to go to Grandma’s tonight?”

Ginny’s eyes met Harry’s and they shared a look of confusion over Lily’s response.

“What’s up Lilypad, I thought you liked staying with grandma?” Ginny asked, a little confused. Lily usually looked forward to her sleepovers at the Burrow, probably because Molly had a habit of spoiling all her grandkids. Ginny had tried to limit it, especially how many sweets they were allowed before giving up and just dealing with the aftermath of their sugar highs.

“It’s only me and Hugo tonight because Roxanne has a cold and everyone else is at Hogwarts and it’s not fair. He never wants to play the games I want to and last time he got slime in my hair from one of Uncle George’s toys. Boys are gross,” Lily huffed as she finished peeling the orange, leaving the scraps on the table.

Ginny isn’t sure whether to laugh or take offence at Lily’s opinions of boys and looked to Harry for an answer.

“Boys are a little gross I guess and Hugo apologised for the slime. There must be games you can play together or maybe you can talk Molly into showing you how to knit while Hugo explores Arthur's garage?”

Lily frowned as she thought over Harry’s suggestion, her lip stuck out in a pout and Ginny was struck with the idea that she was already becoming a teenager.

“I guess so. Maybe she can help me make a hat to protect my hair,” Lily said while holding up the end of her ponytail and using it to tickle her cheek. This time Ginny did laugh, snorting into her hand at her daughter’s unusual logic.

“Maybe I can make hats for James and Albus too.”

“That sounds like a great idea, Lils. Now can you clear up this mess,” Harry said pointing to the peelings on the table that Lily had been about to leave as she climbed to her feet. Lily started to roll her eyes before catching Ginny’s raised eyebrow. With a tight lipped smile Lily scooped up the rubbish and dropped it into the bin before running off to hopefully collect her bag. Harry waved his hand cleaning the table top with a wandless spell and shook his head.

“Seems our sweet Lily is growing up. I am not prepared to be the father of a teenage girl.”

“Me either, and don’t expect me to be much help on the subject. I spent most of my time at that age worrying about a war and very little else.”

“It’s good that none of our kids have that problem. If the worst they have to deal with is slime in their hair or detention for missed homework I’d be happy.”

Ginny smiled as he nodded, their kids had been much more fortunate than them and it was with a spark of guilt that Ginny realised that he was about to change their reasonably normal lives. With Harry’s job and role in the war things had always been a little different but thankfully most of that had died down in recent years and they could walk down Diagon Alley with only a few extra greetings. Harry and Ginny had never been comfortable with fame, unlike Ron, who had understandably enjoyed the spotlight. Even Ginny had noticed how often Ron was overlooked at home when they were younger and it was the only reason he had been grateful to be born female so that he didn’t have to live in his brothers' shadows.

Tonight they were spending the night with Ron and Hermione, catching up after several busy weeks though it was going to be a little different than their past get-togethers. Tonight Ginny would be coming out to them in the hope that Hermione might have some ideas to help him come out to his kids. That was if she still wanted to talk to Ginny after hearing his decision, though it was Ron’s possible temper that was presently the bigger concern.

“Are you ready for tonight or is the reason you’ve gone quiet because you’re worrying?” Harry asked, changing the subject and Ginny rubbed the back of his neck nervously at Harry’s observation skills.

“I’m a little worried. I can only guess how they will react and while I’m optimistic that it will go well I can’t be sure.”

Ginny could tell himself that Hermione was level headed enough to hear his reasons without judgement but it wasn’t guaranteed. It was the same with Ron. He was Ginny's brother and they had only grown closer over the years, but would that prevent him from rejecting Ginny for his desire to be a boy?

“Stop it, Gin. I can practically feel the stress pouring off you right now. If you’re not ready then you can always tell them another time but putting it off will only make it harder. That’s what you told me,” Harry pointed out as he leaned next to him and knocked their shoulders together.

“I know I said that,” Ginny said, a little miffed because he did know and he wanted to tell them, tell everyone but it was scary.

“If it helps I can tell them for you?”

“No, I’ll do it,” Ginny insisted. He needed to be the one to do this to prove that he was strong enough for what was to come. A stupid belief but one that Ginny couldn’t shake off and standing up he pulled back his shoulders and firmed his spine.

“I’m ready.”

***

Ginny had thought that the second time would be easier but his stomach was churning again as he prepared to floo over to Ron and Hermione’s. Distractedly, he said goodbye to Lily, accepting a brief hug from her before she pulled Molly towards the kitchen, talking a mile a minute about how well she had done during her piano lesson that morning. Hugo had already arrived and was happily munching a biscuit in one of the cushion covered sofas beside Arthur, despite the dinner that Ginny could smell cooking.

“Are you alright, firecracker?”

“Yeah Dad, just tired,” Ginny answered. He was tired but not in the sense that he wanted to sleep but tired by the prospect of having to repeat the laborious and nerve wracking task of coming out to people, over and over.

“Why don’t we keep Lily a little longer and you can sleep in tomorrow? You can pick her up after lunch,” Arthur offered as he got to his feet with a groan. His calm tone helped settle Ginny better than his words and he smiled as his dad's hand settled on his shoulder.

“That would be great. Thanks Dad,” Ginny said as he wrapped his arms around his Dad's slim frame and held on tightly. The scent of his cologne was familiar and he remembered seeking out his dad’s hugs after his brothers had teased him too much because they always cheered him up. Arthur wasn’t much of a talker unless it was about his muggle obsession but his special brand of silence had become Ginny’s safe place. It was with reluctance that he finally let go and, feeling more steady, Ginny smiled cheerfully at his Dad.

“Go on or you’ll be late, have fun,” Arthur said as he patted Harry’s shoulder. Taking a handful of floo powder they called out the address and stepped into the flames of the fireplace. On the other side Ron and Hermione were waiting for them and, uncaring of the soot on their clothing, Ron gave him and Harry a hug.

“I’m glad you’re finally here, I’m starving. What are we ordering in tonight?”

“Glad to know that you’ve missed us Ron,” Ginny said sarcastically which only earned him a shrug from Ron.

“I have missed you guys but a man’s stomach comes first, you agree with me right, Harry?”

In that moment Ginny felt his chest tighten, it was such a small thing and someone else wouldn’t even notice it but he did. The wrong feeling surged and he had to quickly fight it down before anyone noticed, especially Harry who had looked at him the moment Ron had finished speaking.

“I think you’re the only one who believes that, mate,” Harry muttered out with a chuckle that sounded a little bit forced to Ginny.

“If you’re that eager to eat, Ron, then why don’t you grab the menus and start making decisions while I get us drinks,” Hermione said after she had spelled Harry and Ginny both clean and then hugged them.

“Sure thing,” Ron said, rushing off, while Hermione waved them towards the sofa on her way to the kitchen.

“Make yourselves at home, beer for you, Ginny, or are you joining me in a glass of wine?”

“Beer, please,” Ginny said, glad that Hermione didn’t bat an eye. As he dropped into a seat Ginny reached out for Harry’s hand, seeking a little bit of reassurance as his worries once more piled up.

“It’ll be fine,” Harry whispered while rubbing his thumb over Ginny’s knuckles soothingly.

Ginny nodded in reply as Ron came back in with a wide selection of take-away leaflets, one of which he waved in particular for a new Chinese place that had opened a couple of weeks ago. In the end it took them ten minutes to decide on the food and order it and then they listened to Ron complain for another five about the 40 minute wait for it to arrive.

“So, how are you both?” Hermione asked before taking a sip of wine. Harry looked at Ginny who stared back feeling like a deer in headlights and hoping to delay answering he took a gulp of his own drink.

“We’re good, uh, how about you?” Ginny said chickening out. He would wait until they had eaten, Ron would be in a more agreeable mood when his stomach was full, he reasoned. That didn’t mean that Ginny didn’t feel like a coward and keeping his eyes down slowly drank his beer in silence while Hermione and Harry talked about Ministry business with Ron jumping in on occasion to make a joke about some person or one of the suggestions for the betterment of wizard kind.

“You’ve been really quiet tonight,” Hermione mentioned halfway through their meal, which Ginny had only picked at as his stomach continued to complain. Maybe he should have told them sooner, though it was unlikely that it would have improved his appetite.

“I’ve got something on my mind that I wanted to talk about,” Ginny mumbled half hoping that no one would hear him but Hermione set down her fork and leaned forward clearly prepared to listen.

“Uh, right,” Ginny stuttered as he glanced at Ron who also seemed to be paying attention. Ron was still eating but it had slowed down and he was now chewing his food with his mouth closed.

“I just wanted to tell you that well, that is to say that,” Ginny began wishing that he had just blurted it out like he had with Harry, “The thing is I’ve recently realised that I’m, um, transgender.”

Two blank faces stared at him in surprise and Ginny failed not to stare back at the half chewed food visible in Ron’s open mouth.

“Well, that was unexpected. Would I be correct to assume you'll be using he/him pronouns now,” Hermione said which led Ginny to believe that Hermione knew something about the transgender community.

“Oh,” Ginny said, thrown but pleased by Hermione’s easy attitude. “Uh, yes and I'm going to assume that you have some knowledge about this stuff then?”

“A bit, I’m doing some legal work in regards to LGBTQ discrimination as a personal project. Mostly because Charlie mentioned that same sex realionships are still not recognized in Romainia, they barely tolerate homosexuality there even though it stopped being illegal in 2001. However, despite my numerous attempts to speak with the Ministry there and get recognition for its magical citizens they are being stubbornly ignorant on the subject.”

“I didn’t know that but it does explain why Charlie has never settled down with anyone. It must be difficult if they still have those prejudices,” Ginny said and wished that he had spoken more to his older brother but figured he got nagged enough by their mother about his love life without Ginny joining in.

“I’m really hopeful that this year the laws will be changed,” Hermione began only to be interrupted by Ron.

“That's great and all, but can we get back to the topic of my, um, Ginny wanting to be a dude?”

Ginny turned to Ron a little impressed that he had managed to catch himself.

“You know what transgender means?”

“Well yeah, some kid went off on me eight months ago for misgendering their friend and I had to ask George what it meant. He explained and then when I mentioned it to Hermione she gave me a hour long lecture about trans and non-binary stuff. I thought it was a kids thing,” Ron finished looking a little puzzled.

“Most people do realise early in life that they are trans but I’d never heard of it and thought there was just something wrong with me so I just stayed quiet about it,” Ginny said, shifting on the chair.

“Are you ok with it?”

“I mean I guess I am, it’s not like I can say no. Actually the more I think about It the more sense it makes. I remember you bugging everyone to play with you and Percy told you to go pick flowers or something and you just turned up your nose saying that was for girls. I’ve never forgotten the look of shock on your face when he pointed out you were a girl, right before you hit him in the nose and broke his glasses.”

“Mum grounded me for a week for that and then sat me down and told me I was a girl and girls don’t hit,” Ginny said with a sigh. He did remember and he remembered thinking it wasn’t fair because it meant Fred and George could pull on his pigtails but he couldn’t do anything back.

“It seems like you knew that you were male when you were younger,” Hermione pointed out.

"I guess so, I don’t remember ever thinking I was a boy but I’ve never thought of myself as a girl. Perhaps I repressed being male because everyone kept reinforcing that I was female which led to me thinking I was a freak or something.”

Hermione reached out and rested her hand on Ginny’s knee, patting it a few times. It was something Hermione had a habit of doing to Harry and Ron when they got worked up about something while she tended to hug Fleur and Angelina and previously Ginny. It was a small change but it meant so much and Ginny felt himself smile.

“That sounds horrible and I’m glad you don’t feel like that anymore.”

“Me too,” Ginny said cheerfully as he blinked away the moisture from his eyes. Merlin, he couldn’t seem to stop crying and he wondered if it was over-flowing due to holding onto everything for so long.

“I’m glad too Gin, honestly, if this is what you want to do then I’m all for it,” Ron added as he studied Ginny’s expression, clearly worried about the tears.

“Thanks Ron. I’m really surprised that everyones been so accepting because it’s been a big worry,” Ginny said, feeling lighter now as the muscles in his shoulders relaxed from being up by his ears since he got here.

“Who have you told?” Ron asked before taking another bite of food.

“Just you two and Harry, oh and Teddy.”

“Teddy?” Harry said and Ginny glanced at him feeling a little guilty.

“He helped me figure it out, he has a friend that's a trans guy and that’s where I learned about what transgender means. I’m sorry I didn’t talk to you first but I wasn’t sure and he knew more about it than me or you.”

“It’s alright, calm down. I’m not mad and I’m glad that you had someone to help you through it even if it wasn’t me. Teddy was probably much more helpful anyway,” Harry chortled as he gave Ginny a gentle punch on the arm.

"So are you planning to transition, not that you have to of course. I'll never understand people that believe you have to prove your gender," Hermione said firmly.

"I want to but I'm not sure exactly what method I'll take. I know there are potions for trans men that completely change your sex but there is also a wide range of other potions that can be used, more often for those that are non binary. With magic there are only a few limits on what you can change or keep when transitioning. I'm just thinking it might be a little easier to alter a few aspects of my body rather than going the whole way," Ginny said glancing at Harry who was smiling. No one else would notice that it was a strained smile but Ginny could, he could read every expression on Harry's face. Nevertheless, he didn't say anything about it and turned back to Hermione as she began talking again.

"As long as it makes you comfortable then either option is good. I suppose the more you transition the less chance there is of being misgendering which I think is why most opt to go that route and to lessen dysphoria. Oh," Hermione exclaimed, "I've just had a thought, the trip to france. You looked so uncomfortable at the boutique when we were trying on dresses, that must have been very distressing. I'm ashamed I didn't say anything but I just thought you weren't into shopping."

"Please," Ginny said as he raised a hand to placate Hermione, "While that was particularly unpleasant, you didn't know and neither did I at that point, so you have no reason to feel ashamed. I agreed to go, I was still trying to fit in a little so if anyone is to blame then it's me."

"I don't think blame is the right word and I guess you won't be joining us on the next trip?" Hermione teased with a light laugh.

"I might, but next time I want a suit," Ginny joked back.

"Are you gonna change your name?" Ron asked out of the blue and Ginny's head whipped to look at him.

"Maybe but I haven't thought about it. I mean I've always been Ginny but it is a bit feminine," Ginny said thinking about what name would suit him. Nothing came to mind but maybe he would find the right one once he'd had more time to just be himself.

"I've still got the baby name book I used to choose Hugo's name if you would like to borrow it?" Hermione offered but Ginny shook his head.

"Thanks but I'm not ready for that yet, right now I'm just focusing on telling people that I want to be a he without adding the fact I'm changing my name too. I think one thing at a time is best."

"Probably, but Mum's still not gonna like this," Ron pointed out, finally putting down his plate with only a few bites left on it.

"I know," Ginny groaned. Ginny knew that his parents would need to be told soon and before the kids came home from school so he could deal with any possible problems that might arise. Regardless of that he planned to tell his other brothers first in the hope they would be on his side should his mum take the news poorly.

"She'll come around," Hermione promised in an offer of comfort that also confirmed Ginny fears that Molly would not be as ready to accept him as others. Deciding to push aside that worry for another day Ginny focused on enjoying his night and they talked for a few more hours. The conversation eventually moved away from his big news to other things such as how their kids were fairing and Hermione's plan to run for Minister in a few years.


	12. Chapter 12

Harry let out a sigh after signing the report in front of him, he couldn’t recall a single word of it or any of the others he had read this morning. Some of that was due to the dreariness of it being a Monday but mostly it was because he was distracted by other things.

With another sigh he dropped his quill on the desk and leant back in his chair, eyes closed against the magically created sunlight that filled his office. 

Four days, he thought, it had been less than a week since his whole world had been turned upside down and as much as he wanted to be alright with everything the truth was that he wasn’t, not completely. However he was hesitant to say anything to Ginny for fear of her-his reaction, Harry mentally corrected. 

_Ginny is male, Ginny is a he, Ginny is my…husband?_

It just felt a little strange to him to think of Ginny in that way after years of being husband and wife. An adjustment he was desperately trying to accept but at night or when his mind drifted doubts and worries would creep in.

Opening his eyes he took another look at the large pile of papers on his desk before shaking his head at them and climbing to his feet. Not bothering to grab his robes from the back of his chair Harry headed out into the hubble of the auror department where people were either hunched unhappily over their desks or rushing around with bits of paper shouting out about results or missing statements. The noise died down as Harry strode through with most people calling out a greeting or giving a nod of respect in his direction, which Harry returned distractedly without pausing.

Finally exiting the auror department Harry, stalled in the hallway, his eyes going towards the elevator at one end of the corridor and then to the Magical Law Department in the other direction. He needed to talk to someone and, while his first instinct was to seek out Ron at Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes, he felt that Ron might be a bit too close to the situation and instead headed left towards his other best friend.

Hermione could be objective, it was part of her job to look at things from different angles and find a solution that would serve the majority. With luck she would be able to use those same skills now and help Harry with his muddled thoughts.

Harry wasn’t stopped as he headed to the deputy heads office, it was a perk of being head of the Auror Department that no one gave a second thought to him walking around this section. The secretary outside the door to Hermione’s office smiled as he approached and was already talking before Harry could.

“She’s in and not busy if you want to go straight in.”

“Thanks Mary,” Harry said with a friendly smile and without bothering to knock opened the door and stepped inside.

Hermione was scribbling quickly on a thick stack of parchment, books strewn over her desk so that only the corners could be seen.

“Just one moment,” she said without looking up as she continued to write, the tip of her quill flicking back and forth with each word put on paper.

“Oh, Harry, everything alright?” Hermione asked when she finally placed her quill into it’s ink pot and lifted her head.

“Not really, can I talk to you?” Harry said, making sure the door was closed before taking the seat in front of Hermione's desk.

"It’s about Ginny isn’t it?”

Harry snorted out a laugh, there was no getting anything past Hermione and she was as clever as ever.

“I want to say no just so you will be wrong for once but as usual you’ve hit the nail on the head,” Harry admitted, his amusement quickly being replaced with distress over his reasons for being here.

"Would it make me an arsehole if I said that it bothered me?” Harry asked. He didn’t need to say what it was because they both knew what he was referring to.

“Not at all Harry, it makes you human,” Hermione told him as she rose out of her seat and moved around the desk to lean against the edge closer to him.

“Then why do I feel like one? I want to be supportive, I am supportive but wrapping my head round it all is difficult.”

“I expect it is, a lot of things will change that affect not only Ginny but you and everyone else. It’s perfectly understandable to have worries about the future and need a period of time to adjust,” Hermione reasoned and Harry was glad to hear that his feelings were normal.

“Thanks, I needed to hear that. When he,” Harry said pausing to get the pronoun right, “Told me it was like taking a bludger to the head. Disorienting, I guess, but with her, ugh, him, looking at me trying to hold back tears and shaking like a leaf how could I freak out. Ginny needed me to be okay with it, I could see that’s what he needed so I put my feelings to the side and just listened. Do you know Gin asked me if I still love her-him, fuck,” Harry swore in frustration.

“That’s going to take some time to get right, there are a few tricks to make it easier but for now let’s concentrate on you. Does this mean you don’t support Ginny?”

“No, I do support him and I still love him but I do have some concerns,” Harry said, taking care to use the right pronouns before looking away from Hermione. He was afraid of her judgement when she heard some of his worries because even he could admit they were somewhat shallow.

“I’d be amazed if you didn’t have concerns, this stuff is tricky and usually full of emotional issues. It might seem simple to switch from one gender to the other but it’s not as easy as taking a few potions and changing pronouns. Tell me what’s bothering you, talking it out is always a good idea and while I would suggest both you and Ginny consider talking to a counsellor or therapist I know you aren't likely to listen,” Hermione said as she drew out her wand and conjured a chair beside Harry. He smiled as she placed a hand on his knee while taking her seat and he placed his hand over hers.

“I don’t want to go down that route if it can be helped, you know how much I like my privacy.” 

At Hermione's nod of understanding Harry continued, “I guess my biggest problem is going to be other people's reactions and while I don’t often care what they say I’m not exactly thrilled about having our names splashed all over the papers again when it finally seems to have stopped.”

“Is it just the publicity or what they will say that worries you?” Hermione asked and Harry knew she was playing therapist for him at this very moment.

“Both, I know its stupid but it makes me uncomfortable to think of the headline, 'Chosen one turned gay as wife has sex change', or something equally as insulting.”

“Do you see being gay as something to be ashamed of?”

Harry frowned at Hermione who only continued to look at him undeterred while waiting for his answer.

"You know I don’t, I’ve never been bothered by whatever sexuality a person has but I guess I’ve never considered myself as gay and doing so now just feels weird,” Harry confessed. He knew that he sounded childish complaining about something as silly as a label but since he had considered himself to be straight the idea of changing that was a struggle.

“Weird because you can’t imagine being with Ginny once he transitions or weird because it doesn't bother you as much as you thought it would?” Hermione prodded, her tone almost teasing.

“What do you mean by that?”

“Well,” Hermione began moving her hand back into her own lap while wearing a small smirk, “I remember you being rather obsessed with a certain boy at school.”

“I was not obsessed with Malfoy,” Harry snapped, glaring at Hermione when she laughed.

“Yet you knew exactly who I was referring to. I never said anything but I've always wondered.”

“Seriously, Mione. Whatever, I wasn’t obsessed with him and definitely not in that way.”

Harry huffed out a breath as he crossed his arms over his chest and scowled at the floor. He could admit that there had been a few boys at school, which unfortunately did include Malfoy, that Harry had had the odd sexual thought about but never more than that. Compared to his fantasies about the pretty girls at school he considered his mild curiosity about boys unimportant . Now he was purposely trying to change his fantasies to include a guy, specifically Ginny looking more male and it wasn’t going well. He really couldn’t stop seeing Ron and that wasn’t in the least bit appealing to him.

“Does this mean that you’re not attracted to cis men at all?” Hermione questioned softly, “Because that might be a problem that you need to talk to Ginny about.”

“Well, Alright, so there might have been the very rare occasion when I was curious about being with a bloke but that’s it,” Harry said, his face heating with embarrassment at admitting even that much to Hermione though he wasn't sure why.

“Ah, I see. So you’re bi curious then. Having at least some interest in men will certainly make things easier but how are you planning to cope with Ginny’s transition if it is only curiosity?”

That was the question and Harry wasn’t sure how to answer it, he loved Ginny and he didn’t care if he wanted to call himself a guy if it made him happy. There was so much more to Ginny than the way she looked but he'd be lying if he said that he didn't also really like her appearance. Harry knew the shape of Ginny’s body, how her hand fit into Harry’s and the softness of her skin. He adored the curve of Ginny’s hips and the warmth of her sex wrapped around his cock as they made love and he didn’t want to lose those things even if the few times they had experimented with anal it had felt good too. _Would Ginny want to do that to him,_ Harry suddenly thought as a mixture of arousal and fear swirled inside his stomach? 

“I said how are you going to cope with Ginny transitioning?” Hermione asked again, pulling Harry from his thoughts.

“Oh, um, I guess hope that she doesn’t end up looking like Ron after taking the potions,” Harry mumbled with an apologetic shrug. “No offense.”

“He not she," Hermione corrected, "And it’s fine, I’m glad you don’t find my husband attractive. So you're hoping that you will still find Ginny desirable after he has changed. It is a tricky situation because while it is possible to love someone without finding them physically attractive it would put a massive amount of strain on the relationship even if you don’t consider looks or gender to be very important.”

“Exactly, I don’t think I would stop loving Ginny but I can’t say for certain that I’d be able to continue to be married to him if we stopped, you know,” Harry finished. This was the strangest conversation he had ever had with Hermione and right now he was really glad that he hadn’t gone to Ron because that would have been much more awkward. 

“Are those the only issues then, how your marriage will work and what the media might say about you both?”

“That’s most of it along with just the general bizarreness of the situation. Ginny has always been less girly than most but I actually like that about her-him. I’ve seen the terror on Ron’s face when you ask his opinion on what you're wearing or his guilt when he doesn’t notice you’ve had your hair done and I've considered myself lucky to have avoided all that. Ginny doesn’t like me commenting on how he looks, which makes sense now.”

“I did notice a few things like that about Ginny but never added it up, I just put it down to him being a tomboy and being around men all the time. Now I know the truth it seems obvious and Ginny looked so much happier after telling us.”

"He is, the way his face lit up when you and Ron accepted him. There are only a few times I can say I've seen him look like that, which is when our children were born, our wedding day and when he won a quidditch match. Just the mixture of relief and joy in his expression, and in those moments he really does look beautiful. I want him to keep looking like that and I feel guilty for wanting to hold onto my Ginny even a tiny bit.”

“He’s still your Ginny but I get your meaning. With anyone else I would say that realistically things won’t work out but you two are so perfect together I don’t think anything could break you apart, as long as you are both willing to work through this.”

“Thanks, I think so too, and I really do want it to work out,” Harry stated.

“I know. Now I hate to rush you out but I have lots of work to do and so do you I bet.”

Chuckling Harry stood up along with Hermione and captured her in a tight hug, “I do. Thank you again for listening to me rant.”

“Anytime.”

Harry returned to his office in slightly higher spirits, and while he knew that his fears hadn’t been completely put to rest he was hopeful that things would work out. 

  
  


That night when Harry got home, and Lily had been tucked into bed, he sat down with Ginny and aired out his concerns. They talked until well into the early hours of the morning discussing everything from how Ginny would transition to what they would do if intimacy became a problem. By the end of it they were both emotionally drained but for Harry it felt like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. 

Harry took Ginny’s hand and led him upstairs to bed, where they cuddled up closely together without even a lingering wisp of discomfort between them. Both of them were prepared for the future and were ready to face it together come what may. 


	13. Chapter 13

Over the next week Ginny talked to each of his brothers telling them about his new gender identity. With Bill and Percy being the only ones who needed to have the term transgender explained to them. After Ginny finished explaining everything to Bill he had thought about it for a few minutes and then asked did this mean Ginny was now the youngest brother because if so he better be prepared to take Ron's place as the butt of all their jokes. Ginny had laughed and told him to try it if he was brave enough. 

Charlie had only blinked once before nodding and saying that he had always seen Ginny as one of them because he wasn't ever really a girl. Ginny had cried hearing that which had freaked out his brother until he realised they were tears of happiness at his simple acceptance without needing to ask a single question. 

Percy however did ask questions, mostly about Ginny's reasoning before giving a brisk nod and stating that if Ginny felt the change was necessary then he would support his choice before leaving to go to an important meeting. 

George had grabbed a couple of his products off the shelf and handed them to Ginny saying he would need them if he was joining the boys. The items included dungbombs for anyone that pissed Ginny off and a book of jokes about farts with a free extra loud whoopie cushion. In a very serious tone George had explained that potty humour was the basis of any bloke and that if he didn't laugh then he would have to give up his man card. Then George had squeezed the whoopie cushion in Ginny's face blowing his fringe up with the force of the escaping air. Ginny had laughed so hard that he had struggled to breathe and George had clapped him on the back and said welcome to the club. Every one of these interactions ended the same way with his brothers’ acceptance and Ginny's plea that they not say anything to Mum because Ginny still needed to tell her and Dad. All his brothers had happily agreed and wished him luck saying they didn't envy him that task. 

Now the day that Ginny had been dreading was here. They had sent Lily off on a playdate with Roxanne and her mother Angelina to wander Diagon Alley spending their pocket money and get ice cream while Ginny was at the Burrow with only Harry as support. He had told Molly and Arthur that their lunchtime visit was a spur of the moment decision but he had been planning this moment for a week. He had planned out exactly what he would say and had even brought a few books to offer as additional information should they ask that were hidden inside the backpack at his feet. 

Bolstering himself with the remembered acceptance of everyone else he had told, Ginny took a deep breath and cleared his throat. His mum stopped clearing away their lunch plates and Arthur paused in his discussion with Harry about his theories on magical batteries.

"Mum, Dad, there’s something I want to tell you," Ginny started and waited for his mum to sit back down before continuing, "I'm transgender and plan to transition to male."

There was a moment of silence as they stared at him in shock. Something that seemed to be a recurring theme whenever he told anyone and an expected and logical reaction to surprising news, if Ginny was being honest.

Molly shook it off quicker than most and with her lips down turned snapped out, "What in Merlin's name do you mean? Transition to male? Why would you do something like that?" 

It was a struggle for Ginny not to flinch at his mother's accusative tone but he remained firm and wearing a mask of calmness to hide his fear continued to explain.

"Because I am male, Mum, that's why. You know I've never been comfortable being a girl and the reason for that is because I'm transgender. That means I don’t identify with the gender I was assigned at birth therefore I want to use potions to change my body so I can finally feel comfortable."

Molly closed her eyes as she shook her head, "This is ridiculous Ginny, look at you, obviously you're a girl," she argued and unable to prevent it Ginny looked down at the almost hidden bumps of his chest that could be gleaned through his thick jumper. He felt the wrongness build and with it his temper at his mother's refusal to listen. 

"I can't stand to look at myself!" Ginny admitted somewhat harshly looking back up as he crossed his arms and his throat closed up with the pain building inside him and fanning the flames of his irritation. 

"I don't understand why not, you're so pretty but you hide in under those awful jumpers. Maybe if you dressed nicer and grew out your hair you would feel better about yourself," Molly tried to reason, her tone turning gentle as if talking to a child.

"That's not going to solve the problem, I've tried everything but I'm tired of pretending to be a girl, because that's what it is, pretending," Ginny said hoping that this time his mum would listen as he gentled his own tone to avoid causing a fight. He also relaxed his stance letting his hands rest once more on the scratched wooden table. 

"Can you believe this Arthur? What about Harry, have you taken his feelings into consideration."

"He has," Harry said, speaking up as he took Ginny's hand that was beginning to tremble. "He has given me more consideration than I probably deserve because this isn't about me; it's about him and what he needs to be happy. And I'll support whatever decision he makes."

Ginny watched the surprise on Molly's face at Harry's unexpected defence and while she looked to Arthur, Ginny gazed at Harry. In that moment he fell in love with Harry all over again for supporting him without trying to fight his battle. Harry had said his piece and was now sitting in silent support beside him. His hand holding on tightly to Ginny’s was telling him without words that Harry was on Ginny’s side. 

"Arthur, will you help me talk some sense into our daughter?" 

"Son," Ginny corrected. 

"I already have six-five sons. I don't want another one."

This time it was impossible for Ginny to hide his reaction as he gasped in pain. And the mask of indifference he had tried to maintain cracked and broke as his chest felt like it had been sliced open. Subconsciously, he raised a hand and placed it over his heart, almost expecting to find it bleeding through his clothing.

Ginny watched through a sheen of tears as his mother reached out for him, regret etched into the lines of her face.

"I didn't mean it like that Ginny, I'm so-"

"Excuse me, I need some air," Ginny mumbled as he released Harry's hand and scraping back his chair walked quickly past his parents and into the garden. 

There was still a nip to the air as winter refused to release its grip but the flowers were beginning to bloom regardless. However, their colourful, disorganised array did little to improve Ginny's mood. He didn't know what had been more painful; the catch in his mother's voice as she corrected herself and sparking the old hurt of Fred’s death or the rejection that she didn't want Ginny as a son. 

"Hey there, firecracker."

Ginny looked over his shoulder and found his dad standing awkwardly a foot away, his hands shoved deep into the pockets of his trousers.

"Hey, Dad," Ginny replied softly, sniffing back the snot escaping his nose and wiping a sleeve over his damp cheeks. 

"She really didn't mean it. You know she would never intentionally hurt any of her children but people often speak out of turn when they are afraid."

"What has she got to be afraid of?" Ginny snapped, not at all pleased his dad was siding with Molly.

"She lost one child already and now fears that she might be losing another," Arthur explained as he stepped closer and drew out his wand. Ginny shivered as the warming charm settled over him but he already felt hot as his anger burned inside him. He had always had a temper but now it was mixed up with his feelings of rejection which turned his words cruel.

"She isn't losing me; she's losing her ideal of me. The perfect daughter she always wanted but never got because I failed to meet her expectations. Nothing I ever did was good enough for her but I tried anyway for her sake even when it made me feel miserable. I dressed up when she asked me to and watched from the sidelines while my brothers got to play rough and get dirty. Now I just want to be me, is that really so terrible?"

“No, it’s not. And you might be right that Molly is upset over losing someone that never really existed, but to Molly she did. Just give her a little time to come to terms with that and I’m sure she will happily accept another son because no matter what she loves you.”

As his anger lessened to annoyance Ginny uncurled his hands and let out a groan of frustration with an undercurrent of guilt for making her mother sound like a monster. He knew his mother had been doing what she thought was best and loved Ginny deeply and it wasn’t fair for him to blame her for his feelings. Maybe if he had been able to come out when he was younger this would have all been sorted out sooner but he had wanted to make his mum happy and proud. He admired his mum’s strength and firm resolve and wanted to be like her but he didn’t want to be a woman, couldn’t step into her role in the way she hoped he would. He sniffed back another sob as anger seeped away leaving only the guilt and shame that ached in his chest and made it feel tight.

"Do you think I'm wrong? That I’m crazy for wanting to change?" Ginny asked softly as he gazed at his dad. Arthur's expression was set into a small smile and shaking his head he opened his arms wide. In a second Ginny had practically fallen into them and clung to his dad as he trembled with his grief.

"There is nothing wrong with you, wanting to be happy isn't wrong or crazy. And if you are crazy then so what? Many of the greatest people in history had been called that and even I’ve been called mad once or twice so you are in good company," Arthur joked lightly as he squeezed Ginny tightly. “Wanting to be happy isn’t wrong or crazy and it is the only thing I have ever wanted for all my children. As a parent yourself I’m sure you feel the same way.”

"Does this mean you’re alright with me being your son?" 

Ginny held his breath as he waited for an answer unwilling to lift his head and look at his father's face. 

Hands pulled him back and then one cupped under his chin so that he had no choice but to meet Arthur's bright blue eyes, "Of course I am, you'll always be my little firecracker whether you’re a girl or a boy or whatever else."

Ginny felt more tears collect as he pulled his dad back into a hug and choked out, “Thanks, Dad.”

They remained locked together hugging for several minutes, Arthur’s hand stroking Ginny’s hair as he pulled himself back together.

“I’m going to have to go back in there aren’t I?” Ginny muttered as he let go of his dad and looked past him to the Burrow. For a second he felt ashamed for running away and leaving Harry behind to deal with his mum. 

“It might be best and you should at least say goodbye.”

As Ginny took a deep breath he nodded towards his dad and together they walked back into the kitchen, Molly spinning in her seat to look at them. It was clear she had been crying and Ginny was sure his face was also puffy and red. 

“Ginny I really didn’t mean what I said,” Molly began rising from her chair only to stop when Ginny looked away and shuffled backwards.

“It’s fine, I know you didn’t however I think me and Harry should get home, we need to pick Lily up in an hour from George's,” Ginny explained, still not able to meet his mother's eyes knowing that it would likely cause him to cry again. Although it did mean that he noticed the books he had brought over were now lying open on the table and the sight of them sparked a tiny bit of hope.

“If you’re sure dear. Will you be coming over tomorrow for dinner?”

“I think we’ll pass this time but I’m sure we’ll visit next week when the kids are home from Hogwarts,” Ginny said as he finally raised his head and met his mum’s eyes. He kept his hands by his side as he moved past her to stand beside Harry who settled an arm around Ginny’s shoulder. The tension in the room was almost suffocating as no one knew what to say or do leaving Ginny sweating nervously and rocking on his heels in an attempt to displace some of the awkwardness.

Finally after a few minutes of uncomfortable silence Harry broke it. “Well, we’ll just be off, um, it was nice seeing you both.”

“Yes, you too. Take care and I hope you’ll stop by again soon,” Arthur replied, trying to sound jovial but failing despite his small chuckle.

Unsure what else to do Ginny turned away and walked into the living room, where he took a pinch of floo powder and glanced back at his parents as they loitered a few feet back.

“Bye,” Ginny uttered before saying his address and stepping through the flickering green flames. 

A moment later Harry arrived and joined him in the living room of Grimmauld place, the pair looking worriedly at each other as they came face to face.

“Well that could have gone better,” Harry commented sarcastically which caused Ginny’s mouth to curl up at the corners.

“That’s an understatement,” Ginny huffed in reply. “I knew it wasn’t going to be easy but I guess I tricked myself into thinking that it would be fine which was a bit optimistic of me.”

“A little,” Harry agreed as he reached out and took Ginny’s hand, tugging him to the sofa where they slumped down side by side. 

“Are you alright?” Harry asked hesitantly after a few minutes of silence.

“No, but I will be. Even if she didn’t mean it, the fact she said it hurt and it’s gonna take me some time to get over that. Perhaps by the time I’ve done that she will have come around to the idea of me being transgender,” Ginny mused as he turned his head to face Harry.

“I think she is already trying to accept it. What she said was awful and you have every right to be upset about it but it’s clear that she truly regrets it. We spoke a little bit while you were getting some air. She really couldn’t seem to understand why you would want to change gender or how something like that even happened. So I offered her the books you took for her to look at and she seemed interested in learning more which is a good start.

“It is and hopefully this will all have a good ending too,” Ginny said wishfully.


	14. Chapter 14

Ginny was still struggling with his mother’s reaction and it added more worry to the prospect of telling his children. What would he do if they hated him? If they no longer wanted him to be in their lives? Maybe he shouldn’t have said anything at all?

That last thought hit Ginny hard, as he battled with his shame and pride. He wanted to be true to himself, wanted to be happy but should his kids have to suffer for that? He didn’t know but the children had returned home yesterday and after giving them a day to settle back in it was now time to tell them everything.

“Are you ready?” Harry asked and Ginny swallowed in reply sure that if he opened his mouth he would throw up.

“I know it’s scary and after Molly’s reaction you’re even more worried, but whatever happens we’ll work it out, okay?”

“Right,” Ginny mumbled, while his heart jumped around in his chest and his stomach rolled.

“Kids, can you come here a minute,” Harry called out and slowly one by one they entered the kitchen taking a seat. James was last wearing a scowl and he let out a huff of air as he dropped into his seat.

“What have I done wrong now?” he asked, shooting a look at Albus who shook his head in confusion.

“No one has done anything wrong but Ginny wanted to talk to you about something so I want you to listen carefully,” Harry said before waving a hand at Ginny to take the floor.

“Uh, yes. Now I’m not sure how much of this you will know or understand so if something doesn’t make sense I want you to ask about it, okay?”

Three heads nodded at him with matching expressions of confusion.

Taking a deep breath Ginny nervously rubbed his sweaty hands on his jeans and prepared to start.

“Do any of you know what the term transgender means?”

He wanted a general idea of how much they already knew, especially James who was now scrunching his nose in disgust.

“That’s people that want to be a different gender. Like boys who want to wear makeup and dresses and grow boobs.”

Ginny frowned at James' words even as Lily giggled into her hand and even Albus was smirking at the use of the childish term.

“It means people who don’t feel comfortable with the gender they were born with. Some of them choose to change the way they look to feel more like themselves while others just change their pronouns. So they use he or him instead of she and her. Some change the way they dress, wearing things like dresses or make up to express who they are inside. And for wizards and witches there is the option to use potions to change their body's to the correct gender,” Ginny said before pausing, he wanted to make sure that the kids understood what he had said so far before throwing anything else at them.

“So transgenders don’t like being a boy or girl so they switch?” Albus inquired.

“Yes,” Ginny replied, wondering if he should mention non binary or agender people but for now wanted to keep things simple. They could always discuss later who else fit under the Trans umbrella.

“Now the reason I’m telling you this is because I have recently realised I’m transgender. I don’t identify as being female and never have but I thought that I had to force myself to fit into the body I was born with. I know this is a bit of a shock and it will take time for-“

“This is a fucking joke right?”

“James,” Harry snapped at their son’s bad language but James didn’t seem to care as he stood up.

“What? Just because Mum’s decided she wants to be a boy I have to be alright with it. That’s bullshit; I get enough crap for being your son without dumping this on us.”

Ginny opened his mouth to speak but James had already stormed out of the room and even Harry didn’t attempt to call him back. Instead he reached out for Ginny’s hand, holding onto it and whispered softly.

“Give him some time, It’ll be alright.”

“Mum, are you okay?”

Ginny looked up and gave Lily a watery smile. “Yeah, I’m ok Lilypad.”

“You don’t look it, and you always tell us that lying is wrong,” Albus mentioned, which forced a snort of amusement from Ginny.

“Good point Al. I’m upset but so is James and I don’t blame him for being so. This is a hard thing to accept and was very unexpected so his reaction is understandable.”

“Still doesn’t mean he should have shouted like that, he said bad words Mum,” Lily muttered.

“I know, and me and Harry will talk to him about that.” Ginny said as he forced down the hurt at James' outburst.

“So you’re a boy now?” Albus asked, his eyes scanning Ginny as if looking for any changes.

“I’ve always been a boy but now I want other people to know that too. Remember how you told me you felt comfortable in Slytherin even though your brother teased you?”

“Yeah,” Albus answered with a nod.

“Well that’s how I feel now, I didn’t fit where I was and it felt wrong so I’m changing things so that I feel better,” Ginny explained, he didn’t want to talk about the technical terms and make it sound like he was giving a lecture.

“You were sad Mum? Is that why you’ve been strange recently?”

“Yes, Lily, that’s why I was strange, I was working out who I was and if I should tell anyone about it.”

“I’m glad you told us, I don’t want you to feel bad, Mum, and no one should have to feel like they don’t fit in. I know how horrible it feels and James is wrong for being angry,” Albus stated, firming his expression as he sat up straighter in his chair. He looked the spitting image of Harry in that moment and Ginny couldn’t have been more proud.

“Thank you Albus, but while you might think James is wrong that doesn’t mean he is. He is just as entitled to his feelings as I am to mine,” Ginny managed to say past the lump in his throat.

“Will you still be our Mum?” Lily asked and when Ginny turned to face her he saw the tears gathering in her eyes.

“Always Lilypad, I’ll always be your parent and if you want to keep calling me Mum then that’s fine.”

“Would you prefer to be called Dad?” Albus asked and Ginny gave a shrug in reply.

“A little, but it’s more important to me what you would prefer to use. Whether you call me Mum or Dad I’ll still love you as much as I do now,” Ginny reassured. He was so happy that Albus and Lily seemed to be taking the news well but that could change and he had to be prepared for whatever questions they threw at him and be as honest as possible.

“I don’t mind calling you Dad, though it might get a bit confusing. Are you and Dad gonna stay together?” Albus asked with a touch of fear in his voice.

“Yes, we are staying together, so don’t worry about that,” Harry said, speaking before Ginny could and they shared a smile as Harry continued. “We still love each other very much so nothing will change much there.”

“So what will change?” Albus tilted his head, green eyes locked on Ginny and clearly he was a little worried about the answer.

“Well, I’m using he/him pronouns and will start taking potions to change my appearance to that of a guy. It won’t happen overnight but slowly so I’m not going to wake up one day with a beard or anything,” Ginny said, trying to lighten the serious mood with a bit of humour. At Albus’ grin he considered it a success and continued, “I’ll probably change my name to something more masculine but I haven’t decided what yet. Even when I do begin to change I will still be me. Got that?”

“Yeah, you’ve never been a very good girl to be honest. I mean you don’t act like the other mums wearing dresses and stuff so I don’t think it will be that weird if you look more like a man than you already do. No offense.”

“It's fine, I consider that a compliment,” Ginny replied with a chuckle. Albus really seemed to be taking this well and Ginny felt himself relax until Lily spoke up.

“Is it really that bad to be a girl?” Lily asked, sounding so small and hurt that Ginny felt his heart break.

“Oh Lily, there’s nothing bad about being a girl and I don’t want you to think there is,” Ginny quickly said as the guilt rose inside him.

“For Ginny being a girl wasn’t right but that doesn’t mean that you being a girl is wrong, Lils,” Harry stated, releasing Ginny’s hand to reach out for their daughter. “Girls and boys are different but neither is better than the other, it’s just what people feel more comfortable with. Would you feel happy with someone calling you a boy, or looking at you and seeing a boy?”

“No, I’d hate that. I’m a girl,” Lily all but shrieked in distress.

“Exactly but for Ginny it’s the opposite. He wants people to see him for who he is, that's all,” Harry explained calmly.

“But who’s gonna talk to me about boys and take me shopping and show me how to put on makeup?” Lily wondered aloud.

“I can still do those things Lilypad. I’ve spent most of my life trying to be a girl so I know how to do that stuff or you could ask one of your aunts.”

“I guess, it’s all just a bit confusing,” Lily admitted.

“I know but I’ll answer any questions you have and together with a bit of time things will make sense again,” Ginny promised, hoping that he would be able to keep it.

“Just take a bit of time and think on it, nothing is changing right this second,” Ginny said as he climbed to his feet and let out a small sigh. “Now I need to go and talk with James.”

“Want me to come?” Harry asked, rising but Ginny waved him back down while shaking his head.

“No, he’s angry at me so I need to be the one to fix things. If I fail then you’re welcome to have a go.”

Ginny dragged his feet as he climbed the stairs and walked to James bedroom finding the door shut. He took a deep breath and then raised a hand and knocked, the noise echoing around him while James remained silent on the other side. Trying the handle Ginny wasn’t surprised to find it locked and without a scrap of annoyance at James' use of underage magic quickly unlocked it with a muttered word and a flick of his wand.

“You know you can’t use magic outside of Hogwarts, James, and that rule hasn’t changed just because you’re angry, just like the rule about foul language,” Ginny said as he walked in and closed the door behind him.

“I don’t want to talk to you,” James grunted as he rolled onto his side and faced the wall.

“I don’t expect you do,” Ginny replied as he pulled out James' desk chair and sat down. His eyes trailed over the desk littered with his school books and a tiny golden ball. Ginny picked up the snitch and watched as the wings uncurled before letting it go, it flittered over his head and then a second later was back in his hand where he had snatched it from the air.

“So people have been giving you a hard time for being Harry’s son?” Ginny prodded, deciding this would be easier to deal with than the other issue hanging over them like a black cloud.

“Not really, but everyone expects me to be just like him,” James grunted out angrily.

“Expectations can be difficult to handle, you’re so afraid of disappointing anyone and not being good enough,” Ginny commented. He knew better than most just how hard it could be and how damaging it was when you didn’t live up to the standards of others.

“Exactly,” James said, rolling onto his back and glaring at the ceiling through slanted eyes. “So I work really hard in my classes and do extra quidditch practices but when I do succeed it doesn’t matter because obviously I can do it because Dad can. Do you have any idea how many times I’ve heard that I’m just like him? It used to feel good and I was super proud when people said it but I’m getting sick of it. Why can’t I just be me for once?”

“I can understand that, it’s annoying and frustrating when no one sees the real you and instead only what they want to see,” Ginny slyly stated, waiting for James to realize the connection.

James finally looked over at him, still scowling, “I know what you’re doing.”

“I’m sure you do, you’re a clever boy.”

Ginny grinned as James snorted in irritation and faced the ceiling again.

“It’s not the same thing,” he argued.

“Maybe, but tell me if this sounds familiar. When someone compares you to Harry you feel a spark of anger, a tiny flame in your chest that burns and you want to tell them off. Only you don’t because a part of you respects your dad, admires him and maybe you wish you could be like him but you’re not, you are you. So the little fire is smothered by guilt and shame for not wanting to be seen as him. The fire doesn’t go out but now it's smoldering, filling your chest with smoke that makes it hard to breathe as your chest grows tighter and then it slips into your head making it foggy and you don’t know if you are angry or not but you wish it would go away. That it would stop and you could just be you without any of the stress so that fire gets bigger until the only thing you can do is lash out because it is burning you inside and it hurts.”

James had gone silent and when Ginny looked up from his hands where he had been playing with the snitch he found him staring wide eyed.

“I know it’s tough and confusing James. I wish I could make it stop, really I do but I can only offer you a bit of advice. Just be yourself, don’t try and be Harry, he’s great but so is James and everyone should get a chance to see that. Now I’ll get out of your hair, dinner is at six and you’re on washing up duty for your potty mouth,” Ginny finished as he stood up and placed the now still snitch back on the desk.

As he opened the door to leave James spoke up causing Ginny to pause in the doorway.

“I’m sorry for shouting at you, Mum,” James whispered softly.

“It’s okay James and for apologising I’ll give you a hand with the washing up. We’ll talk about everything else when you’re ready so don’t worry about it now,” Ginny replied with a small smile. As he headed back downstairs he licked his dry lips and held onto the hope that he had given James something to think about. He wasn’t naive enough to think that everything would suddenly be resolved after one very short conversation, just that it would be one day.


	15. Chapter 15

“Are you sure you don’t want to come?” Harry asked and Ginny shook his head gently.

“I’m still not ready to talk to mum yet, but you and the kids have fun,” Ginny said in a whisper as the kids entered the front room. For a second his eyes met James’ and they shared an uncomfortable smile before looking away. They had spoken only once over the last few days and that had mostly consisted of James asking in several different ways if Ginny was sure about being trans. Each time Ginny replied yes he got quiet for a little while and now they were in a weird place where he was trying to accept it but not yet truly comfortable. Still it was an improvement and so long as he seemed to be coming around to the idea Ginny felt content to step back and give him that time.

“I wish you would come with us, Dad,” Albus admitted, “I just don’t like the idea of you staying here alone.”

“What if you get lonely?” Lily added as she tilted her head, “Or bored?”

“I’ll be fine. Teddy is coming over early today to keep me company and then when you get back we’ll all have dinner. I’m cooking tonight so fill up at Grandma’s house,” Ginny half joked. He could prepare simple meals but they would never match his Mum’s and he fully expected the kids to return still stuffed from too many biscuits or cakes.

“You’re cooking isn’t that bad,” Lily offered though she wouldn’t meet Ginny’s eyes as she said it and both James and Albus were trying to hide their grins behind their hands.

“It is and I own it,” Ginny declared with a shrug.

“Good for you, Dad,” Albus said with a nod while giving him a thumbs up.

Ginny still couldn’t get over how quickly Albus had taken to the change once he had been reassured that he and Harry would remain together. Unlike James, he had simply asked for a book on the subject and then walked up to Ginny the next day and stated, ‘Okay, I get it and I’d be proud to call you Dad, if that’s okay with you?’

Ginny had pulled Albus into a hug holding back tears as he said ‘it would be fine’. Lily had taken a few more days and asked a few questions, mostly about how Ginny had felt and how he felt now. It seemed that Lily’s only real concern was that Ginny was happy and once it became clear that he was much more comfortable also joined Albus in calling him Dad.

“You better get going, say hi from me and that I’ll see them soon,” Ginny mumbled as he pressed a kiss to Harry’s cheek. One by one they took a pinch of floo powder and stepped into the fireplace before calling out the Burrow.

As James reached for his he stopped and looked at Ginny. “See you later, Dad,” he said before hurriedly grabbing some powder and disappearing into the burst of green flames.

“Wow,” Ginny whispered in shock before Harry nudged his shoulder while wearing a large grin.

“I guess he’s finally coming around. I’ll admit I thought it would take longer,” Harry said as he took his floo powder and placed the bowl back on top of the mantle.

“Me too. I did catch him talking to Lily and Albus last night so I wonder if they talked him around or perhaps it just helped him clear up his own head.”

“Perhaps, either way it’s a good sign and a step forward. Take care and I’ll see you tonight,” Harry said in farewell before capturing Ginny’s mouth in a deep kiss.

“Hmm, see you then,” Ginny replied and watched as Harry vanished in the fireplace in a burst of green fire.

With a happy little smile on his face, Ginny began to tidy up the house before Teddy arrived in about an hour. He was excited to see his godson again and catch him up on the most recent developments as the last time they had spoken was just before the kids came home. Ginny had been a complete mess worrying about what they would say after he came out and if it would end as badly as it had with his Mum and had sought Teddy out for some reassurance.

An hour later, when someone knocked on the door, Ginny flicked his wand at the kettle to boil it before getting up to open the door.

“Jake, you came too,” Ginny announced as he saw the figure beside Teddy holding a familiar box in his hands and reached forward carefully to hug Jake.

“I did and I brought doughnuts. Teddy warned me about your cooking so I figured we should have something edible,” Jake teased with a wink as they pulled apart.

Ginny hadn’t seen Jake in months but he noticed the small changes that had happened in that time. For one his voice was a little deeper, still not at the level of most guys but it was different and so was his face. Ginny couldn’t put his finger on what exactly had changed, only that it seemed overall more masculine or maybe that was just Jake’s confidence shining through now he was more comfortable.

“A very wise decision,” Ginny said as he hugged Teddy and then gestured them both to come inside. Heading straight into the kitchen Ginny opened the cupboard and took out three cups while asking Jake how he took his coffee.

As he made them drinks Ginny asked Teddy questions about his apprenticeship and listened to Teddy’s answers as he placed the cups down on the table, taking his own seat. He learned that Teddy was being given a bit of a break before revision started again for the next lot of exams over the summer.

“Sounds like you’ll be busy soon then. Still don’t regret turning down the offer to be an Auror?” Ginny joked already knowing that Teddy’s answer wouldn’t have changed.

“Nope,” Teddy replied with a broad grin, his hair flashing purple before returning to blue.

“Still wish I could do that,” Jake mentioned as he glanced sideways at Teddy.

“Me too,” Ginny admitted but the envy wasn’t as strong as it once was.

“So how did the kids take it?” Teddy asked, setting down his now almost empty cup.

“Both better and worse than I expected. Albus has embraced it completely and jumped on board right away. Lilypad took a little longer but most of that I think came from losing the closest thing she had to a female presence at home. Nevertheless she’s alright with it. They even call me Dad now and I can’t describe how great that feels,” Ginny gushed with a massive smile and his heart pounding with joy.

“I noticed you didn’t mention James,” Teddy commented as he raised an eyebrow and Ginny’s smile dimmed slightly.

“He didn’t take it well. He’s a teen and dealing with his own drama, having mine on top of that was difficult for him but I’ve seen a bit of progress today just before he left. I think we’re going to be okay,” Ginny explained before swallowing and looking down at his hands wrapped tightly around his cup.

“You alright?”

Ginny looked back up at Teddy and forced himself to smile. “Yeah, it’s fine.”

Teddy stared harder and now Jake was joining in as he leaned back on his chair with his coffee held before his mouth.

“Spill the tea bro,” Jake said, tipping the cup towards Ginny.

“Having to face James’ anger and after what happened with Molly I began to wonder if maybe I shouldn’t have said anything after all. Just to be clear I don’t feel like that now but for just those brief moments the guilt hit me really hard for the affect my actions were having on them. I know I’m not responsible for their feelings and I can’t live my life based on them either but I don’t like knowing I hurt them. Even if they do come around I’ll still know that my choice caused them pain. Molly doesn’t want to lose her daughter and James is struggling with the attention he gets for being Harry’s son. I guess I just feel selfish.”

As Ginny finished talking he wiped at the tears gathering in his eyes, clearing them away before they could roll down his cheeks. Letting out a humourless chuckle Ginny glanced up at the two boys before him.

“I guess I’m still struggling with it a little,” he admitted.

“Hey, it’s okay. I get it. There were so many times when I wondered if I was doing the right thing. I constantly worried that it would hurt my parents and my little sister. She’s a few years younger and sorted into Ravenclaw, we still talk but it's awkward because we can’t let my parents find out,” Jake confessed with a sad shrug.

“That’s awful,” Ginny said, unable to imagine how he would have coped if he couldn’t talk to any of his brothers.

“It is but she’s only got a few more years until she’s legally an adult and already has plans to get her own place so we can hang out whenever and I know she wouldn’t want me to be miserable. Having her support means the world to me and gave me the strength to finally be myself but I still feel guilty for not waiting a few more years and then we could have got a place together and not worried about our folks.”

“You did what you had to, mate,” Teddy said as he patted Jake’s shoulder. “I’ve seen how much happier you’ve been in the last few months.”

“I am happier,” Jake said, lifting his chin. “But that doesn’t mean I don’t also have guilt but it's getting better. Each day I become a little bit more me and each time I meet someone who is accepting it gets a little less, y’know?”

“Yeah, I think I do. It’s still all so new for me but I can see a day when the shame will be gone. I’m holding out for that day and being able to rebuild the relationships with my Mum and James.”

The whoosh of the fireplace in the living room startled Ginny just as he reached for one of the donuts from the box that Jake had opened and pushed towards him.

“Who’s that?” Teddy asked, to which Ginny gave a look of confusion in reply.

“Mum, um, Dad,” James said as he stepped into the kitchen, his eyes going from Ginny to Teddy and then finally landing on Jake. The shock on his face was clear and he nervously shuffled on the spot not coming any further into the room.

“James? Why are you back so early? Does Harry know you’re here?”

The questions flew from Ginny’s mouth as he stepped back into parent mode.

“Uh, Dad doesn’t know I’m here but I just wanted to talk to you, I forgot you said Teddy was coming over early,” James replied running a hand through his black hair while gazing at Ginny with warm brown eyes just like his.

“It’s fine, um, James, this is Jake, a friend of Teddy’s,” Ginny offered as an introduction.

“I know you. Your win against Hufflepuff last year was savage; you almost took me off my broom when you were going for the snitch. He’s got your talent Gin and I wouldn’t be surprised if he went pro,” Jake stated as he nodded towards James with a friendly smile.

“Jessica?” James mumbled softly and silence settled around them all.

“It’s Jake now. I didn’t think you knew my name since you only played against me twice but a good player learns everything he can about his opponents I guess,” Jake chuckled as he tugged at the strings of his hoodie.

“You played on the Hufflepuff team?” Ginny asked, his mind still reeling from James’ unexpected appearance and hearing Jake’s dead name.

“Yeah, I played chaser. I’m not even close to your level but not bad if I say so myself.”

“Good enough that I was told to keep you off balance by cutting you off whenever I could. I got a bit over excited when I saw the snitch and knew I could win the game and forgot how close you were,” James said with a smirk, much more comfortable than he had been when he first arrived.

“It’s fine, I can respect a good play and I’m pretty pleased I was seen as a threat,” Jake replied with a wink.

“I’d love to see just how well you can fly, Jake, but right now I’m still waiting for an answer for you being here James. You should have at least told Harry so he doesn’t worry,” Ginny said standing up and reaching out slowly for James who remained in place as Ginny’s hand landed on his shoulder.

“I know but I had to talk to you,” James said before falling silent as he gazed at Jake and Teddy.

“Come on, we’ll go into the front room, I’ll be back soon guys,” Ginny said with a smile as he herded James into the other room. He made sure the door was closed and even threw up a silencing charm, not because he thought Teddy or Jake would listen in but to make James feel more comfortable.

“So what’s the problem?”

James shifted nervously before finally sitting down and hanging his head.

“I overheard Grandma talking to Dad, she thinks you’re just confused and that she would know if ‘her daughter’ was a boy. Dad corrected her for calling you a she but Grandma wouldn’t listen. She seems to think that it’s gonna mess up me and Albus and most of all Lily because people will talk and stuff. It was all about that, what other people would think but nothing about you and I didn’t like hearing it,” James admitted in a low grumble.

“Well she’s right, people are going to talk. I can’t stop that but I’m hoping I can keep it away from you and your siblings as much as possible,” Ginny promised, which earned him a glare from James who rose back to his feet.

“I don’t care what anyone says, not even Grandma. If she has a problem then that’s on her not you,” James shouted.

Ginny couldn’t help smiling at James; he had always had a protective streak and looked out for his siblings and cousins even if he did tease them sometimes. He could remember a much younger James looking down at Lily just after she had been born and promising he would always look after her.

As James started speaking again, his tone softer than before but still holding a trace of anger, Ginny was pulled from the memory and the emotions that were flooding him.

“I was wrong for getting angry at you but I was jealous that you were gonna be this new person and I’m stuck being me. I wanted to have that freedom too,” James stated, his hands curled into fists.

“What freedom James, is there more going on here that I don’t know about?” Ginny asked full of worry for James and what seemed to be bothering him.

“Freedom from being Harry Potter’s son. I have to be good at quidditch and be cool and be great at pranks and be smart and good at defensive spells. I am good at those things but it’s because I worked hard. That doesn’t mean I know every answer in class and sometimes I just want to go for a fly without it being practice for a match and I don’t like it when girls flirt with me, it’s gross,” James finished, his chest rising and falling quickly as he tried to breathe and fight back his tears.

“James?” Ginny whispered softly as he opened his arms and pulled James into a hug.

“I was getting ready to tell you but I didn’t want people to be disappointed in me but maybe it would make them see me differently and I could move away from Dad’s shadow a little. Then you told me you’re trans and now Dad’s gay too so I guess I’m just like him after all,” James mumbled into Ginny’s shoulder as he held on tightly to the back of Ginny’s shirt.

“Hey, it’s okay, you’re still not the same as Harry and I wish you had told me sooner but I promise you I’m not disappointed and no one else will be either.”

Ginny kept his voice soft as he stroked James' hair gently, giving soft shushing noises as he rocked his son in his arms.

“So people aren’t gonna think I’m copying Dad if I come out then or that it’s your fault?” James asked seriously as he lifted his head and looked at Ginny with red rimmed eyes.

“Only if they are really, really dumb. No one can pick their sexuality and your Dad’s bi rather than gay anyway,” Ginny gently teased, getting a snotty snort of amusement from James. With a wandless accio Ginny summoned the box of tissues from the table and offered them to James who took them with a smile of gratitude.

“So is there a boy you like or am I pushing too much?” Ginny gently inquired. By the flush rising on James’ face there was most definitely a boy involved.

“There is one boy, he’s the year above me and plays chaser for the team. He’s super funny and um, good looking,” James muttered shyly.

“He sounds nice and does he like you back?” Ginny would prefer if his kids didn’t start dating at thirteen but understood that young love was unavoidable.

“I don’t know, sometimes I think he likes me but then I wonder if he’s just being friendly with me because I’m a Potter,” James griped.

“Ah, so this ties back into not wanting to be seen as your Dad. Sounds like things have been rough.”

“Yeah but I’m feeling better.”

“I’m glad, have you talked to anyone else about this, maybe your friends?”

“I told Al and Lily last night and they encouraged me to talk to you and Dad but I was kinda worried about doing that after I shouted at you.”

“Well I’m really happy you did decide to talk to me. Do you want to go back to Grandma’s now?” Ginny asked softly as he ruffled James' hair making it even messier than usual.

“Not really, I’m still kinda annoyed at her for what she said about you though I wasn’t much better about everything,” James replied with a guilty glance at Ginny.

“But you have come around, with time I’m hoping she will too but it has to be her choice. I can’t make her change her mind and neither can Harry or you,” Ginny said sadly. “Go back into the kitchen and have a donut while I let Harry know you’re here with me.”

“Okay, Mu-Dad,” James said as he blew his nose that was still red. Ginny pulled out his wand and cast a light glamour to remove the signs that he had been crying and also dropped the silencing charm from the room.

“Thanks,” James said before heading to the kitchen.

Ginny smiled at him until he had disappeared from view and he heard Teddy’s cheerful greeting before taking some floo powder and kneeling before the fire.

Throwing in the powder he called out the Burrow and stuck his head in the flames.

“Hello,” he called from the flames as he looked around the cozy sitting room looking for anyone. Thankfully finding his Dad and Albus playing a game of wizarding chess and from the frown lines on Arthur’s forehead Albus was winning.

“Hey, firecracker, what’s up?”

“Hey Dad, can you let Harry know that James came back and is staying with me today,” Ginny informed him with a smile, feeling both guilty and pleased that he hadn’t found his mother when he firecalled.

“I will do. Harry and Lily are looking outside for him thinking he decided to go for a fly. Is everything alright with him?”

“Yeah, he’s fine.”

Ginny didn’t want to say more than that because it was up to James who he wanted to tell.

“Good, that’s good,” Arthur said and Ginny wondered if he knew what had upset James originally. Ginny couldn’t ask so instead he quickly signed off after telling them to enjoy their game.

He remained on his knees for a few minutes, just taking a bit of time to let his heart return to its normal pace before heading into the kitchen. Grabbing one of the donuts he smiled at Teddy when he handed him a new hot cup of coffee. Then Ginny settled in and listened to Jake and James discussing this year’s quidditch teams and James’ conviction that Gryffindor would once again win the house cup.


	16. Chapter 16

Ginny turned as he heard the fire flare to life, forgetting about the thick slice of crusty bread he was buttering to smile at Albus and Lily as they entered the kitchen followed by Harry.

"What about Greg?" James said, barely paying attention to the intrusion of his family on the conversation they were having.

"Who’s Greg?" Harry asked in confusion before his eyes landed on Jake and he frowned harder. 

"Me, maybe," Ginny answered with a grimace, "James has decided he wants to be helpful and has been suggesting new names for me."

"Not Greg," Harry said with a shake of his head and Ginny suspected he was remembering Gregory Goyle from their school days.

"Not Greg," Ginny agreed as he stepped away from his task to place a kiss to Harry's cheek in greeting. 

"Harry, this is Jake, Teddy's roommate that wants to join the Aurors next year," Ginny explained when Harry's eyes drifted back to the stranger sitting at the table. In a second Harry's expression relaxed and he held out a hand to Jake with a warm smile.

"It's great to meet you, Teddy's mentioned you a few times and that you might join us for dinner. I wasn't expecting it to be today," Harry said as he shook Jake's hand.

"Yeah, Ted said it would be fine or I would have checked with you guys first," Jake muttered nervously.

"Relax, it's perfectly alright. I know Gin offered you the invitation to join us anytime," Harry commented and Ginny grinned as Jake's shoulders relaxed. 

"Are you a trans person like Dad?" Albus asked, earning a cough of disapproval from Harry for being blunt. Jake however just chuckled at the question and offered out his hand for Albus to shake too.

"I am, but I'm also a massive quidditch fan and proud Hufflepuff," Jake replied cheerfully.

“And really cute,” Lily added even as she blushed, making Jake turn red too.

"Great, another quidditch fan, just what we needed," Albus stated sarcastically while rolling his eyes. Ginny was almost positive that his attitude came from his friendship with Malfoy's son but didn't mention that as everyone else snorted a laugh. It was pretty harmless sass and worth the clear enjoyment Albus found in the other Slytherin boys' company. 

"Nothing wrong with that," James said loudly with a frown at Albus before turning back to Ginny, "what about Grant or Griffin?"

Ginny raised an eyebrow at James' newest suggestion before shaking his head.

"I don't think so, I mean they’re cool and all but not sure if they're me," Ginny said worried that he would offend James if he outright said he didn't like his suggestions. 

"Is there a reason you're only suggesting names that start with G?" Albus asked as he took a seat next to James.

"Because Jake's old name started with a J so I thought mum's new name should start with a G?" James explained with a shrug, “sorry, Dad’s. I’m still not used to that.”

Ginny just gave James a smile, pleased that he was trying at all.

"Not everyone chooses a name similar to their old one, some people like to have something completely different or that holds a certain special meaning to them," Jake pointed out.

Ginny opened his mouth to back Jake up but then remembered the soup bubbling away on the stove.

"Oh, Merlin!" Ginny shouted as he turned around and quickly began stirring the vegetable soup while praying it wasn't burnt. Luckily, it was fine and Ginny let out a relieved breath as Harry stepped up behind him.

"Want me to take over while you finish the bread to go with it?" Harry offered. Ginny gave him a small nod knowing that Harry would be able to season the soup perfectly.

"Didn't Aunt Mione send a book of baby names? Maybe we can look through that for ideas?" Lily mentioned quietly her eyes darting to Jake and then away.

"That's not a bad idea, I'll go grab it," Albus said jumping up from his seat and racing out of the room.

Ginny had almost forgotten about the book that had arrived last week from Hermione along with a note wishing him luck in telling the kids. She had suggested asking the children to help him pick as it might help them feel more comfortable with everything. Ginny had thought it was a good idea but had been waiting for James to come around before voicing it, now it seemed that everyone was eager to help him through the next step of his transition.

With a small smile and his chest full of warmth Ginny watched his kids, along with Teddy and Jake study the name book. They discussed a few amongst themselves, quickly dismissing one's based on its meaning or who they knew that shared that name. 

"What about Flinn?" Albus said after a minute as Ginny reached for bowls to serve the soup in.

"Fin? Isn't that part of a fish?" He replied in confusion.

"Flinn, it sort of sounds like Gin and funnily enough it means son of a red haired man which you are," Albus explained and Ginny chuckled at the smirk on his face.

"So are you, and James and Lily. Should I change all your names to Flinn then?" Ginny joked back as he handed the bowls one by one to Harry to fill before setting them on the table.

"Alright, that's fair," Albus admitted.

"What sort of name do you want, something like Ginny or one with a special meaning?" Lily asked while Ginny grabbed the plate of bread to go along with the soup.

"I don't know. I don't really care if it starts with a G or sounds like Ginny. I think I'd rather have something with a meaning but since you are helping me to pick then it will already have meaning to me," Ginny stated as he took his seat between Harry and Teddy.

“Well, what about something to do with fire since Granddad calls you firecracker?” Lily suggested as she played with her food and kept glancing over at Jake. Ginny paused in dipping his bread to give a tiny head shake. Poor Lily seemed to be crushing hard on Jake and would be upset when she found out he already had a girlfriend.

“There are loads of brill names that mean fire,” James said as he pulled the book towards him and began calling out names, “Aiden, Brenton, Kenneth. There’s a Kenny in my year and he’s pretty chill.”

With a smile Ginny reached out for the book, taking it off James and closing it, “I really do appreciate your eagerness to help James but I don’t think I’ll find something that fits by picking one out of a book,” Ginny told him gently.

“Why not make a game of it?” Teddy said calmly.

“That’s not a bad idea. I mean I know you have to take this seriously but putting loads of pressure on the decision just causes stress. So each of you three pick a letter and Ginny can pick the one that he thinks fits the best,” Jake reasoned, “of course if you don’t like any of them then you can try again but it’ll narrow it down.”

“Alright, let’s give it a go,” Ginny said with a casual air.

“A,” James said first.

“T,” said Lily softly.

“L,” Albus finished.

Ginny tilted his head as he considered each letter that had been given before picking James’ choice.

“I like A.”

“Alright,” Jake began, “Now everyone picks a name starting with that letter.” 

“Umm, Alexander,” James said, “I think you could be an Alex.”

“I liked Aiden,” Albus stated with confidence.

“Uh, Andrew,” Lily said.

To buy time Ginny took another spoonful of soup and thought hard about the choices but still wasn’t sure which to pick.

“I actually like all those names,” Ginny finally said after thinking the names over.

“Well then try them out. How does Alexander Potter sound or Alex Potter? Hey, Alex,” Teddy said adding a wave.

Blinking Ginny searched to see how he felt about it before shrugging in reply.

“Okay, Aiden Potter-,” Jake started but stopped when Ginny frowned.

“That would be a no then,” Harry chuckled. “That leaves Andrew Potter.”

“Andy Potter,” James jumped in shortening the name which made Ginny smile. He kept smiling as he considered the name.

“I think we have a winner,” Harry said gently as he reached out and covered Ginny’s hand that still held his spoon.

“It’s a good name,” Teddy commented as Jake nodded in agreement.

Lily had reached across the table and picked back up the book of baby names, thumbing through the pages until she found what she was looking for.

“Andrew means brave. You are really brave, Dad,” Lily said with a large grin. Ginny was pretty sure there were plenty of people out there that were braver than him, including Harry. However in making the decision to be true to himself Ginny had found a new type of bravery and he had to agree that it was a good name.

“Thanks Lily. So you guys all think I could be Andy?” Ginny asked nervously, paying extra attention to Harry’s reaction. He was staring hard at Ginny, brow drawn down in concentration but the expression was softened by a soft smile.

“I think you are Andy,” Harry declared as he reached out to cup Andy’s face gently and draw him into a tender kiss.

“Yuck,” James and Albus said at the same time which caused both Andy and Harry to start laughing. It ruined the kiss but not the happiness that was filling up Andy at being another step closer to who he was meant to be.

However with that taken care of Harry’s attention turned to James and his reasons for leaving Molly’s?

“So James, why didn’t you want to stay at grandma’s house? If you wanted to come home you should have at least told me so I didn’t worry,” Harry said as he sent their bowls to fly into the sink with a wave of his hand.

“Oh, right. Um,” James stuttered, shooting a glance at Andy and then everyone else around the table.

“It’s alright,” Albus whispered as he patted his brother on the back reassuringly. Harry merely looked confused as he looked over at Andy with his eyebrows hidden under his messy fringe.

“Am I missing something?” Harry asked but Andy remained silent. He wasn’t sure if he should interrupt and offer the other explanation for James’ disappearance from Molly’s or give his son a chance to open up. After a few more minutes of James staring at the table while Albus and Lily whispered words of encouragement to him Andy decided to divert the attention from him. There was a chance that if some of the pressure was gone he would feel comfortable enough to come out.

“He overheard you talking to my mum and discovered that he didn’t like seeing the same attitude he had coming from someone else, even another member of the family,” Andy explained.

Harry let out a huff of air as he reached up and tugged at his hair in what Andy thought was frustration.

“She loves you, it’s so obvious she loves you but she’s still having trouble coming to terms with you wanting to transition. At least she’s been reading up on it which has opened up her mind a little but she doesn’t think anything really needs to change,” Harry muttered in exasperation, something Andy was also experiencing.

“I know not everyone feels the need to transition with potions and I’m happy for those that are perfectly content simply changing pronouns but I wouldn’t be. It’s not something I can control anymore than I can control being trans in the first place but I don’t know how to explain that to her,” Andy complained aloud.

He wished it could all be easy, with love and acceptance being connected in a way that was irrefutable but that’s not how life worked. He knew his mum loved him, that she still worried about him even now that he was older and a parent himself but she couldn’t love who he truly was. It was a hard realisation for Andy to have but he had and there was very little he could do about it. He would not, could not deny his own needs for the sake of someone else just so they would be more comfortable. For years he lived like that and the idea of continuing to do so was painful enough to bring tears to his eyes.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Harry whispered as he placed an arm around Andy’s back. “Everything will be fine. She doesn’t know what an amazing guy you are yet but she will one day.”

“Harry’s right. The beginning is the worst bit but it gets better and you learn to let go of the people that don’t support you. I’m still holding out hope that my parents will come around but whether they do or not isn’t going to hold me back from becoming the person I want to be,” Jake advised with a sombre smile.

“I can almost understand her behaviour but I honestly thought she would have handled it better than this. Molly has always been so loving and kind and protective over all of us,” Teddy added as he crossed his arms and his hair turned to a sickly green.

“If she wants to protect Dad then why isn’t she helping him? Grandma is just making it harder for him to be happy by trying to stop Dad from changing,” James argued which got everyone’s attention.

Andy knew what Harry was thinking when he glanced over at him with a tilt of his head. James had certainly done a one eighty on his attitude towards Andy’s transition but he wasn’t going to tell Harry the reasons why when James still didn’t seem ready to tell everyone.

“I know what you’re thinking,” James grunted catching their shared look, “I’ve said sorry to Dad for the way I acted. I don’t want to be like Grandma and make Dad feel guilty and stuff.”

“I’m glad you feel that way,” Harry said proudly.

“Now tell him the rest,” Albus urged, which got him not only a glare from James but a punch in the arm.

“The rest?” Harry repeated.

“All right fine,” James snapped before slumping in his seat and not meet anyone’s eyes, “I’m, um, gay.”

There was a pause as Harry’s eyes widened for a moment and Andy noticed that Jake and Teddy also looked slightly taken aback. However it didn’t last as Harry smiled gently and shrugged his shoulders.

“I’m glad you told us but surely you knew that we wouldn’t have a problem with it,” Harry said, peering at James with concern.

“Yeah, I knew and I was gonna tell you but with Dad deciding to transition into a guy I’m gonna have to listen to everyone say you’re gay. I was a bit worried that if I came out too people might think I’m lying or confused or something,” James mumbled.

“That’s dumb,” Jake said as he rolled his eyes, “Anyone who thinks like that is a moron.”

“I agree,” Teddy said as his hair slowly began to fade back to blue. “No one can choose their sexuality or their gender.”

Teddy smiled as he lifted his glass high into the air, “To being yourself,” he declared in a toast.

Andy grinned as everyone around the table picked up their own glasses and joined in raising them upwards repeating Teddy’s words so that they became a loud and messy rally cry.

Surrounded with his family’s acceptance and after seeing James own bravery Andy decided he was ready to start taking the potions he needed to transition and he wouldn’t let the heartbreak of his Mum’s disapproval stop him.

“I want to start taking the potions,” Andy mumbled to himself unaware that anyone had heard him.

“What was that?” Harry asked as everyone grew silent.

“I want to start taking the potions to transition,” Andy repeated louder this time as he stared into Harry’s bright green eyes. Harry paused for only a second before giving him a lopsided smile and kissing him briefly on the lips.

“Then do it,” Harry replied confidently and Andy smiled wider before pulling Harry into a deeper kiss.

“Eurgh, will you guys stop that,” James demanded.

“If I must,” Andy said, releasing Harry as Teddy began speaking.

“I can help you out if you want to go onto the potions. I know exactly who you need to talk to and can probably get you an appointment in the next few weeks.”

“That would be great. I don’t really know much about how it works since most of the books I read were muggle,” Andy confessed shyly.

“I can help too. We can meet up before your appointment and I can tell you what to expect,” Jake blurted out.

“Thank you Jake, I’d like that,” Andy replied, “I just hope I can find the time for all this stuff. This week seems to have raced by. The kids go back to school tomorrow and I’m going to be rushed off my feet with the world cup approaching fast,” Andy grumbled. He was already tired and wasn’t looking forward to staying up late to read reports and edit articles for the next few months while also beginning his physical transition. He would also have to come out at work and begin the long process of legally changing his name and title on all his documents.

“You can do it, we believe in you,” Albus said and both James and Lily nodded in agreement.

“Thank you,” Andy sniffed while holding back his tears. “I’m very lucky to have you three on my side.”

“We know,” James teased, breaking the tension as Andy laughed feeling light and full of excitement about what was to come. 


	17. Chapter 17

Andy clutched the acceptance letter in his hands as he waited to be seen by the healer again. It had taken a few sessions where he had talked about everything before he had been given the all clear to receive the potion needed to begin transitioning but it had been worth it because today was the day.

“I’m really happy for you,” Teddy said as he sat beside Andy with a smile of encouragement.

“I just can’t believe this is really happening,” Andy chuckled, the emotions running through him dancing between nervousness and excitement. After he had made the decision to move forward a month ago things had been tough, in particular coming out to his boss and coworkers. Mr Cuffe had naturally been surprised before jumping at the chance to break the story on the front page, his eyes shining as he talked about ratings and the controversy of the topic.

Andy had quickly and clearly shot down that idea with a firm scowl. He didn’t want to be a tool to pull in readers or the target of debate. However he did agree to do a small piece eventually for the sake of increasing awareness within the magical community after he was further into his transition so that others who might be struggling would know they are not alone.

A week later when he came out to his work mates they hadn’t been so thrilled at first with a few of them making jokes about how working in a testosterone filled environment was the cause of his changed gender. However Nicolas had been more than ready to put a stop to that and express his support as he gave Andy a salute and continued to call him boss just like he always had. Earl on the other hand still wasn’t comfortable with the situation but, so long as he didn’t say anything offensive and got his work done, Andy was prepared to accept his different view.

However all of that paled in comparison to Andy’s battle to be seen by a healer and receive access to the transition potions but now he was finally getting his first dose of what would be many more.

“Mr Potter, the Healer will see you now,” a mediwitch said softly from the front desk across from Andy. 

“Great,” Andy said as he rose to his feet, his heart jumping into his throat before sinking back down to his stomach.

“Good luck,” Teddy whispered, “I’ll be waiting for you here and then we’ll go grab a coffee.”

“Sounds like a plan and thank you for being here,” Andy replied before walking quickly into the healer’s office.

Teddy had been a massive help, collecting the forms Andy needed to fill out and checking them for mistakes to prevent him from having to complete them again. Andy had spent hours ticking boxes and writing out his reasons for wanting the potion in triplicate just to get to this point but it was about to pay off.

“Mr Potter, it’s nice to see you again,” the healer said as he stood up and offered his hand to Andy.

“You too, Healer Dankworth. Today’s the day,” Andy said cheerfully as he failed to contain his eagerness. Dankworth was a tall and slim man, with long silver hair that was tied back from his lined face. Andy had been intimidated by his strict attitude and very deep voice but when he smiled it transformed him and Andy soon realised that Healer Dankworth was just very serious about his work rather than unfriendly.

“It is, but first I just need to run through everything one last time then you simply have to sign a form to say you understand all the information I’ve given you,” Healer Dankworth explained calmly.

“Alright, let’s go,” Andy stated as he took a seat and waited for the healer to begin.

“As you already know these potions must be taken once a month for three years in order to become permanent and completely change your sex from female to male. If for whatever reason you miss a dose then simply be sure to take it as soon as possible and adjust the time of your next potion so that they are about four weeks apart. If you decide to stop taking the potions permanently the changes will reverse slightly but you will never return to your previous state. Since this potion is heavily based on polyjuice potion the risks are similar for prolonged use. This is why the potion is given in small doses over a long period of time. Overuse of this potion is similar to polyjuice in that it can cause damage to your magical core and body. With polyjuice the forced change puts serious pressure on the skin, bones and organs, to avoid that transition potions gently change a person over time and fix the changes into place. The flexibility of polyjuice that allows people to change back and forth is the main cause of later issues that are rarely seen in those that use transitioning potions unless they go on and off them repeatedly. This is why so much importance is put onto completing the course of potions and being sure about your decision before beginning. I’m aware that you are confident in your choice and have passed our mental health exams but I must ask once more are you prepared to begin the process or have you changed your mind.”

Andy shifted on his chair; nothing the healer had said was new information. He knew that there were possible risks to using the potion even if he was careful. Everything came with a price, a risk or challenge but he had already decided that it was worth it.

“Yes, I’m ready to begin,” Andy declared, holding his head up high and his gaze on the healer steady.

“Then please sign here,” Healer Dankworth said with a broad smile as he handed Andy a single form and a long white quill.

With his hand trembling with excitement Andy wrote his name. He’d had plenty of practice on the other forms writing his new name and no longer hesitated over the first letter.

"Wonderful,” the Healer said as he took the form back and with a wave of his wand sent it to a filing cabinet in the back corner. Next he reached into the drawer of his desk and pulled out a small glass vial filled with a liquid that was blue like a clear summer sky.

“This is your first dose. You’ll come back once a month for the rest and will have a general check up each time so that we can keep an eye on how the changes are affecting your body and ensure there are no problems,” Healer Dankworth explained as he passed Andy the vial.

“Also please be patient. The potion will work but changes will take time to appear, in particular outside changes,” Healer Dankworth cautioned and Andy gave a nod of understanding as he uncorked the vial with a pop.

Andy knew that it would be months before anything noticeable occurred, but that didn’t make this moment any less monumental for him. He knew from previous discussions that the first noticeable changes would be to his voice followed quickly by his genitals similar to muggle testosterone. Jake had been transitioning for about eight months and despite his age was on a similar dosage as they were both adults with stable magical cores. Therefore the changes Jake had experienced were motivation enough for Andy to have faith in the future. He had waited 36 years to be himself and would wait an extra three if it meant that in the end the person inside matched the outside.

With a smile at Healer Dankworth Andy licked his dry lips and then swallowed down the potion. Jake had told Andy that his potion tasted like overripe fruit, tart and almost sour, but Andy’s tasted earthier. The closest he could compare it to would be grass, the taste of cut grass mixed with a burst of tart cherries.

Since each potion is designed specifically for each person Andy wasn’t overly surprised to find they tasted differently. This type of magic wasn't something that could be generalized, since its purpose was very different to something like polyjuice. For that all you needed was a piece of the person you wanted to be, but the transitioning potion used the drinker as its base and then alternated it to turn them into the opposite sex. Andy would still be Andy, his personality and magic unaffected as the potion basically rewrote his genes to what they should have been in the beginning.

A minute passed and Andy thought that he could almost feel the potion working, like a warm tingle that was spreading through his body. However that was likely just his imagination and the general pulse of magic entering his system.

“You might be a little tired today and suffer from very mild aches and pains for a few weeks. There is nothing to worry about unless the pain increases or seems worse than expected, in that case please come and see me as soon as possible,” Healer Dankworth said as he took back the now empty vial.

“I will, thank you again. You don’t know how much this means to me,” Andy said as he stood and reached out to shake the Healer’s hand.

“Believe me I do,” Dankworth replied as he took Andy’s hand in both of his and offered a rare but sincere smile.

Leaving the room, Andy felt like he was floating and that the weight of the world had been lifted from his shoulders.

“All done?” Teddy asked as he rose from his seat at Andy’s appearance. “How do you feel?”

“Amazing. I know that nothing has really changed but just knowing I’m that little bit closer makes me feel like I’ve accomplished something.”

“Probably because you have. You’ve taken another step forward and that is something to be celebrated. Why don’t we grab something sweet along with our coffee?”

“Yes please, I’m gonna need it since I have to go back to work afterwards. There’s less than three months before the quidditch world cup takes place in Italy and a ton of things to prepare before then.”

“I hear that, my exams are months away but already I’m stressing about them and whether I’ll remember everything or even anything,” Teddy said with a chuckle.

“Exactly, I’ll also have the kids home for the summer and the more work I can get done now the more time I’ll get to spend with them. It’s the only thing keeping me motivated at this point,” Andy admitted. It wasn’t that he didn’t like his job, in fact he would be lost without it and how it kept him connected to quidditch which would always be a large part of his life. However he did also want to see his children and do things as a family which unfortunately meant putting more work in now to get some time off later.

“Speaking of your kids, I saw James last weekend,” Teddy mentioned as they left St Mungo’s and walked along the London streets towards a nearby café.

“Really? What were you doing at Hogwarts?”

“I wasn’t at Hogwarts; I went to Hogsmeade to meet Victoire. Jake came too so he could see his sister and Molly. Both Victoire and Hayley, Jake's sister, know about him and Molly dating so we all hang out together near the shrieking shack. People are still scared to go there so we get a bit of privacy. James turned up there, holding hands with one of his friends,” Teddy commented with a raised eyebrow at Andy.

“A friend,” Andy said, trying to sound nonchalant.

“Alright, boyfriend” Teddy continued as he nudged Andy’s shoulder.

“Boyfriend? Is he out to everyone then?” Andy asked knowing he shouldn’t be prying into James' life but unable to help it.

“He’s told a few of his close friends but that’s it, no one else knows he's gay or that he has a boyfriend.”

“And what do you think about his boyfriend?” Andy probed. He and Harry had never set limits on their kids when it came to dating but thirteen was very young to be in a relationship.

Teddy, clearly reading Andy’s mind grinned in amusement, “He seems sweet. He’s a bit shy but when he comes out of his shell he’s pretty funny and it’s clear that he’s smitten with James. He was telling us a funny story about James and to shut him up James kissed his cheek. I didn’t know anyone but a Weasley could turn that red-faced. Honestly I don’t think you have anything to worry about,” Teddy said as he pulled open the door to the café and waved Andy through.

“I’m not really worried about him dating, I'm worried what the other kids might say. I don’t want James getting hurt or into trouble if someone starts something.”

“Times have changed, there are still people who are closed minded about that stuff but most of them don’t care. More and more kids are proud of who they are and even more have family or friends that are a part of the LGBTQ+ community. James' boyfriend for instance has two mums and is open about his sexuality and is helping James to be more comfortable too without pushing him,” Teddy explained while Andy placed their orders.

“I wish things had been like that when Charlie was at Hogwarts,” Andy uttered. Charlie had never felt comfortable being open and still rarely dated though living in a country that wasn’t very welcoming didn’t help that. He could have moved somewhere more accepting but his passion was for dragons and he refused to give it up. Regardless, Charlie was happy with his choice and there was still time for him to meet someone if that’s what he wanted.

“I know. Victoire has never felt ashamed to tell people she’s bi and even Dominique is confident with being asexual even though things are made more difficult by her veela heritage,” Teddy commented with a sigh.

“Veela allure is a nightmare when you don’t want attention,” Andy agreed. However, even without that Dominique would get attention anyway since she was a very attractive girl with a sweet personality that seemed to draw people to her.

“Yep, but she has some amazing friends which is all she wants,” Teddy finished as he collected their drinks and pastries before walking over to a table in the corner.

“I’m glad she’s happy,” Andy said before taking his first sip of coffee. “It seems all you youngsters are doing well and thriving.”

“And we have you old folks to thank for that,” Teddy teased with a wink.

“Cheeky boy, I’m not too old to teach you a lesson,” Andy replied before glancing at his watch, “Speaking of lessons when are you due back at St Mungos?”

“Tomorrow, I have today off but I’m meeting Jake in a few hours. We’re going to the cinema to watch Avengers’ Endgame.”

“James and Albus would be so jealous hearing that. They're both desperate to see it,” Andy mentioned before relaxing into a conversation with Teddy about superheroes and his theories about what would happen in the film.


	18. Chapter 18

Andy stirred sluggishly at the tickling sensation of Harry’s fingers running along the length of his arm before reaching and grasping his hand. As he blinked his eyes open and glared at the bright sunlight sneaking in through a gap in the curtains Harry lifted his hand and pressed a kiss to the palm of Andy’s hand.

“Morning, love,” Harry said, his voice deeper than usual so that it was almost a growl in Andy’s ear.

“Hmm, morning,” Andy replied softly as he twisted his head and gave Harry a smile.

The kiss was expected and greatly welcomed even with their combined morning breath Andy still found enjoyment in the slide of their lips and the teasing of the tongue that moved against his. If not for the growing discomfort in Andy’s neck he would have been content to continue kissing Harry until lunchtime but soon the ache became too much and he pulled away.

As he rolled onto his back Andy reached up and wrapped an arm around Harry’s neck and pulled him back down, more awake than before and free to move Andy took the opportunity to take charge of the kiss. His lips pressed harder as his tongue slipped past Harry’s lips to tease and entice, drawing a low moan from Harry in the process.

Without breaking the kiss Andy lifted up onto his elbow and twisted Harry onto his back before he used a leg to pin him in place. Finally satisfied, Andy pulled back and took a gasp of air as he licked his wet lips and gazed down at his husband. Harry’s cheeks were slightly flushed, his chest moving quickly as he panted and his green eyes darkened with desire. It was a look that excited Andy as it held the promise of pleasure that would curl his toes and leave him floating in ecstasy.

“How long do we have?” Andy asked, his tone husky with desire.

“At least a few hours before we have to pick Lily up from the Burrow,” Harry replied, even as his hand began to skim over Andy’s hip. His fingers paused to grip for a moment as he pulled Andy closer to give his neck tiny sweet kisses. Andy let out a small moan and closed his eyes at the pleasant sensation moving closer so that he was half leant on Harry who began to nibble at the sensitive skin.

Andy could feel his desire growing as his clit tingled and throbbed but his boxers remained dry. He had just had his third dose of the potion and as the healer had said the changes began internally first. His womb had shrunk, slowly being erased while his passage had narrowed and no longer created any form of discharge. Instead his clit had grown, only a fraction so far, and become incredibly sensitive to even the slightest of touches. That didn’t prevent Andy’s hips from shifting, thrusting softly against Harry’s thigh as the need to seek out pleasure intensified.

Harry must have felt his arousal, the small hard bump as it rubbed against him and he grabbed at the collar of Andy’s top to expose his shoulder to continue sucking and biting at his skin.

“I want you,” Harry rasped into Andy’s ear after leaving behind what Andy was sure would be a deep red hickey on the top of his shoulder. In truth he didn’t mind, nor did he have any objections to Harry’s words because Andy wanted Harry too.

Slowly Andy trailed his free hand down Harry’s chest; his other arm still curled behind Harry’s neck and circled a bare nipple with the tip of his finger. They weren’t a particularly erroneous zone for Harry but the dark flesh still puckered and hardened under Andy’s gentle touch. It could hardly be called a tease but as Andy’s confidence grew so did his desire to draw out their moments of intimacy. With children and work often taking up a large amount of their time and energy their sex life had waned over the years, but with each day that passed Andy found himself craving more physical affection from Harry.

Pulled back to the present Andy gasped as a hand wormed its way up the leg of his boxers as Harry cupped his arse cheek and squeezed. The very tip of a finger brushed his hole and Andy felt it flutter in anticipation. However there was something he wanted more than to feel Harry’s cock fill him up and hit the budding bundle of nerves that was forming with each dose of potion.

“I want to touch you,” Andy muttered as he shifted back, drawing away from the hands he wanted to continue sliding over his body. While Harry gazed up at him Andy moved so that he could straddle Harry and press both his hands on Harry’s chest, enjoying the rapid beating of the heart under his palm.

“Then touch me,” Harry muttered with a smile and his eyes glazed with lust as he covered Andy’s hands and guided them to move over his heated skin. Rather than explain what he had meant with words, Andy pulled back, shifting more so that he was now kneeling between Harry’s spread legs.

With his gaze firmly on Harry’s for any hint of disapproval or dislike he trailed a hand over the bulge in Harry’s boxer shorts and then continued lower. Rotating his wrist Andy pressed a finger to Harry’s still covered entrance for just a second before pulling away.

“Oh,” Harry uttered as realization dawned and his eyes widened with what Andy thought might be worry.

“Never mind, just forget about it,” Andy quickly said as he shook his head and then gave Harry an embarrassed smile. It had only been an idea, something he had wanted to try but he didn’t want to make Harry feel uncomfortable if he wasn’t interested in experimenting.

“No, I mean,” Harry blurted out before falling silent and looking away. In the fifteen years they had been married Andy had rarely seen Harry look embarrassed but he clearly was now as he swallowed nervously with his cheeks turning redder by the second.

“It was just a suggestion. You can think about it for a while before deciding if you would like to try something different,” Andy offered as Harry remained silent in the hopes of holding onto the mood they had created with their previous actions. Andy possibly should have approached the whole thing differently but starting a conversation with Harry about it would have been even more awkward than this was.

“I have thought about it,” Harry admitted in a gentle whisper as he looked back at Andy. “In fact it was probably one of the first thoughts I had when you came out to me. I wasn’t sure if you would want that but there was a chance so I considered it.”

“Ok, and what decision did you come to?” Andy asked as his arousal began to build once more at the possibility.

“I guess I want to try it just to see what it would be like,” Harry offered shyly before tracing his lips with his tongue. Andy could almost feel the nerves radiating from Harry and in an effort to relax him leaned down and kissed his spit slicked lips. Keeping this kiss softer Andy hoped to give Harry a bit of reassurance and ease away some of his worries.

“We’ll take it slow and if you don’t enjoy it then I’ll stop, alright?”

Harry’s head moved a fraction in the smallest of nods but Andy could feel his rapid breath on his lips. Luckily they had time and determined to help Harry calm down and give him only pleasure Andy began kissing him again. They continued to do nothing but kiss for several minutes while Andy ran his hands over Harry’s body, from the hair that curled at the base of his neck to his cock that was growing harder with each stroke over the stretched fabric of his boxers.

“Nice and slow,” Andy promised again as his hand drifted lower, his finger brushing over the hole still hidden and protected by the thin layer of cloth. Harry did tense a little at the sensation but when he didn’t say anything or move away Andy continued his soft touches while also licking around one nipple before sucking on the pebbled flesh.

It had the desired effect as Harry seemed to forget about Andy’s finger and his eyes dropped closed in bliss. Once again Andy waited for a few minutes to pass before letting his hand sneak inside Harry’s boxers, first to stroke over his cock and fondle his balls before moving lower and tracing the puckered circle of his arsehole.

At the first touch Harry jumped slightly and Andy stilled his finger until Harry spoke up.

“Don’t stop,” he gasped out and Andy, encouraged by his words, pressed harder so that it began to open under his probing.

“Lube,” Andy whispered softly. “Conjure some lube. It’ll feel so much better.”

Harry’s eyes opened for a moment and he stared at Andy before muttering out the needed incantation. Andy might know the spell but unfortunately couldn’t yet cast it wandlessly and he silently promised himself that if this went well he would learn to.

With his fingers now slicked, Andy traced Harry’s entrance a few times to spread the lube before pressing forward with his middle finger. He reached the first knuckle easily but didn’t want to rush and possibly turn Harry off ever doing this again so he pulled back. Then trusting only that little way in he worked Harry open more, twisting his finger occasionally and hungrily watching the expression of enjoyment on Harry’s face.

Andy had always liked pleasuring Harry, seeing him fall apart under him but this was something else as he sunk his finger even deeper making Harry’s mouth drop open in a groan.

“I’m going to try two fingers, okay?” Andy said clearly and waited until Harry answered, grunting out an okay even as he bit down on his lip and stared at Andy with burning eyes.

With the knowledge of his own changing body Andy crooked his fingers and found Harry’s prostate, rubbing gently on the bundle of nerves. Harry’s reaction was mesmerizing, his eyes screwed tightly shut as his mouth dropped open to let out a half gasped groan. Andy had always known that Harry enjoyed their sex life but this seemed to be something more powerful. Even without being touched himself Andy’s breathing grew heavier as he watched Harry falling apart and longed to be able to slide his cock into the tight passage where his fingers currently were.

Carefully, Andy slowly began to thrust his fingers, ensuring he continued to brush over Harry’s prostate before lowering his head and mouthing at Harry’s cock. Even covered by his boxers Andy could almost taste his precum as he sucked on the dampened cotton and delighted in every twitch from his ministrations.

“Fuck, stop,” Harry said in a breathless cry and Andy froze in place as a spark of fear shot through him. As Harry shifted Andy removed his fingers and inched back on his knees, his disappointment beginning to build now the shock was wearing off. However rather than look upset Harry’s eyes were glazed with lust and Andy continued to stare as he pushed down his boxers and eventually managed to get them off. Andy’s eyes followed the path they took through the air as Harry chucked them away and returned to his previous position, knees bent up and spread with Andy kneeling between them.

“Touch me again please,” Harry begged as his eyes once more fell closed, which meant he didn’t see the smile that spread over Andy’s face as he reached out again. This time he could see his fingers disappearing, the slightly darker ring of skin stretching as he pressed deeper. He had always considered himself to have an exciting and fulfilling sex life but this moment was somehow better than anything he had experienced before.

It wasn’t about power or holding a more dominant position, Andy could do that regardless of what position they were in. It was about the trust Harry had in him and how unguarded his reactions were as he got lost in the pleasure completely. Leaning forward again Andy wrapped his lips around the head of Harry’s cock and flicked his tongue over the leaking slit while his fingers continued to thrust.

The bitter taste on his tongue flooded his mouth with saliva that dribbled down the shaft as he widened his mouth and swallowed more of Harry’s cock.

“Fuck,” Harry hissed as his hips thrust up, his hole tightening for a moment before relaxing and Andy increased the speed of his thrusts. With a strong suck Andy knew that Harry wouldn’t last much longer, the stuttered breaths that filled the room around them a clear sign much like the tensing of Harry’s muscles. As if Harry’s orgasm was like a spring Andy continued to wind it up until it inevitably broke.

Harry’s cock pulsed in his mouth as come hit Andy’s throat and coated his tongue in warm salty liquid. Andy swallowed it quickly as he gently removed his hand and gazed down at Harry’s blissed out expression. Reaching out his clean hand, Andy brushed back the curls stuck with sweat to Harry’s forehead and then trailed his fingers over his flushed heated cheek.

“Fucking hell,” Harry muttered as he opened his eyes groggily and locked them with Andy’s. Despite the situation, Andy snorted out a laugh at Harry’s response and braced himself on his hand as he captured Harry’s mouth in a kiss. For just a moment Andy wondered if Harry could taste himself on Andy’s tongue and what he would eventually taste like once his transition was complete.

“So trying it out was a good idea then?” Andy asked teasingly, chuckling again when Harry attempted to glare at him.

“Yes, it was a good idea,” Harry agreed after a moment, no longer miffed over Andy’s comment.

“Then you would be interested in exploring it more in the future?” Andy queried, trying not to get his hopes up too much.

“In the future but right now-,” Harry’s words cut off as he grappled Andy and rolled them over so that Harry was now on top with Andy pinned.

“I want to return the favour,” Harry whispered huskily into Andy’s ear. His voice held a trace of mischief but rather than worry Andy it only increased the anticipation building inside him.

Harry stole a brief kiss from Andy before with a smirk he shifted down the bed and placed another one just above the band of Andy’s boxers. Andy was grateful Harry wasn’t interested in teasing him as he yanked off Andy’s underwear, throwing them to the floor to join his own before lowering his head.

The first hot wet lick over his clit lifted Andy’s arse off the mattress as his head dropped back. With his eyes closed against the surge of sensations from Harry’s tongue and the finger that was circling his arsehole, Andy knew it wouldn’t be long before he reached his own explosive orgasm.


	19. Chapter 19

“Bill, you’re here!” Andy shouted as he stepped quickly towards the fireplace and wrapped his arms around Bill’s broad shoulders.

“I wasn’t gonna miss my little brother’s birthday,” Bill replied as he pulled back to give Andy a large smile that stretched the scar on his face.

“Indeed, we would not miss this occasion for anything,” Fleur added as she stepped out of the floo to stand beside Bill. “How have you been?”

“Not bad, and getting better every day. It’s wonderful that everyone turned up,” Andy said as he looked around the room. Teddy was standing in the corner chatting with Charlie and Ron while Hermione discussed ministry business with Percy and his wife. Lily was talking to Roxanne and Hugo about the plans for her own party next month while Angelina was in the kitchen with George and Andy was really hoping she would prevent him from tampering with the food or cake, which Andy had yet to see. Even Jake had stopped by before the party to wish him a happy birthday and drop off his gift - a beautiful leather bound journal so that he could record his transition journey and see how far he had come.

“Mum’s not here I see?” Bill commented as Harry joined Andy, handing over a glass of pumpkin juice that Andy accepted with a thankful but small smile.

“Not yet, though I did invite her and Dad but we aren’t really on speaking terms right now,” Andy admitted in a dreary tone.

He had seen his mum a few times since coming out, usually when he dropped off or picked up Lily from the Burrow. At first his mum had tried to keep things civil while purposely misgendering and deadnaming him. Eventually Andy had lost his temper and the fight that followed between them still caused his chest to ache. They hadn’t seen each other since and Andy had all but given up hope on them rebuilding their relationship. It was strange to think that her namesake was so much more accepting and hoped that when Jake and Molly did go public with their relationship she wouldn’t cause problems for them if she discovered Jake’s past.

“I’ve tried talking to her and so has George and Ron and Charlie and even Percy but Mum is stubborn. I think she still thinks of us all as kids that don’t know what we’re doing,” Bill complained with a regretful half smile.

“Thanks for sticking up for me but as James pointed out it’s her problem not mine. I’m happy with my choice whether she agrees with it or not,” Andy stated, glancing over at Harry as he held onto his hand. Their relationship had only grown stronger over the past few months as their communication improved and they opened up more to each other. They had spoken at length about Andy’s feelings about Molly and, while there would always be a part of him that wanted her approval, Andy would not let her rule his life or make him feel guilty for his decision.

“You’re right,” Harry reassured before looking back at Bill and Fleur, “Come and grab yourselves a drink. We’ll be cutting the cake soon.”

Andy pushed aside the sadness inside him and thoughts of his Mum and instead focused on enjoying himself. As he wandered around the living room he stopped to talk to everyone, enjoying how none of them treated him any differently.

“Everyone into the kitchen,” Harry called thirty minutes later and Andy followed Charlie as they continued talking about the quidditch world cup and the debut of the New Zealand Black Brooms, who performed amazingly well even if they didn’t win.

In shock Andy paused as everyone began singing Happy Birthday and his eyes landed on the impressive cake that was sitting in the center of the table. The chocolate icing shone and looked so sweet that Andy licked his lips sure he could almost taste it already.

It was the first time his Mum hadn’t made him a cake but Harry had stepped up and taken on the task. It wasn’t a fancy cake but that didn’t lessen Andy’s appreciation as he looked at the broomsticks that decorated the side while a quill wrote on the top in white icing ‘Happy Birthday Andy’ before disappearing in a shower of gold glitter that settled over the whole cake making it shimmer.

“This is amazing. Thank you,” Andy choked out as he reached out for Harry and pulled him into a tight hug as the amount of love he felt in that moment overwhelmed him and he hid his face in Harry's neck. Once he had composed himself a little he lifted his head and let his eyes move over his family gathered around him and smiled so wide it was almost painful.

“You guys are the best,” Andy stated honestly.

“It’s not done yet,” George called as he pulled out a multicoloured candle and placed it on top with a flourish, “There done.”

“This isn’t going to blow up or anything is it?” Andy asked as George lit the wick with a smirk. The only answer he gave was a cheeky wink that made Andy laugh out loud.

Still grinning like a fool Andy looked down at the cake, watching the flame that fizzed and sparked with little bursts of light. He needed to make a wish and there was only one thing he wanted, so Andy bent down, closed his eyes and blew hard.

A bang of sound caused Andy’s eyes to spring open as he jumped back. With his eyes on the ceiling he watched in amazement at the sparkling blue words that appeared in the air hanging above his head that read Birthday Boy.

“That’s gonna hang over you for the whole day growing smaller until it disappears at midnight. It’s a little something I’ve been working on for a while; I’ve got loads of different ones for all sorts of occasions. I’m calling them candlelations, do you like it?” George asked.

“It’s brilliant,” Andy said as he looked back down at George only for his smile to disappear when he saw who was standing in the kitchen doorway.

“Seems we were a bit late,” Molly said surprisingly shyly as she wrung her hands and shot glances from Arthur beside her to the collection of people in the kitchen.

“Yeah, a little,” Andy replied softly as he looked at the expressions of those around him. Charlie was frowning while Bill had turned away slightly and had crossed his arms staring at the floor while Fleur patted his arm soothingly. Percy was also looking at the floor, not in anger but fear about being caught between Andy and his Mum while his wife kept her head up high. George and Angelina were exchanging glances that Andy couldn’t decipher and Ron was hiding behind Hermione clearly expecting someone to start yelling. The kids meanwhile had frozen in place, aware something was happening but not being completely sure what. However, Harry was wearing a small smile and placing his hand on the base of Andy’s spine nudged him forward.

“Why don’t you two talk in the other room while I dish out the cake to everyone here?” Harry suggested and Andy’s brow drew down in confusion.

“Uh, alright,” he mumbled out and took the few steps forward to come face to face with Molly in the doorway. Their eyes locked for a moment before they both looked away and, turning Molly, walked back into the living room with Andy following behind. As he passed his dad, Arthur reached out and patted his shoulder gently.

“It’s gonna be fine,” Arthur whispered before walking forward and closing the door to the kitchen. Now alone with only Molly, Andy wasn’t sure what to say. He had wished for her to be here and like magic she had arrived but now Andy didn’t know what to do. There were so many emotions filling him, most of them unpleasant as his guilt and shame fought to consume him. For a second, standing before Molly he felt like Ginny again, ashamed and scared of how he felt before his anger sparked. He refused to ever feel like that again and he pushed those feelings away with gritty determination and the knowledge that he wasn’t her anymore, he was him.

Molly’s eyes darted upwards and Andy suddenly remembered the words above his head, looking up at them he let their glow empower him and straightened his spine before looking back at Molly.

“I’ve been thinking recently,” Molly began before stopping and fixing her dress and the hat perched on her curly hair.

“I have too,” Andy said firmly. If his Mum had come here hoping to talk her way around her behavior or once again try and change Andy’s mind then she would be told to leave.

“I know things have been difficult between us and that most of that is my fault but I promise I never intended to hurt you. I just wanted to protect you from what I thought was a terrible mistake,” Molly reasoned calmly and Andy relaxed his shoulders slightly and softened his expression. In truth he was shocked at his Mum’s admittance of guilt concerning their last argument and had expected to have the blame thrust into his lap for not considering her feelings or being too sensitive.

“This is not a mistake Mum,” Andy stated, his voice coming out firm but not sharp. He didn’t want to start another fight but he wanted her to understand the truth of his words.

“I know, it took me a while to see that even with everyone telling me I was wrong,” Molly admitted with a pained smile and a touch of regret in her tone.

“What made you change your mind?” Andy asked out of a burning sense of curiosity.

“Your smile,” Molly said, which made Andy frown in puzzlement, “I was looking through my photo albums hoping to find reminders of my little girl or maybe even proof that you were confused but instead I found something else. I saw your real smile in one of the pictures from when you first rode a broom, dressed in your brother’s old trousers and covered in mud and bruises. You were so happy but then I noticed how uncomfortable you were in the other pictures, how your smile was forced, how stiff your shoulders were and the sad look in your eyes. Once I saw it I couldn’t stop seeing it, in almost every picture I have of my daughter she looks miserable. I want to see you smile and be hap-'' Molly's words cut off as she gave a sniff and pulled out a handkerchief to dab at her eyes.

Andy wasn’t sure what to make of his mother's speech or her tears but reacted out of instinct extending his arms out to his mother. With his arms wrapped around her padded frame Andy held on tightly, his own eyes growing damp over the fact that they were finally coming back together again.

“I’m sorry, I should have listened to you but I was so sure I was right,” Molly sobbed as she clung onto Andy. “ I would be honoured to have you as my son, I love you.”

It was those words that forced Andy’s tears to break free and roll down his cheeks. He had dreamed of hearing those words but considered it no more than a fantasy that grew more fanciful with each snub from his mother. He almost wanted to pinch himself to be sure that this was real but refrained from doing so and instead continued to hug his Mum.

“I love you too,” Andy wept. For the first time in far too long Andy felt safe in his mum's embrace and they remained like that until their tears had been spent. Breaking apart they shared trembling smiles on their matching tearstained faces and Andy quickly picked up the box of tissues from the table to blow his nose.

“I really am sorry dear, for how I acted,” Molly said after taking a tissue herself.

“Let’s just forget about it. I’m just glad you’re here,” Andy suggested. He didn’t want to dwell on the bad but bask in the acceptance he had been given. Whatever shame had lingered seemed to have been banished as Andy broke the last ties he had to who he used to be.

“I am too. Happy birthday, Andy,” Molly added after a brief pause. Andy’s face split in two as he smiled, his chest aching with love and he didn’t think that today could possibly get any better.

“I have a gift for you. I know it’s a little early for it but it’ll get chilly soon enough,” Molly said as she pulled a small package from a pocket in her dress and expanded it with a tap of her wand.

Andy reached for the parcel slowly, intrigued by his Mum’s words and curious about what was under the red paper. Giving it a squeeze the paper crinkled as it compressed causing the ribbon to loosen and Andy took it off before tearing the paper open.

The knitted jumper inside was a deep green and super soft but the gasp that escaped Andy’s mouth was as a result of seeing the gold letter A that was displayed on the front.

“I thought you would still want it in the Harpy’s colours but I can make you a different one if you prefer,” Molly said gently and a touch nervously.

Andy shook his head and closed his eyes against the threat of more tears at his mother's touching gift.

“It’s perfect,” he whispered past the lump in his throat as he opened his eyes. With one arm he pulled his Mum back into a hug and kissed the top of her head affectionately.

“Come on, let’s go and get some cake. Harry did a really good job on it,” Andy said as without letting go he guided them both towards the kitchen. Once more they were a family and in time their relationship would be as strong if not stronger than it had ever been.


	20. Epilogue

Andy tapped the ballpoint pen on his chin thoughtfully as he looked down at the few remaining blank pages before him.

There were so many things he could write about, for example he could mention that less than an hour ago he took his last transition potion but it turned out to be surprisingly anticlimactic. He did feel a small spark of emotion, gratitude mixed with relief but not the rush of excitement he had anticipated. Healer Dankworth had said that his reaction was common, as it turned out many people after finally reaching their goal found themselves a little lost.

Andy didn’t think he was lost, instead it was as if he had found himself so long ago that taking the final potion was more like a formality he had to observe than a necessary task. The changes that had happened to his body over the last three years had been drastic but it had been months since he last noticed anything new.

Dropping the pen beside his journal Andy stood and walked over to the full length mirror hanging on the bedroom wall. It had been placed there two years ago and was a gift from Harry so that he could see how handsome he looked. Those were Harry’s words and even thinking about them brought a smile to Andy’s face. He peered closer, looking for any small signs but his face looked the same as yesterday and the day before that. He rubbed his jaw taking note of the stubble already growing in before tracing the sharper angles of his jaw with a finger. Next he lifted his finger higher, sweeping it down his nose which had grown ever so slightly though it wasn’t quite as big as Ron’s thankfully.

For a moment he stared unmoving, his eyes hadn’t changed but were still the same honeyed brown colour they had always been if set a tiny bit deeper or perhaps that was just an illusion caused by his thicker eyebrows throwing more shadows. One thing was certain though, despite Harry’s fears he didn’t really look like Ron - just himself.

With a smirk he stepped back and gazed over the complete image before him. He hadn’t reached Ron’s height or Bill's but now stood level with Charlie, George and Harry. At the time he had boasted about his height to Harry and jokingly teased him that he would grow taller and Harry would have to look up to him. Chuckling at the memory Andy continued to study his reflection and lifting his hand ran it from the center of his chest downwards until he stopped on his stomach. His flat chest no longer caused a moment of confusion or elation due to familiarity and even at the ripe age of 39 soon to be 40 Andy was in good shape. He didn’t have a six pack or anything since he spent most of his time sitting behind a desk and with the kids all off at Hogwarts didn’t even have them to chase around.

As the direction of his thoughts turned to his children Andy looked away from the mirror and his eyes landed once more on his journal. He could write about what they had been up to recently as their achievements were littered throughout the journal beside his own. It certainly was interesting to see how his thoughts on his voice getting deeper were followed by the pride he had felt at his little Lilypad being sorted into Hufflepuff or his wonderings about whether his hips were finally fading next to three pages of commentary on a match between Gryffindor and Slytherin. Andy snorted in amusement as he headed towards the bed and picked back up the journal. James had been in a right strop after Scoripus beat him to the snitch, but he did congratulate Albus on scoring thiry points with the quaffle.

With a smile Andy sat down and thumbed through the pages as more memories filled his head. So much had happened to all of his family such as James coming out at school by dramatically casting a rainbow over his head while holding onto his boyfriend's hand or the brief fall out Albus had with Scoripus when they were both crushing on the same Slytherin girl who had been using them both to do her homework. Even Lily had proved she was a descendent of the Potter and Weasley bloodline by managing to be the only person to ever pet Headmistress McGonagall and thus earning George’s everlasting respect. Due to all of this the book had been padded out over the years with pictures and letters that had been sandwiched between the pages, including one of Andy’s favorite keepsakes, which was a small clipping from the Hogwarts school paper.

At just under a year into his transition it was impossible to hide his changing body from the public and Witch Weekly jumped on the story. Their clear disapproval hidden in sly insults and a single comment about the possibility of Harry becoming single again soon. Andy, with permission from his boss and the support of his co workers wrote a small reply not calling out the gossip rag’s transphobia but explaining his own choice with an explanation of what it meant to be transgender and various reading sources for those interested in learning more.

In comparison the article the students of Hogwarts printed was much more forward as they called out Witch Weekly as TERF’s and declared Andy a role model for trans kids. Andy could still recall the entire frantically scribbled letter Albus had sent with it that was also hidden within the pages of the book he held.

As Andy turned more of the pages he paused on a picture showing Teddy and Jake stood side by side, Teddy in his lime green healer robes and Jake in the red robes of a trainee Auror as they celebrated the different stages of their careers. Jake’s only just beginning while Teddy had passed his exams and had chosen which department he wanted to specialize in. It wasn’t really a shock to anyone when he announced his intention to join Healer Dankworth’s transmutation department helping people like Andy and Jake find their true selves.

Andy had watched Jake grow in confidence over the years and according to Harry was doing impressively well in his training. He still had a couple of years left and Andy would put money on him proposing to Molly once he had completed it after the looks of longing the pair had shared at Teddy's marriage to Victoire just a few months ago. 

With his head full of thoughts on young love Andy returned to the blank pages and scooped up his pen to begin writing. He wrote about his prediction for Jake and Molly and looking forward to having the kids home for summer soon. He mentioned finishing his potions and the dinner he was having tonight with Harry, Ron and Hermione at a fancy restaurant that had opened in the centre of London. Finally he finished with one simple sentence.

_To be continued…._

"Hey are you ready to go?" Harry asked from the doorway causing Andy's head to snap up in attention.

"Yeah, I'm ready," he replied, closing the book and then placing it in his bedside drawer. "Any chance we can stop at a bookshop on the way? I need a new journal."

"If we leave now there should be time," Harry answered glancing at his watch.

"Great."

Andy walked quickly over to Harry and wrapped his arms around Harry's neck pulling him into a deep kiss.

"I love you," Andy whispered as he drew back an inch, breathing the words over Harry's lips.

"Love you too. Come on or I'll be tempted to keep you here and forget about our meal plans," Harry teased, with a smile as he rested his hands on Andy arse and pressed them closer together. 

"Later," Andy promised before breaking free of Harry's grasp and heading off to get his shoes and coat letting out a small chuckle of amusement at Harry's slightly grumpy expression. It however didn't last long and soon the pair had finished getting ready and walked hand in hand out of grimmauld place into the dark spring evening. There was a spark of something in his chest, the thrill of living that had developed and grown over the last few years and he wondered to himself what adventures awaited him in the future. Andy's story hadn't ended, had barely begun, he had reached his happily ever after and was excited to see what might happen next. So, smiling at Harry beside him Andy breathed in the scent of flowers and enjoyed the slight chill of the breeze around him as the stars above him twinkled in the inky sky.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading this, I hope you enjoyed it.


End file.
